Shawn
Lifer
- Apr 20, 2003
- 32,236
- 53
- 91
Originally posted by: Ranger X
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Truer words never spoken.
Originally posted by: Ranger X
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Originally posted by: iloveme2
Originally posted by: Ranger X
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Truer words never spoken.
Originally posted by: Ranger X
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Originally posted by: Atlantean
Well marriage counselling would be in order for sure, but you have to decide if you still want to stay with her after she broke your trust. I am sure you have already decided what you are going to do though.
Originally posted by: dababus
kick that guy's a$$ who take your wife to his place. Some people don't care about stepping over other people's territory and need to be taught a lesson.
Originally posted by: JHawk
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: JHawk
Men cheat for sex. Women cheat for the excitement/romance. If you can't provide the excitement she is looking for ( and hey this probably isn't your fault--I know from experience with my ex-wife) then I say move on.
WTF?!? is this your rationalization for all men and all women? Women can cheat just for the sex of it and men can cheat looking for love.
No wonder you have an ex-wife.
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I'm not rationalizing anything Bud--just speaking from personal experience. Not all men cheat for sex nor women for romance. All I know is that the spark I brought to my marriage wasn't enough for my wife. I caught her with another man and THAT is why I have an ex-wife.:disgust:
Originally posted by: LLLosingit
Man I'm so sorry to hear that.
I was with my (ex) wife for almost 10 years and found out she was cheating on me for the last 3 months we were together.
we tried to work things out but my trust in her was gone and no matter how hard I wanted it to work I found I could forgive her but not forget.
We have two kids so that made it even harder but my life is better now, yes I lost my kids and yes I lost everything I owned (and some I didn't) and yes I will end up paying $200,000 in child support before it's all over but I kept my sanity! She's still trying to get that LOL
If you think you can learn to trust her again then saving what you have is still possible, if you feel the trust is lost forever then it's time to move on.
Give it some time, I have some friends that worked through the same thing and ended up with a stronger marrige for it.
Good Luck
P.S. don't dwell on it, keep yourself busy and don't do anything that you will regret later, Right now she's the guilty one so don't do anything to try to even the score, If you do it may come back to bite you in the butt later.
Originally posted by: Golgatha
Originally posted by: dababus
kick that guy's a$$ who take your wife to his place. Some people don't care about stepping over other people's territory and need to be taught a lesson.
Thank you! Finally someone realized that the guy who she cheated with, pretty much had to know she was married. He had a total disrespect for her spouse, and a total disregard for the institution of marriage. I'd be looking to pummel his a$$ myself, but then perhaps he isn't worth going to jail for either. Of course with no kids in the picture, it sure as hell would be tempting.
Originally posted by: y2kc
Originally posted by: AMCRambler
You guys have been together for 8 years, thats a long time. It's probably even been longer since you went out before you got married. You can't just throw all that away because she slept with somebody else. Yeah it hurts like hell, but you have to realize she didn't go sleep with the guy because she loved him. She obviously loves you because she told you. She slept with someone else out of physical need and that's not nearly as bad as if she didn't love you anymore. I think you guys can work through it. You've got to deal with her physical needs though. Are you guys going through a dry stretch in the bedroom? If so you gotta remedy that. She shouldn't be looking elsewhere for this kind of attention. I think you need to forgive her and then sweep her off feet, take a nice vacation with her some place like Aruba, something exotic, romance her, make her realize that even though she did what she did, nothing is going to change how you feel about her. I can only imagine how bad you feel right now, but you've got to get past it and move on. Don't lose a good thing.
Correct me if i'm wrong but it sounds like you're saying that it's his fault. He neglected her and she only acted out of a need left unfulfilled? now he should wine and dine and sweep this woman off of her feet?
wrong.
This is not his fault. If she had needs that were unfulfilled she should have expressed them to her husband and if he chose not to fulfill them she should have left the relationship.
Originally posted by: tkdkid
Oh so many people have asked but I forgot to respond, no we don't have any kids.
We've been talking and it's kind of the same old story. She feels unappreciated.... That we don't flirt much with each other anymore, or that we don't act like crazy teenagers in love apparently bothers her. We do have a fair share of that, but when you get older, it's just different, you know? She has very poor self esteem...she never thought anybody else would ever like her like I did when we started going out, and this guy did and she just went with it.
We're still young, 26 and 27.... I change my mind every 5 seconds. I am hurt on the deepest level possible, I just want her to leave and never see her again. At the same time, I still love her and hope to work it out.... Well, professional counseling is something we've agreed on. No idea what to do in the meantime.
