Wife has a Internet Boyfriend

[Lord Evermore]

Being an ordained minister is nothing, you can get those by mail. One of the guys I work with became ordained that way. :-D

 

[Yeeny]

maybe GirlFriday can spread some more light on this issue since she has about 500 internet Boyfriends (most on OT)

Hey!!!!! I do not have any boyfriends. They are all just cheap flings, I am a married woman you know!

Frogger: I think you need to take a step back from everything, and take a deep breath. It is too hard to give advice, when I am not in your relationship, and don't understand why either of you really feel the way you do. Just remember, everything happens for a reason. If you ever feel the need to talk, or just vent, PM me, I am here on and off all day.

 

[bigbootydaddy]

<< They are all just cheap flings >>



lol

 

[FettsBabe]

I can understand his anger and he needs to release it instead of holding it in. Talk to her and tell her how you feel and ask her how she would feel if you were doing the same thing. Women are jealous creatures, so I don't think she will take to kindly after she thinks about it for awhile. I hope you guys work it out.

Women are also emotional and its more dangerous for them to have an emotional 500 mile away email chat than a man to have a one night stand. Men can separate their emotions from sex, and women have problems doing that much less separate them from hours of private talking over the internet. JMHO. Hope everything works out.

 

[MrAnderson]

I heard that most &quot;internet connections&quot; don't ever work out, when the people actually get together they might get married or something believeing they're soul mates or something stupid and get an annulment a couple weeks later because talking and meeting over the net is NOTHING like the real world. Hope you get a chance to straighten things out, but if she actually wants to get together with this guy, let her find out for herself how these things end up..........

 

[Hecubus2000]

Man, I can't belive you're even putting up with that sh!t. That's cheating in my book. Print all that stuff out and save it you may need it.

 

[classy]

Damn that. There is no way I would tolertate that. I would not do anything violent like hitting her or anything, but she damn sure would get an ultimatum. Either she talk to me and not some other man or she can pack her stuff and get the hell out. There is a thing that seems to missing and thats respect. If she was doing this at work or something thats one thing. But for her to do it and right in your face there is a serious lack of respect there. I am sorry but I wouldn't tolerate any other man running my wife by computer, phone, letter, land, air, or sea. There is just to much stuff going on in this world for your wife to interject some other man's opinion into your marriage. Damn if I would allow myself to subject to the scrutiny of some stanger over the internet. Step back my foot. My only step would be with statement and opening the front door for her to get out. Please where's the love for better or for worse. When I took my vows it did not include internet counsel from &quot;friends over the internet&quot;. And he's only 500 miles away damn that. If he was from China that might be different. That old saying what you don't know can't hurt you doesn't apply today. What you don't know today can get you killed.

 

[mrfriendly]

test

 

[DABANSHEE]

Hey I was an internet boyfriend to a married woman, she even use to get in front of her web cam with nothing on but a bath robe &amp; touch herself while we talked on ICQ about me 'licking her'

But when I was last in Europe I asked if she wanted me to fly across to London to see her &amp; she said no (I was basing myself in Amsterdam). So the odds are you don't have to worry. Shes just having a bit of a fantasy on the internet &amp; probably wouldn't want anything to do with the other man in reality.

You don't live in London, do you?

 

[StageLeft]

Hey look at that I agree with Classy for once

 

[Hecubus2000]

Well said Classy.

 

[Isla]

Frogger...

If your marriage is weak to begin with, maybe you do have trouble.

I have a couple of male friends who I correspond with on the Internet... some I have even flirted with. I even have my own message board where we ALL tell each other our problems and give each other advice!

Mr Isla knows that I have relationships outside of him. He can't be everything to me and he doesn't want to be everything to me. I need other people in my life, like friends and family.

Mr Isla, on the other hand, is an introvert and doesn't like to interact with people much. He has no need for a social life, so we have no social life. I have solved this lack by coming here and other places where I can be my extroverted little self.

Another thing... Mr Isla is generally very attractive to the women he works with and when we DO go to a social function I get to see the heat between him and the hot chicks who are always flirting with him. I could let it bother me, but I don't. It reminds me that yeah, he ain't so bad.

Before you fly off the handle, think about what your expectations are in marriage. Are they realistic? My husband does not expect me to be isolated and alone all the time, and I don't expect him to stay a full 6 feet away from women who are obviously sending him signals.

YOu can't control what your mate does. The only thing you can control is your OWN behavior. Make your behavior such that she wants to stay with you.

It works for me.

EDIT: If any of you guys who are advocating taking a hard line here, I certainly hope you NEVER flirt with any of the women you work with or are ever guilty of looking at porn or any other thing that might be construed as 'unfaithful'.... You wouldn't want to be hypocritcal about such things, would you?

