Wife has a Internet Boyfriend

[Thorn]

OMG... I agree with classy. :Q

This all has to do with respect. It's not the fact that she has a friend on the `Net (we all do), and not the fact that she's aparently not sharing her problems with her husband (though he should soley be the one she talks to about this unless all other avenues have been explored), it's all about her spewing her deepest sentiments about her spouse to a person she really doesn't even know. Sure, my marriage has some rough spots sometimes (whose doesn't?), but I always work things out with her privately and never discuss issues like this with strangers.

Let's face it, this guy that frogger's wife met on the `Net is just trying to weasel his way into a booty call and is trying his best to make her frustrated with her marriage. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and it sure won't be the last.

Ok, now I want to point out something else... frogger shouldn't have stepped in here and done this either. But I guess the difference is that he didn't give us lots of gory details, just a quick summery.

Anyway, if this happened to me I would bring it up with my wife, talk things through, and ask her to stop discussing our private life online and discontinue her relationship with this guy she met. If she didn't stop, I'd ask her to go to counseling with me. If she refused that, then I'd ask her to pack her stuff and we'd see how a seperation would work out for a while. I don't believe that's unreasonable, I just know how much I love my wife and how badly something like this would hurt me... even though some would only consider a situation like this "virtual betrayal".

 

[Isla]

Yes, respect is an important factor.

We know she has showed a lack of respect for Frogger by her actions.

What we don't know is how it got to this point.

Not everyone is Johnlee, you know.

More power, to you Johnlee...

 

[Yeeny]

GirlFriday has taken the stance that its no big deal and that this woman is being maybe unjustly judged. Well if you have problems in your marriage, discover that your husband has developed a realtionship with another woman, and when you confront him about it and he refuses to sleep with you are you saying its okay?

When the hell did I ever say if she was having an affair then it is acceptable behavior? I stated I don't know what is going on in their relationship, anymore than you do, no matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise. I don't choose to assume I know the whole story from one or two sentences, I believe in giving others the benefit of the doubt. And if my husband ever had a relationship with another woman and refused to sleep with me, he would be gone. Then again, if I was so devestated by him having an affair, I doubt it would be him kicking me out of bed, but the other way around. But unlike you, I try to keep rash judgements of others to myself, until I know a few more facts.

 

[Isla]

I was waiting for you to get back in here, GF!

I about choked on my Gordita when I read that. LOL, GF and Isla, encouraging loose living!

Obviously what we are calling for is to step back and consider that this might not be such a simple situation and we can't judge it...

We certainly shouldn't urge him to retaliate in anger!

What this calls for is time to cool down and see what is really going on in their marriage and then take steps to fix it.

Sheesh!!!!

 

[Yeeny]

Isla: Thank you so much for the new signature, I just love that!

 

[ltk007]

GF and Isla are loose? :Q

 

[TravisBickle]

hurtful selfishness is all around us. I wouldn't bother shooting her or him. it would suggest you have ego insecurity. so this woman failed you. so may others. don't worry. you be evil too but get away with it

 

[Johnlee]

Maybe Frogger should roll the 500 miles and meet up with the 600 lb slob whose drooling all over his keyboard, fantasizing about his wife, catch wreck all up in pillsbury's face, give 'im the ole beatdown, pump a coupla 12 guage rounds into his 'puter, drive back, take his wife to Club Headboard one last, long time, and end this whole torrid charade of a marriage.

Btw-is Frogger still alive?

 

[fallenoncrack]

Frogger, you need to suggest marriage counselling to your partner, if she doesn't want to do that then you gotta listen to her reasons why. If she doesn't make sense then tell her that she doesn't make sense and that your marriage is at stake and a marriage counseller is going to be the only option due to the breakdown.

Do you have kids?

PM me and I'll give you more advice.

 

[Optimus]

Why do I feel like many of the people telling this guy to "kick that ho to the curb" are the same type as the guys who were whooping it up for Zoson in his little "conquests" thread? Just an impression I get.

Honestly? I read a lot of anger and attitude from frogger's first post - he calls her a bitch and the other guy an @sshole. Now, if I caught my wife in an affair I'd be PO'ed too, so I'm not judging him on it. But I'm not about to judge her on a 6 line rant by one side of the issue. Could frogger be the jealous type who hacked into her machine? Are they separated? are they living together still? Any legal issues? Kids?

WE KNOW NOTHING.

 

[Isla]

You're welcome, GF.

Now that I read it again, it does seem like a travel slogan for ATOT...

Come to AT, where GF and Isla encourage loose living!

Heh, they should have a few more thousand members by the end of the week.

 

[classy]

Well Isla and GF what difference does it make whether or not men are going to titty bars or cheating? Does that give this woman the right to do this. Just because someone else does wrong it neither justifies or gives lead way for others to do the same. Now maybe I'm wrong ladys but it seems as though both of you seem to take it as well other peole do it so why can't she. If I'm wrong then I apologize. If they have problems she should be talking to her HUSBAND. I think what she has done is wrong and anyone who does this is wrong, man or woman. She's doing this right in his face..............thats the part I can't stomach. Then when he confronted her, he gets put on "restricted access" punishment. Please, her and all her stuff would be on the curb...............in the rain.

 

[Thorn]

<< Maybe Frogger should roll the 500 miles and meet up with the 600 lb slob whose drooling all over his keyboard, fantasizing about his wife, catch wreck all up in pillsbury's face, give 'im the ole beatdown, pump a coupla 12 guage rounds into his 'puter, >>


H3ll yeah! I like that idea much better. Forget what I said before...

 

[Yeeny]

Classy: You could not be more wrong if you tried, so apology accepted.

Isla: If they do get all that traffic, then I think at the very least we should be the spokewomen for AT. Just picture it, both of us lying on a beach with our harem of kept men tending to our every whim. I think it could work...

