Wife is losing the checkbook tonight...

[PowerEngineer]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
Back on topic:

DurocShark, I really don't know what to say, I know you have a complicated marriage. Hang in there guy.

Amen!

The posters who think immeduate divorce is the only answer to a problem like this should NEVER consider marriage for themselves. If you aren't willing to deal with the "worse" in "for better or worse", then forget it.

This thread puts some interesting perspective to this tread on joint checking accounts.

You should also know that spouses can readily get credit cards in their own names and potentially pile up big credit card debts without you knowledge. This actually happened to a freind of mine. You should definitely go on-line for one of those free credit reports that the agencies are required to provide for free -- just to be sure where you're at!

Good luck!

 

[DaWhim]

she needs to learn about personal finance, get her a book or two on that.

http://www.fatwallet.com/forums/arcmessageview.cfm?catid=52&threadid=160418

 

[iluvtruenos]

How old are your kids, man?

 

[zerocool1]

Originally posted by: ChaoZ
Ouch

yea, wowzah.

 

[Ornery]

Originally posted by: Anubis

...see if your bank has overdraft protection...

Good Lord, I'd never go without overdraft protection. Everybody makes mistakes, so why take a chance with those outrageous fees looming all the time?

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: xaeniac
Don't get married, because you will end up in a divorce; People make mistakes and if this is the first time; You must have mercy; This is what's wrong with the world;

I said consider, not call up a lawyer the next day. I just have a hard time believing that this would be an isolated incident. If she's this irresponsible with money, is that just the tip of the iceberg? I would certainly consider these things.

One, two, five NSF charges is a mistake. This many? Something is just plain wrong. It doesn't matter if it was a woman or a man. If a woman posted saying that her husband did this, I would have said the exact same thing.

 

[5150Joker]

You should encourage your wife to check your finances online before leaving the house so she knows exactly how much money you guys have available before writing checks. That should solve your problems and inevitable conflict over confiscating her checkbook.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Jesus H Christ. She claims you don't give her enough money so she goes ahead and writes bad checks anyway? WTF!?! Does she even update her checkbook so she knows how much is there?

edit:
I never understood this about banks anyway. So you write a bad check and get a charge from both the vendor and the bank for overdrafting. The vendor I can understand, (though there should be a limit on how many times they can try). But the banks obviously knows you don't have the money...why do they think it's in their interest to worsen the hole?

 

[JEDI]

divorce her now! get away from that unhealthy woman!

 

[virtueixi]

Wow, your wife sounds like a hellcat. Hope the sex is good.

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
But the banks obviously knows you don't have the money...why do they think it's in their interest to worsen the hole?

Because it *is*? They make *tons* of money on overdraft fees.

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: Ronstang
Time to make it a family of three.

lol

 

[compuwiz1]

Wow, what a bunch of immature responses here. It's always easy for someone to stand back and judge another, especially on a forum.
To DurocShark;

My brother in law started doing similar things to my sister's account a few years ago. Not only do you have big fees, but I'd be concerned about the amounts and the standings of the checks that were written. Not trying to alarm you, but you could have bigger problems than just NSF bank fees. There might be a bunch of checks out there, to be collected, which were cashed or merchandise bought.

Looks like a whole month worth of trouble. In my brother in law's case, it turned out he deposited some money in some online casinos, using a visa debit card. He lost, and deposited some more, lost that, then got in too deep. He went crazy depositing, trying to get back ahead. In the end, he'd lost about $5000 from their checking account and also caused about $3000 worth checks that were written to pay bills to bounce. It ended up costing them dearly. He was sick and had a gambling addiction, which he's gotten some help for since then.

You need to get her to level with you. She might have a problem that she needs help with. Once an addiction takes over, the addicted person no longer has control. The addiction controls the person. I'm not trying to assume too much here, but it sure looks like something I've seen before. If you love her, you must also stand by to help if she's got a sickness.

2 years ago they built a casino within minutes of where we live. I know some people who were stable in their financial lives up until then. Now they have been reduced to financial nothingness and a couple have lost their homes.

Good luck man. I'd be looking at the computer real hard, if I were you, to try and see what goes on there. Sorry to hear about this.