 

[DABANSHEE]

wiser words were never said,

well not that I recently recall, anyway.

Hey Isla, what does your hubby think about you watching films like Liquid Sky?

 

[Isla]

Dabanshee,

I haven't been able to find Liquid Sky since the last time I saw it (when I was 20, almost 13 years ago :Q ) but if I ever find it again I'll set up the webcam so you can watch us watching it!

 

[DABANSHEE]

ROTFLMAO

 

[classy]

Isla with all do respect I think you are way off base. First off this is not flirting. You don't discuss private matters of marriage with another man over the internet and call it flirting. What is his motive? I am sure it ain't counseling that will benefit their marriage. Is sounds like to me he is trying to set himself up a piece of tail on the side. And another thing if your husband can't be all you need then you shouldn't be marry. This ain't Three's Company. Like I said before and I'll say it again in these kind of situations if you can't deal with it then leave. But for this man to allow his wife to subject him to this kind of mental anguish is bull pucky. Like I said before if she doesn't like it she can get the f^ck out.

 

[fir3wir3]

out the door she goes.

just my opinion though...may not work for you

 

[bobtist]

Good post, Isla.

I'm sorry, frogger. I can relate (my mom is being unfaithful to my step-dad right now, both physically and with people on the computer) and it really hurts. I hope you can work things out... The people placed in your life are there for a reason.

If you have kids, please don't get a divorce. There has been nothing in my life to cause me more anguish than to see my mom divorced twice, and probably here again soon. I'll be praying for you...

 

[PG]

I also have to agree with Classy on this. I feel that he's right on target.

 

[Isla]

<< And another thing if your husband can't be all you need then you shouldn't be marry >>



Then the same should be true for men.

If your wives can't be all you need then you shouldn't marry! If you wives meet all your needs, then you don't need to look at other women, right? Not even soft core porn (sorry Cowbell).

Women generally have different needs from men. I don't have the need to look at half-nekkid pictures of beefy guys, but I do need to talk a lot and share my feelings/experiences.

I've been married for 8 years, have 3 kids, and seen it all.

A strong marriage can withstand many things, including this...

Besides, Frogger didn't give any details. How do we know what is really going on? For all we know, he is not a very good husband. We can't pass judgement on either of them.

My original advice still stands.

Behave YOURSELF properly... behave in a way that makes your mate WANT to stay... and then you have much less to worry about.

If you are a good, loving mate and your spouse STILL strays, then you can rest assured there was something wrong with your spouse and not you.

In religious terms, we called it Walking Blamelessly.


edit: Bobtist, sorry to hear that. Has she ever had counseling? Sounds like she's stuck in a really destructive pattern.

 

[Optimus]

Isla - excellent post!

frogger: Please, do not think ANY of us (even the good posts, sorry) can properly help your situation - we are a bunch of people on an online forum, thats all. You need to talk to your wife about marriage counselling - you need to go and the 2 of you need to talk to someone who knows how to help your marriage. Do not leave this situation as is, do not react with anger - GO GET REAL HELP.

It is not a sign of weakness or anything like that.

Your marriage may depend on it.

 

[DABANSHEE]

Look its horses for courses here

If Mr &amp; Mrs Isla are happy with the way things are, good for them.

But its obvious that Mr Frogger isnt happy with the way his marriage is. The only way its going to be resolved is if Mr Frogger changes, or his wife changes or if they both change.

One thing though, it may be Mr Frogger's attitude, that got Mrs Frogger reacting the way she did.

Now for things to be resolved one has to deal with the underlying causes, not just the side-effects.

 

[NesuD]

I have to agree with Classy that that is a serious form of disrespect on her part. private matters of a man and wife marraige should first be addressed between them selves. To be counseled by some stranger who basically has no intimate knowledge of the relationship is wrong. This person appears to be after something else which is what you need to protect yourself from immediately. While I am not saying that your marriage is basically broken and unfixable you need to protect yourself in the event that it does go that way. Here is a link to a desktop surveillance program that will log all activities on your pc so that you can stay up on what the mole is up to with your wife. Desktop Surveillance

 

[Scrapster]

You need to talk to your wife about marriage counselling

Maybe the internet dude could counsel Both of them.

 

[ArkAoss]

yo frogger hey you there? drop us an update man, hope you didn't do nothing rash!! hey you still with us?? hheeeeelllooooooooo???? **skh** &quot;Earth to frogger, **skkch** earth to frogger, come in frogger&quot;

you didn't go AWOL on us?? let us know whats goin down, if you went off and did suntin rash we'll feel bad, though i made no input till now, so i won't have to feel like i made ya do suntin stupid...