Originally posted by: repdtek
Hey man I gotta give my 2 cents:
Just the thought of my wife giving up the most sacred and powerful parts a woman has to another man is enough to make me sick. It is pure selfishness and it didnt happen overnight. If you are able to forgive her you are a far better man then me. I would detatch myself emotionally and move out, file a divorce and find a more mature and dedicated woman...kids or not and I have 4. I am sorry to hear this it is a very scary thought...I would be afraid as to what I might do to the other individual...I can just about promise you I would at least kick his ass. Hang in there bro I bet you have more empathy from guys in these forums then your "WIFE" does.
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: repdtek
Hey man I gotta give my 2 cents:
Just the thought of my wife giving up the most sacred and powerful parts a woman has to another man is enough to make me sick. It is pure selfishness and it didnt happen overnight. If you are able to forgive her you are a far better man then me. I would detatch myself emotionally and move out, file a divorce and find a more mature and dedicated woman...kids or not and I have 4. I am sorry to hear this it is a very scary thought...I would be afraid as to what I might do to the other individual...I can just about promise you I would at least kick his ass. Hang in there bro I bet you have more empathy from guys in these forums then your "WIFE" does.
If you think a couple folds of skin is the most sacred and powerful part of a woman your wife really got herself a winnar!
By your definition of it being the 'most powerful' part then the man's counterpart is also....if it is the 'most powerful' saying no to infidelity when it's offered would be impossible with that logic.
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Originally posted by: AMCRambler
Originally posted by: y2kc
Originally posted by: AMCRambler
You guys have been together for 8 years, thats a long time. It's probably even been longer since you went out before you got married. You can't just throw all that away because she slept with somebody else. Yeah it hurts like hell, but you have to realize she didn't go sleep with the guy because she loved him. She obviously loves you because she told you. She slept with someone else out of physical need and that's not nearly as bad as if she didn't love you anymore. I think you guys can work through it. You've got to deal with her physical needs though. Are you guys going through a dry stretch in the bedroom? If so you gotta remedy that. She shouldn't be looking elsewhere for this kind of attention. I think you need to forgive her and then sweep her off feet, take a nice vacation with her some place like Aruba, something exotic, romance her, make her realize that even though she did what she did, nothing is going to change how you feel about her. I can only imagine how bad you feel right now, but you've got to get past it and move on. Don't lose a good thing.
Correct me if i'm wrong but it sounds like you're saying that it's his fault. He neglected her and she only acted out of a need left unfulfilled? now he should wine and dine and sweep this woman off of her feet?
wrong.
This is not his fault. If she had needs that were unfulfilled she should have expressed them to her husband and if he chose not to fulfill them she should have left the relationship.
Maybe she was expressing them. Maybe it was subtle and he was missing the signals. I'm not saying it was his fault, I'm just saying maybe she was trying to tell him but he really wasn't picking up on it and she didn't know how else to express it. Or maybe she dind't even realize it was happening herself. I don't know enough about it to say. But I do know is that there has to be a reason she is cheating after 8 years of marriage. That sort of thing usually happens a lot sooner. I remember hearing somewhere that divorces usually occur in the first 4 years of marriage. If it's 8 years later and they are still together, then obviously she was happy for quite a while. I think something changed with their intamacy and he didn't realize it but she did. I still think she deserves a second chance. People screw up, it happens.
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: repdtek
Hey man I gotta give my 2 cents:
Just the thought of my wife giving up the most sacred and powerful parts a woman has to another man is enough to make me sick. It is pure selfishness and it didnt happen overnight. If you are able to forgive her you are a far better man then me. I would detatch myself emotionally and move out, file a divorce and find a more mature and dedicated woman...kids or not and I have 4. I am sorry to hear this it is a very scary thought...I would be afraid as to what I might do to the other individual...I can just about promise you I would at least kick his ass. Hang in there bro I bet you have more empathy from guys in these forums then your "WIFE" does.
If you think a couple folds of skin is the most sacred and powerful part of a woman your wife really got herself a winnar!
By your definition of it being the 'most powerful' part then the man's counterpart is also....if it is the 'most powerful' saying no to infidelity when it's offered would be impossible with that logic.
Å
while i always agree with what you have to say alkemyst, i do disagree with this...
i think he meant physically its the most powerful part, and he is right. it is a sacred bond that only the two involved in the marriage should share. i see what you are saying, but i think you are just a little off base on this one.