Originally posted by: JHawk
Men cheat for sex. Women cheat for the excitement/romance.
that's bull. women like sex too and will cheat for it. guys are just pigs, always sniffing for fresh ass.
Originally posted by: JHawk
Men cheat for sex. Women cheat for the excitement/romance.
Originally posted by: rickn
Originally posted by: JHawk
Men cheat for sex. Women cheat for the excitement/romance.
that's bull. women like sex too and will cheat for it. guys are just pigs, always sniffing for fresh ass.
Actually it does mean she's weak, or doesn't love him, or the relationship is in a bad way. Unless they'd previously agreed that they can sleep with other people most relationships - even if unspoken (and in this case it WAS spoken) rely on the fact that the other won't cheat. Wanting to cheat is something a lot of people experience. Many say no to it. She said yes. So, she is one of the conditions you mentioned.Because she slept with someone else, doesn't make her nasty or evil or weak - it doesn't mean that you guys have problems in any way or that she's missing out or longing for something or that you're not doing something right or that she doesn't love you or whatever may be going through your, or anyone elses mind.
It could very simply have just been, for what it's worth - some sex. But for what, why would she, you ask?
She probably should have thought of that before she f*cked another guy. Twice.She is sorry...she hasn't stopped crying since she told me. She's been verbally chastising herself about how she's ruined her whole life. She says that 'it didn't meant anything' and that she still loves me and wants to be with me.
She won't have anywhere to go if I tell her to just leave. Her Dad is in Miami, her mother is in Panama. She won't make enough money at her new job to support herself and she says she doesn't want to live alone anyway. Does all that make a difference to me? Well.....yeah it seems like it does. If she had a well paying job or some friends to stay with, I (most likely) would have told her to just leave.
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
So what was the point in telling you? what good did it do for you? Shes a weak person who couldnt handle her own guilt and had to hurt you to get it out of her system to make her feel better.
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Actually it does mean she's weak, or doesn't love him, or the relationship is in a bad way. Unless they'd previously agreed that they can sleep with other people most relationships - even if unspoken (and in this case it WAS spoken) rely on the fact that the other won't cheat. Wanting to cheat is something a lot of people experience. Many say no to it. She said yes. So, she is one of the conditions you mentioned.Because she slept with someone else, doesn't make her nasty or evil or weak - it doesn't mean that you guys have problems in any way or that she's missing out or longing for something or that you're not doing something right or that she doesn't love you or whatever may be going through your, or anyone elses mind.
It could very simply have just been, for what it's worth - some sex. But for what, why would she, you ask?
Originally posted by: AMCRambler
You guys have been together for 8 years, thats a long time. It's probably even been longer since you went out before you got married. You can't just throw all that away because she slept with somebody else. Yeah it hurts like hell, but you have to realize she didn't go sleep with the guy because she loved him. She obviously loves you because she told you. She slept with someone else out of physical need and that's not nearly as bad as if she didn't love you anymore. I think you guys can work through it. You've got to deal with her physical needs though. Are you guys going through a dry stretch in the bedroom? If so you gotta remedy that. She shouldn't be looking elsewhere for this kind of attention. I think you need to forgive her and then sweep her off feet, take a nice vacation with her some place like Aruba, something exotic, romance her, make her realize that even though she did what she did, nothing is going to change how you feel about her. I can only imagine how bad you feel right now, but you've got to get past it and move on. Don't lose a good thing.
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
So what was the point in telling you? what good did it do for you? Shes a weak person who couldnt handle her own guilt and had to hurt you to get it out of her system to make her feel better.
You're lame. That's your problem.We've openly criticized other couples for sleeping around. Our relationship has been great for over 8 years. We're very religious and very honest with each other. I have no idea what to do.
