Wife wants to go back to Med School...having troubles with the math on this.

[Insomniator]

It sounds like she's come too far to chase her dream. She should have became a doctor before getting married and having kids.

Seriously she's just gonna move out for a year? Pretty ridiculous.

 

[alkemyst]

If she is making $125k, med school doesn't make a lot of sense unless it's a passion. The chances of finishing it with two kids is going to be challenging yet alone even getting accepted.

 

[Ausm]

Are you feeling OK? You're agreeing with me?

Ziiiiiiiing!

 

[ChopperDave]

Who are you and what have you done with our six????

Wow if she keeps that up I might have to take her off ignore. Sound, logical, well-constructed advice. Hopefully a pattern emerges.

Awww there she is :$

LMFAO

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Ziiiiiiiing!

I give her an A for effort, a C for execution. She really should get back to bed and rest up though -- she is obviously delirious giving that kind of good, sound advice.

 

[sixone]

Wow if she keeps that up I might have to take her off ignore. Sound, logical, well-constructed advice. Hopefully a pattern emerges.

Please don't.

 

[sixone]

I give her an A for effort, a C for execution. She really should get back to bed and rest up though -- she is obviously delirious giving that kind of good, sound advice.

Or you need to be delirious to recognize it.

 

[Gigantopithecus]

OP, is your wife a Pharm.D?

 

[ChopperDave]

I give her an A for effort, a C for execution. She really should get back to bed and rest up though -- she is obviously delirious giving that kind of good, sound advice.

At least we know there's a tipping point where even she can't justify blaming the male by default.

I would be pretty upset if my wife tried pushing something like this on me. Bravo to the OP for keeping his cool.

 

[Saint Nick]

I'm just a kid, but I don't think this is a good idea.

 

[vi edit]

If she is making $125k, med school doesn't make a lot of sense unless it's a passion. The chances of finishing it with two kids is going to be challenging yet alone even getting accepted.

She knows and has talked to some of the people that sit on the review board. They like non-trads. And we've got a number of friends that are MD's of various ages that went through med school/residence with kids and survived. Most are honest that it sucked, but most have said that she'll have it easier because her half year of pharmacology is going to be a breeze, and the clinical side is going to be a cakewalk compared to what they had since she's worked in that setting for over 7 years.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Or you need to be delirious to recognize it.

I know you are, but what am I?

 

[ChopperDave]

I know you are, but what am I?

She almost had me. I guess the half-life of her meds are about the time it takes to type a sentence and hit submit.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

She knows and has talked to some of the people that sit on the review board. They like non-trads. And we've got a number of friends that are MD's of various ages that went through med school/residence with kids and survived. Most are honest that it sucked, but most have said that she'll have it easier because her half year of pharmacology is going to be a breeze, and the clinical side is going to be a cakewalk compared to what they had since she's worked in that setting for over 7 years.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope it works out for your family.

 

[sixone]

She almost had me. I guess the half-life of her meds are about the time it takes to type a sentence and hit submit.

Too bad you can't take meds for good manners.

 

[Imp]

Sounds like she should do it, but just stall and delay for a few years. If she's banking $125/year, then keep banking, pay off debts, save up, and take the time to plan.

The whole application process should take a while itself with MCATS (??) and writing the actual university applications. Stall further by seeing if any courses can be taken part-time locally for a while.

I'm thinking about maybe changing careers and going back for another bachelors for 3 years. Difference is I have no real obligations, but I'm taking my sweet time to plan and save while working full-time.

 

[Sukhoi]

As many people have said, your wife sounds very selfish. She had time to do this - 5 years ago. Seems absurd she's considering it after looking at the financial and family costs.

Why don't you move somewhere exciting once your kids are older and don't need an emergency babysitter?

 

[DrPizza]

What I can't fully figure out is the cost benefit of this.

If you're only looking at $$$ for costs/benefits, then there may not be any. However, happiness, professional satisfaction, etc., are all benefits.

If someone decided they didn't like their $100k a year job, and instead, wanted a $60k a year job that they would be happier with - I would have no problem supporting them in that decision. However, if someone had a $50k per year job, and decided that they would be happier with a minimum wage job - well, there are some responsibilities, such as "enough" money for raising the family.

Money isn't everything. However, I'll also point out that your family is much more important. 7 years of commitment - at the current age of your children - is taking a lot away from the family. If she could wait until the youngest is at least in high school, that might be a little better?

Been there, done that. When my kids were fairly young, I decided to go back and switch to teaching mathematics. That meant I had to have a specific degree in math, and that meant 3 more years of college. Thinking back on that, 7 years with that kind of time commitment away from the family would have been far too much. 3 years was a sacrifice, but in the long run, it paid off many times over.

 

[DeviousTrap]

You wanted math, so here you go. I’m making some crude assumptions here and ignoring the cost of cashing out that 401k, as well as student loan interest, and investment contributions.

She’s forgoing $125k of income for 7 years. Assuming no raises and 3% inflation, that’s ($802,148.99) in today’s money.

An additional $200,000 in debt over the next 4 years has a present value of ($191,430.57)

Assuming no income for the first 4 years, then $45k a year for the next 3, that’s a present value of $116,486.12.

The rough cost of attending med school: $877,093.44.

Now to calculate how long that will take you to pay back.

