I know it can take 24 hours after installing the update for it to appear the first time (did that on a couple machines for me). Not sure about the reappearing part. Wait 24 hours and see if it pops up again or not. You have a year after all
My PC hasn't downloaded Win10 yet, but it is reserved.
You could always use the download tool to create a DVD or USB flash drive to install from. Then you can save it until you're ready to do it on your own time rather than whenever Microsoft feels like it.
You don't really need that icon to be eligible for an upgrade. I have done the upgrade to a newly built htpc without the icon, though with all the latest updates of course.
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