1. What if the girl hasn't found anyone yet? And is just waiting for someone richer to come along, but until then she will suck the $$/resources out of you? If you don't think this could happen, consider my roomate. He made this married lady cheat with him, and broke up their marraige (it was bound to happen anyway, she's such a whore with no morals). Anyways, my roomate is wealthy. He just cosigned on her $1500 house for her kids, bought new washer/dryer, beds for all the kids. He cosigned for her car and helps her on the payments ($500/month) b/c her credit sucked. I just talked to her the other night, she said she is no longer our maid (we hired her after she moved out) b/c her and my roomate are THROUGH. She had been cheating on him for the past 2 months, and now she wants to pick up a package at our house cuz my roomie is on vacation. She claims that my roomate bought her kids an xmas present and it will be delivered to my place. She wants to get the package before my roomate comes home from vacation b/c she doesn't want to deal with him anymore, of course he's in Costa Rica and doesn't even know of her "plan".Originally posted by: AndrewPaulNet
"First bolded part: You ask "why wouldn't she just leave unless she really does love me right?". Obviously if you're supporting her with money, a place to stay, and let her fvck around with men when she wants then you're right, she would have no reason to leave. Hell, that would be paradise for me, someone supporting me while I go out and have the time of my life! Also, you would honestly let her fvck guys if she found them sexually attractive? Please grow some balls and take a stand, I don't go around asking my g/f if I can fvck a girl b/c I'm attracted to her and don't expect her to either. I can look, but not touch.
Second bold part: If you're planning to spend the rest of your life with someone and consider your sex with them a "treasure", then how can you go and say that this "treasure" can be had by more people than you and your wife? You aren't making sense. If you shared your "treasure" with someone else outside of the marraige, it wouldn't be a "treasure" anymore, it would be trash.
Third bolded part: You say you don't like the idea of "open relationships", yet "an introduction of another partner or 2 between the couple, is fine". You just basically said that swinging is ok every now and then, which isn't much different from an "open relationship" except that you have an "open relationship" together instead of alone."
1. She can leave because she can easily find someone richer, sexier, etc. etc. There are always options when you're single. The fact that she doesn't - as much as he may not think so - may actually mean something. As for taking a stand, etc. etc. I mos' def' do not go out there and ask my girl if I can do a girl because I'm attracted to her, and she doe not do that to me. At the very core of what I wrote, I said people are different. My wife and I have a stable relationship between us where we are both fully satisfied with just each other. I don't feel the need to have sex with other girls, I look, I don't touch and I'm sure she does the same. But not everyone is the same. And if the day came where I was about to go and cheat on her, then I would have this very same discussion about introducing someone else.
2. I didn't mean that sex, as sex is treasure. I really meant sex as love making between a man and his wife or 2 LOVED ONES *a girlfriend and boyfriend* as a treasure. After which I said sex feels good and is fun, and some people are able to treat it as such. I'm saying what the 2 people do, the love they make is what I consider the treasure in itself. If another is introduced after mutual agreement, then what exactly is wrong with that? Under your stipulation, am I to take it that if a girl had sex or made love with several partners before me, that what I consider as treasure is actually trash? or vice versa? What if she was married before? and leading into....
3. "I don't like the idea of open relationships or anything like that as in each person being sexually independent, but an introduction of another partner or 2 between the couple, is fine; and if compromise is present and fair then there should be no problems whatsoever", is what I said,
If you want to call it swinging, then I suppose that is what it is. Swinging technically is regularly habitual. In his and her case, this is something she did after 8 years. Not months, 1 or 2 years, 8 years. If they're minds were open enough to the idea of introducing someone AT ALL, she would not have done it behind his back, possibly.
So if it's a trust issue. What if she approached you and said she wanted to sleep with another man?Personally, I would divorce her. If my wife cheated on me I'd know I could never trust her again and besides, what would be the point of being married to someone you can't trust?
Originally posted by: JHawk
Men cheat for sex. Women cheat for the excitement/romance. If you can't provide the excitement she is looking for ( and hey this probably isn't your fault--I know from experience with my ex-wife) then I say move on.
Originally posted by: theNEOone
humans aren't meant to be in a monogamous relationship. this goes for both guys and girls.
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Hes right, monogamy is not in human nature.Quote
Originally posted by: theNEOone
humans aren't meant to be in a monogamous relationship. this goes for both guys and girls.
=|
up until this post, everything was good advice