 

[5150Joker]

BTW if you guys think what his wife did is bad, my dad and I had a joint business account and being naive, I let him open one of his businesses in my name. He ended up not paying some bills and I got stuck with a $3000 judgement (goodbye credit rating) and on top of that, the bastage failed to pay a $100 outstanding fee on the joint checking account (after I told him to close it) and got me blacklisted.

 

[OS]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Update
She woke up around 2am. I was still up. I showed her my printout of the account, her response was to start blaming me.

They were all checks. Some of the places she bounced with were resubmitting the checks, so it's not as many actual checks as it appears. However, her response was that I don't give her enough money. Which is strange since I have direct deposit to the shared account.

Anyway, I took over paying bills and confiscated the checkbook. After a long fight we both mellowed and are going to relax and see what happens.

As for online account management, yes, I have that setup. I just wasn't watching it closely since she has always done our finances. Last night was the first time I checked. And that was because I wanted to know why there wasn't enough $$ in the bank to pay the rent.

I make $60k a year. That should be enough to pay our bills.

Unfortunately, because of the hole she's dug by writing checks left and right on money that we didn't have, it looks like this is gonna be a really crappy Christmas. I feel for the kids.

lol, she's blaming you for not having enough money.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: GeekDrew

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
But the banks obviously knows you don't have the money...why do they think it's in their interest to worsen the hole?

Because it *is*? They make *tons* of money on overdraft fees.

Yeah, I guess I realize that...it just makes me mad 'cause it seems ethically wrong. I mean, geez, is it so hard to ask a service to actually have some of your best interests in mind? To be *gasp* ethical, and have a commitment to the customer? I thought banks used your money to invest and make themselves money (am I wrong?).

The whole thing would piss me off so much that the second it was paid off I'd take my money elsewhere.

It's kinda like my current employer. I work for a company *cough* Landry's *cough* that I consider a true evil. They only find ways to skate both their customers and employees, and cut corners just so they can have a few more pennies at the quarter's end. I really hate the company and can't wait to leave them (which I'm in the process of trying to do).

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
Yeah, I guess I realize that...it just makes me mad 'cause it seems ethically wrong. I mean, geez, is it so hard to ask a service to actually have some of your best interests in mind? To be *gasp* ethical, and have a commitment to the customer? I thought banks used your money to invest and make themselves money (am I wrong?).

The whole thing would piss me off so much that the second it was paid off I'd take my money elsewhere.

But *where* would you take your service? All banks do this. They would have to be insane not to do the same, since it's common banking practice. That said, I know that several banks have much lower overdraft rates than this thread's example...

 

[The Godfather]

I hate it when the wife blames everything on the husband. It makes me wanna rip my arms off and beat someone to death.

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: KLin
Holy....Fscking....******....:shocked:

QFT!!! No way this is the first time this has happened.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: GeekDrew

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
Yeah, I guess I realize that...it just makes me mad 'cause it seems ethically wrong. I mean, geez, is it so hard to ask a service to actually have some of your best interests in mind? To be *gasp* ethical, and have a commitment to the customer? I thought banks used your money to invest and make themselves money (am I wrong?).

The whole thing would piss me off so much that the second it was paid off I'd take my money elsewhere.

But *where* would you take your service? All banks do this. They would have to be insane not to do the same, since it's common banking practice. That said, I know that several banks have much lower overdraft rates than this thread's example...

Well exactly. Since all banks do it, it's not like I'd get any more satisfaction out of the action other than just to spite the bank. Juvenile, probably, but if the bank was unwilling to work with me then that's what would happen.

Hopefully I'll never have this problem.

 

[TallBill]

Originally posted by: 5150Joker
BTW if you guys think what his wife did is bad, my dad and I had a joint business account and being naive, I let him open one of his businesses in my name. He ended up not paying some bills and I got stuck with a $3000 judgement (goodbye credit rating) and on top of that, the bastage failed to pay a $100 outstanding fee on the joint checking account (after I told him to close it) and got me blacklisted.

Wowsers, you got pwned.

 

[Juno]

sh!t, i feel you.

 

[ThePresence]

The immaturity in this thread is shocking, although it shouldn't be.

 

[vrbaba]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
I just wasn't watching it closely since she has always done our finances. Last night was the first time I checked.

There is you answer for letting her do it

 

[shilala]

You handled it very well.
I can't take stupidity to that factor.
Paying the bank 29 bucks a crack would kill me.
Sorry man!!!