 

[SSP]

Some of you need to realize there are some things your wife can't talk to you about. You won't understand if you've never been that guy 500Miles away.

I know this married woman from ICQ who is a dear friend to me. She used to talk about her problems (mostly about her husband) to me all the time. All I did was listen and tried to give her some good advices. Anyway, she's doing fine now with her husband and son, and we've become best friends. I didn't hit on her or anything, cause she's older then my mom. :Q

So, I agree with Isla and GF. We don't know enough about this couple to pass judgment, and can anyone explain to me what &quot;you are cut off line&quot; means? No? Ok then, lets move on.

 

His wife gave him the bitch retort. When he asked about it she gets mad and gives him..

&quot;your cut off&quot;

I say log it all.
She married you, not a CRT screen.

I can see a headline in the next few years,
&quot;Internet addiction springs high divorce rate!&quot;

 

[Corn]

Classy, what a refreshing change of pace!!! It's nice to see you posting something that doesn't make me want to whap you upside da head and instead pat you on the back. :Q

It is all about respect, and Frogger's wife is definately showing an incredible lack of it.

I do think that you have slightly mis-understood Isla's and GF's statements as a form of justification for the behavior that Frogger's wife exhibited and instead I believe their comments revolve around what could be construed as hypocritical behavior exhibited by some of the respondants in this thread because of their previous actions (pr0n and such).

However; I'll pose a question to Isla and GF--if you knew that your husbands were hurt because of your online flirtations and &quot;friendships&quot; (as they are obviously not unless you two are slightly fudging reality) would you feel the same way? What if the shoe were on the other foot--which I'm sure it has been many times as we all tend to trespass on our spouses feelings occasionally (intended or not), how would you feel if your husbands were participating in behavior which you feel threatened the sanctity of your marriage and they just said &quot;back off--none of your business!!!&quot;?

Just because your husbands are OK with your online behavior does not mean that everyone else should be. I know my wife wouldn't appreciate the appearance of an online relationship with me and another female--and I certainly have enough respect for her and her feelings to never give that impression--and I would definately have the decency to never throw such behavior in her face under her protests if she ever deemed I had acted improperly with another female.

 

[visgf]

We haven't heard his wife's side at all. Did anyone think that she did try to talk to him about it and his temper got out of hand (I don't think this is too much of a stretch considering his posts) and she just decided to drop the subject? I wouldn't blame her at all for finding someone else to talk to if he refused to do so himself.

Also, since when does talking to a guy about your problems automatically promote him to boyfriend from just a friend. She has had no physical contact with him and he has not mentioned cybersex, so we cannot condemn her for those things. We just don't know.

Until we all know the real facts, all of them, we really have no place to give our judgement.

 

[searcher]

Ya might want to check out this thread Going on for better than a month

And this is rather enlightening:


<< The first 5 years of marraige went from 14 times a week to 7. The next 5 years went from 7 to 1. The last 5 have been 1 per year. >>


From This thread

Just an observation but Isla and GF's opinions seem to be colored by their own activities, much like the rest of us.

There is much more involved here than what we know.

Michael

 

[Isla]

Good points, everyone.

I really don't want this to become a debate... I like to think I am here to help, not to argue.

I do have one more thing to say, and Moonbeam said it better once but I don't know where that thread is at.

One way or another, Frogger is going to have to look inside. His next relationship won't be any better if he doesn't find out what role HE played in the destruction of this one.

Boberfett is a really good example of someone who has lost and learned recently.

Bober, I truly believe that your future relationships will be much better because you have taken the time to understand your own behavior and motivation. In that sense, I am very happy for you... happier days are ahead.

Frogger, I am sorry for what you are going through. My hope for you is that you do see a counselor, with or without your wife, and that you grow and heal from this painful time in your life.

Peace~

 

[chess9]

No one should be giving advice on this kind of issue on this forum.

Words usually have consequences, and often unintended ones.

Having said that, I agree with Isla. No one is everything to anyone. My wife is not &quot;everything&quot; to me, although she is very, very important. I have several female friends with whom I enoy a rapport. We talk about everything! My wife is much more conservative, so talking about everything from orgasm to diaper rash is just not her schtick. However, if a friend is having a hubby problem, I have stayed on the phone talking until very early in the morning. Maybe I'm a voyeur, maybe I'm empathetic/sympathetic, maybe I'm just a bit too garrulous, but I'm only getting more like myself the older I get so I have no apologies. Also, I rarely give advice on relationships. I listen mostly and ask questions. The most daring I've been is to suggest that a friend stay with her husband and get family counseling. But to suggest someone leave a spouse because the spouse is confiding in someone else is utterly irresponsible. And from what I've heard from most of you guys 90% of you are too socially immature to be giving advice to anything more alive than a 110 volt line!

Good luck, Frogger. But get your advice from the pros, not the cons.

 

[Total Refected Power]

Frogger:

I think the &quot;INTERNET MAN&quot; is a sympton of a deeper problem with your relationship that needs to be explored PROFESSIONALLY.

As a Vorlon once said: &quot;Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your side, their side and the truth&quot;.

Get help.

 

[Discordia]

Gotta love B5

 

[SSP]

As a Vorlon once said: &quot;Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your side, their side and the truth&quot;.

hehe... I love B5.


Good post chess9

Specially thins one :

Also, I rarely give advice on relationships. I listen mostly and ask questions.

 

[T4NNER]

No-one is ever happy with what they have. Always searching for something new and better. Men and women will never be content with a completely monogamous relationship. The only thing any of us can do, is to love, and move on with life. Once a person no longer has feelings for you, they should leave. Staying in a relationship with someone you don't love, is pointless. Both of you get hurt more and more, the longer you stay together.