with all the yagts lately

[nsx98]

yep, i've seen it happen folks!

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Not if the chick is hot

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory

Seconded.

Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.


Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.

I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.

Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: pontifex
Man, lots of guys losing their chicks to guy "friends" lately. many people have said that guys can't be friends with girls, that there's always an ulterior motive of getting into their pants.

so what do you think?

i have guy friends. they know better than to go beyond friendship. if the girl lets them know that in no uncertain terms and they remain friends then i don't see harm in having guy friends.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel

Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory

Seconded.

Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.


Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.

I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.

Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.

Then I agree. It is very hard for a girl to see past anything but a friendship once it gets to that point, but if you are secure/mature enough to be comfortable with that, then no worries.

The thing is that sometimes the girl does actually become interested later on (it just takes them a lot later and the circumstances have to be very unique, it has happened to me before, but by that time, I myself couldn't see anything beyond friendship really happening. <go figure> ). No big deal either way.

 

[SoftwareEng]

God, I hope a girl CAN'T have guy friends, so I'll end up dating this girl instead of being her buddy

 

[frankgomez75]

Originally posted by: GrantMeThePower
Not if the chick is hot

Pretty much.

As long as they don't find each other attractive than maybe you can be friends. See, in the right circumstances friends can have too much to drink and well have one thing lead to another. It might be a mistake and something one or the other regrets, but still its risky.

My girl has a couple guy friends I've met, but they are:

1) Gay
2) Married
3) Not attractive looking (or better looking than me )
4) Religious and righteous (devoted christian)

 

[CTweak]

Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory

You said it!! :thumbsup:

 

[Riverhound777]

I'd say the only way I would be friends with a hot chick and not want to bang her would be to have met her through my good guy friend who was dating her. I have been friends with many of my roommates GF and I would never do anythign with them even if they broke up (unless they really really pissed me of of course). I can't think of any other way to be friends with a hot chick and not want something more.

 

[Chiller2]

The ladder theory is a funny, scientific explanation of how men and women
are attracted to each other. It also covers such topics as why women
sometimes just want to be friends but men always want sex. It is based upon
many years of sociological field testing, and was first conceptualized in
1994 in Exeter, CA by Dallas Lynn with acknowledgements to Jared Whitson for
his role in formalizing the theory.

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

 

[Skunkwourk]

I have plenty of girl friends, I met them as friends and after getting to know them, I just know it wouldn't work it.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Eghck
I have plenty of girl friends, I met them as friends and after getting to know them, I just know it wouldn't work it.

Exactly :thumbsup:

It would be like dating your sister.

 

[archiloco]

possible though very rare

 

[mordantmonkey]

very rare. only girls i am friends with are either, A) girls i've already slept with (and might again) or B) girls i've never slept with but have no desire due to: unattractiveness, or lack of respect, i.e. too slutty for me.

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel

Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory

Seconded.

Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.


Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.

I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.

Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.

Then I agree. It is very hard for a girl to see past anything but a friendship once it gets to that point, but if you are secure/mature enough to be comfortable with that, then no worries.

The thing is that sometimes the girl does actually become interested later on (it just takes them a lot later and the circumstances have to be very unique, it has happened to me before, but by that time, I myself couldn't see anything beyond friendship really happening. <go figure> ). No big deal either way.

I don't think we disagree. I have plenty of female friends, most of whom are attractive. Honestly, I would mind getting drunk one night and fvcking the ****** out of all of them. Doesn't mean I want a relationship...just means I would bone them in a certain situation. After all, I only have 1 ladder.

 

[warbean]

No

www.intellectualwhores.com

Read it, learn it, live it.

 

[warbean]

Only reason ladder theory is true is because the majority of people nowadays aren't mature (man) enough to handle talking to a girl without the motives being about physical stuff.[/quote]

You are being unfair to men here.

Men biologically want to have sex, and lots of it. Women seek support and validation and approval through others.

