Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory
i have guy friends. they know better than to go beyond friendship. if the girl lets them know that in no uncertain terms and they remain friends then i don't see harm in having guy friends.Originally posted by: pontifex
Man, lots of guys losing their chicks to guy "friends" lately. many people have said that guys can't be friends with girls, that there's always an ulterior motive of getting into their pants.
so what do you think?
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory
Seconded.
Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.
Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.
I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.
Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.
Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Not if the chick is hot
Originally posted by: Eghck
I have plenty of girl friends, I met them as friends and after getting to know them, I just know it wouldn't work it.
Originally posted by: DaShen
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory
Seconded.
Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.
Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.
I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.
Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.
Then I agree. It is very hard for a girl to see past anything but a friendship once it gets to that point, but if you are secure/mature enough to be comfortable with that, then no worries.
The thing is that sometimes the girl does actually become interested later on (it just takes them a lot later and the circumstances have to be very unique, it has happened to me before, but by that time, I myself couldn't see anything beyond friendship really happening. <go figure> ). No big deal either way.
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory
Seconded.
Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.
Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.
I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.
Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.
Originally posted by: warbean
Only reason ladder theory is true is because the majority of people nowadays aren't mature (man) enough to handle talking to a girl without the motives being about physical stuff.
You are being unfair to men here.
Men biologically want to have sex, and lots of it. Women seek support and validation and approval through others.
Converse to your argument, I can say that most women aren't mature enough to talk with a man without the motives being purely emotional. (support, sympathy, empathy, understanding, shoulder to cry on, etc etc.)
Originally posted by: DougK62
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory
Seconded.
Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.
Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.
I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.
Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.
Hahahaah - your sentences in italics are REALLY lame. Too bad for you if you really feel that way...
Originally posted by: Mwilding
To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:
If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?
Originally posted by: DaShen
Originally posted by: Mwilding
To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:
If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?
Nope, I would take her home and hold her head as she throws up in the toilet, then make sure she is okay. Then I would go home.
If you really care for someone, as a friend or even more than that, you wouldn't do manipulate them in that way.
Originally posted by: DaShen
Originally posted by: Mwilding
To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:
If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?
Nope, I would take her home and hold her head as she throws up in the toilet, then make sure she is okay. Then I would go home.
If you really care for someone, as a friend or even more than that, you wouldn't do manipulate them in that way.