Grow 877,093.44 at 3% for the next 7 years as that’s when she’ll start earning her new $350k salary.= $1,081,565.50

At $350k a year, that’ll take her a little over 3 years to make up the cumulative cost of the education, so you’ll be a net even, approximately 10 years from today.

I could be a little more scientific in my approach, but I can't figure out where my financial calc is, so I relied on some random internet sites.

 

[blackdogdeek]

how old are the kids?

ours are 6 and 8. i would never sacrifice this time in my children's lives for the mere possibility of a more enjoyable career and only the potential for more money. but then your wife and i probably see things differently regarding our children. it's also probable i have a different perspective having lost my SIL at an age that prevented her from seeing her kids grow up. imo, i agree with other posters that the time for choosing career paths has passed now that there are children.

however, it sounds like her choice has already been made and she is just trying to convince you so i think you will just have to prepare for the hell of the next 7 years.

good luck, vi

 

[Eug]

A couple I know went through this. She had a well-paying job, but hated it. She was in her late 20s and he was in his 30s. They moved away to the school. He had to quit his job here to move there to help support her and the kid.

Financially it was bad for them, but she's way happier now, and they survived it just fine. She's finished her med school now, and is gung ho to start residency.

However, it definitely wasn't a breeze for her, in terms of the classes. She felt way older than everyone else (as indeed she was), and didn't have the same stamina for studying everyone else did, esp. since she had a kid too. Plus, if you're used to a well paying job, it's tough to go back to living like a student, esp. if you're supporting a kid. Luckily for them her mother was there, and could babysit.

 

[Merad]

Shitty situation OP.

In your shoes I would probably support her dreams but try to convince to wait several years. If you have young children (I think I saw a recent maternity leave mentioned?) IMO it's unacceptable for their mother to basically be gone for several years, and that's not counting what the separation would do to your relationship with her. If you can wait til the kids are older then it may be easier to keep the family together while she's in school, plus you'll have some time to prepare financially.

I don't think that not doing it is really an option since her mind already seems to be set on it. She'll probably end up hating her job more and more, and blame you for killing her dreams. That doesn't end well. But she needs to follow through on her commitments to her children and marriage.

 

[PhoKingGuy]

She knows and has talked to some of the people that sit on the review board. They like non-trads. And we've got a number of friends that are MD's of various ages that went through med school/residence with kids and survived. Most are honest that it sucked, but most have said that she'll have it easier because her half year of pharmacology is going to be a breeze, and the clinical side is going to be a cakewalk compared to what they had since she's worked in that setting for over 7 years.

Everyone really needs to shut up here....

<--- Just finished first year of med school. My advice? horrible, horrible, horrible idea.

This is literally THE HARDEST thing you will ever do, My school has a pharm school as well, I can't tell you how much harder we work than they do, its not that "she already knows everything." She doesn't, she will need to work just as hard as everyone else and the pharmacology unit is one small part of schooling, and basic enough that anyone who was a pharm tech could actually do pretty well in it.

The belief that she's going to be able to coast through it easily is false, get that out of your head right now. She will need to study 8ish hours a day to be successful.

Also, you're betting a lot on her getting into the school around the corner. Regardless of what any comittee says, unless she knows half the adcom, chances of her getting into a traditional MD school are slim. They like non-trad applicants to a point, but those with established careers like hers often get overlooked. Its even more difficult to get residencies of your choosing. People with amazing stats and scores have trouble getting into colleges and residencies of their choice, what makes you think your wife is going to be able to get it with such certainty? Are you prepared to move across country for it?

FYI, there is a Pharm.D in my class who practices on the weekends, last I spoke to him about it, he mentioned that he moved his family out to where the school is and that his marriage is a little shakey because of it.

We've already had a divorce in our class, I think someone mentioned that 60% of relationships fail in med school. After my first year, that stat is about accurate.

 

[vi edit]

Money certainly isn't the deciding factor on it, but it's something that you can at least put a tangible/objective value on in helping base a decision. It's hard to put a "value" on the amount of time a child spends with their parents. That's what is hard about it. One year would almost a total loss. The next several would almost be an improvement to be honest. And then it would dive again as residency wrapped up.

There's a few years that would be hell on our family. And a few that would actually be an improvement.

One big concern is her overall satisfaction and happiness. Which I can honestly are not that great right now. Would going back to school fix it? Don't know. Maybe the break from an intense job is what she needs for a few years. I don't really know.

The other elephant in the room is the outlook 20-25 years down the road that I have to admit does look pretty good. How many couples at 50-55 years old can say they have a house paid off, a million or more in the bank, one spouse retired, and the other working part time and still making $150,000+? At that point an extra shift a week every now and then covers any vacation we'd want or college expenses for the kids.

It's that 10 year stretch setting it up that I really just don't know how to digest and say "yeah, lets do this".

That's where some of my selfishness is being teased.

 

[Eug]

PhoKingGuy is being far too negative, but it's true that if she's assuming it will be a breeze for her, she's probably fooling herself.

She's way older than everyone else, and if it's a good school she has to remember that everyone in her class is smart. Some are smarter than others, but just about nobody is anb idiot (at least when it comes to booksmarts, which is usually what matters in the first couple of years of medical school).

To put it another way, my friend was top of the class in her undergraduate degree and quickly landed a nice corporate job, in which she did very well.

In med school she was average.