Originally posted by: AndrewPaulNet
"First bolded part: You ask "why wouldn't she just leave unless she really does love me right?". Obviously if you're supporting her with money, a place to stay, and let her fvck around with men when she wants then you're right, she would have no reason to leave. Hell, that would be paradise for me, someone supporting me while I go out and have the time of my life! Also, you would honestly let her fvck guys if she found them sexually attractive? Please grow some balls and take a stand, I don't go around asking my g/f if I can fvck a girl b/c I'm attracted to her and don't expect her to either. I can look, but not touch.
Second bold part: If you're planning to spend the rest of your life with someone and consider your sex with them a "treasure", then how can you go and say that this "treasure" can be had by more people than you and your wife? You aren't making sense. If you shared your "treasure" with someone else outside of the marraige, it wouldn't be a "treasure" anymore, it would be trash.
Third bolded part: You say you don't like the idea of "open relationships", yet "an introduction of another partner or 2 between the couple, is fine". You just basically said that swinging is ok every now and then, which isn't much different from an "open relationship" except that you have an "open relationship" together instead of alone."
1. She can leave because she can easily find someone richer, sexier, etc. etc. There are always options when you're single. The fact that she doesn't - as much as he may not think so - may actually mean something. As for taking a stand, etc. etc. I mos' def' do not go out there and ask my girl if I can do a girl because I'm attracted to her, and she doe not do that to me. At the very core of what I wrote, I said people are different. My wife and I have a stable relationship between us where we are both fully satisfied with just each other. I don't feel the need to have sex with other girls, I look, I don't touch and I'm sure she does the same. But not everyone is the same. And if the day came where I was about to go and cheat on her, then I would have this very same discussion about introducing someone else.
2. I didn't mean that sex, as sex is treasure. I really meant sex as love making between a man and his wife or 2 LOVED ONES *a girlfriend and boyfriend* as a treasure. After which I said sex feels good and is fun, and some people are able to treat it as such. I'm saying what the 2 people do, the love they make is what I consider the treasure in itself. If another is introduced after mutual agreement, then what exactly is wrong with that? Under your stipulation, am I to take it that if a girl had sex or made love with several partners before me, that what I consider as treasure is actually trash? or vice versa? What if she was married before? and leading into....
3. "I don't like the idea of open relationships or anything like that as in each person being sexually independent, but an introduction of another partner or 2 between the couple, is fine; and if compromise is present and fair then there should be no problems whatsoever", is what I said,
If you want to call it swinging, then I suppose that is what it is. Swinging technically is regularly habitual. In his and her case, this is something she did after 8 years. Not months, 1 or 2 years, 8 years. If they're minds were open enough to the idea of introducing someone AT ALL, she would not have done it behind his back, possibly.