Converse to your argument, I can say that most women aren't mature enough to talk with a man without the motives being purely emotional. (support, sympathy, empathy, understanding, shoulder to cry on, etc etc.)

 

[DougK62]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel

Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory

Seconded.

Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.


Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.

I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.

Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.

Hahahaah - your sentences in italics are REALLY lame. Too bad for you if you really feel that way...

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: warbean

Only reason ladder theory is true is because the majority of people nowadays aren't mature (man) enough to handle talking to a girl without the motives being about physical stuff.

You are being unfair to men here.

Men biologically want to have sex, and lots of it. Women seek support and validation and approval through others.

Converse to your argument, I can say that most women aren't mature enough to talk with a man without the motives being purely emotional. (support, sympathy, empathy, understanding, shoulder to cry on, etc etc.)

Ummmm, BTW, girls want sex, too... they are sexual (biological) creatures just like us. They just don't talk about it as much. And sure there is more hormonal emotions tied to relationships by them, but you generalize them too much. And yes, guys want sex, too, but mature guys can see that long term, screwing any/every girl will only lead to trouble down the road. (BTW a girl who dates a guy who has been sexually active increases her risk of cervical cancer 10X) Insecure/Immature guys will idolize sex as the end all (goal) of everything, and they will be pretty disappointed when it comes down to it. Most of the married people I know, who have survived more than 3 years of marriage aren't married to supermodel nymphos. Rather marriage is more of a struggle, and a real struggle, to put someone else's needs before your own.

Friendships can be even more rewarding than relationships in a lot of ways.

There is a proper place and time for everything though, IMO.

 

[GasX]

To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:

If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?

 

[CKent]

Any guy who's "friends" with a woman is either gay or trying to get in her pants despite her S/O's wishes. Since women are prone to changing their mind and are genetically programmed to play the field to give their offspring the best genetics, this often happens.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: DougK62

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel

Originally posted by: JS80
two words: ladder theory

Seconded.

Only have two real good gal-pals. Both are very attractive. Both are ex-girlfriends of my close friends. After they broke up with my buddies, I guess I thought the whole idea of dating would get very uncomfortable. Once you are in friends territory, you better not have any stupid ideas of 'crossing over'. Of course, they are very attractive and I have had crushes on them and sometimes we do the 'I love you man" thing...but nah, there's no spark.


Finding friendship in love is extremely important.
Finding love in a great friendship is not a good idea.

I hope I'm not the only one to whom that makes sense.

Edit: DaShen, maybe I interpreted the ladder theory a little different from you (or JS80). My short version is the two italicized sentences above. I know the original one is a little crude in its reduction of everything male-female to raw sexual instinct.

Hahahaah - your sentences in italics are REALLY lame. Too bad for you if you really feel that way...

unless i'm reading it wrong or don't understand it, i don't see whats wrong with the 1st one. the 2nd one could be a bit iffy.

why wouldn't you want your SO to be your best friend also?

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:

If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?

Nope, I would take her home and hold her head as she throws up in the toilet, then make sure she is okay. Then I would go home.

If you really care for someone, as a friend or even more than that, you wouldn't do manipulate them in that way.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Mwilding
To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:

If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?

Nope, I would take her home and hold her head as she throws up in the toilet, then make sure she is okay. Then I would go home.

If you really care for someone, as a friend or even more than that, you wouldn't do manipulate them in that way.

i think he means if you both got really drunk, or if just you got really drunk, not the girl.

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: Mwilding
To every guy out there who says he has close friendships with a girl:

If you got really drunk and she came on to you, would you bang her?

Nope, I would take her home and hold her head as she throws up in the toilet, then make sure she is okay. Then I would go home.

If you really care for someone, as a friend or even more than that, you wouldn't do manipulate them in that way.

so if you both got drunk she starts unzipping your pants and starts giving you a bj, you would stop her?