Worst way to wake up...

[jonessoda]

First, wake up to one of the most painful charley horses you've ever had.

Spring to your feet to try to take care of it.

Open your bedroom door to try to help walk it of.

Take two steps, then pretty much faint from orthostatic hypotension because you've been laying in bed asleep for the past nine hours.

Notice that through some primal response, you seem to have screamed and now seem to be moaning, though everything's black and you can't move.

Wake up again to feel your face and knee on fire and notice you seem to be starting to pee yourself.

Limp into the bathroom to pee in the toilet.

As you are peeing, look in the mirror and realize you have three scrapes on your face. Look down and see blood running all the way down your leg. Realize you have no idea how that wound happened, since carpet shouldn't cut that deep.

Finally, remember that you are living with a couple of your good friends, who probably heard your screams, and while they don't seem to be coming to your aid, wonder how you're going to explain your face and the screams when they wake up, especially since you don't 100% remember if you were actually screaming.

At least it's effective. Better than coffee.

 

[XJustMeX21]

Same thing happened to me about a month ago, passed out hit my head on the toilet seat fell back and hit my back on the bathtub.
My Girl came running into the room to ask me if i was alright. Funny thing is i don't even remember going in the bathroom.

Nothing like having to deal with everyone at work asking what happened to my face.

All this from a leg cramp.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Can I introduce you guys to my good friend, Mr Potassium?

 

[jjzelinski]

LOL jesus guy, that's NOT normal! I'm sure you're aware of that, but the way in which you wrote the post suggests otherwise

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

It could be worse, you could really be on fire.

 

[MrPickins]

I fainted from a head rush like that once. Hopped up off a bean bag chair to answer the door, when next thing I know I was laying in the entryway with my sister opening the door into me.

I had collapsed straight downwards, and only my chin hitting a table slowed me down. I woke up bleeding profusely from where my tongue had gotten bitten into.

 

[Jeff7]

Another one of nature's sick jokes: Make humans the only things capable of walking upright, but OOPS, forgot to ensure that there's a steady supply of blood to the brain when the body's reconfiguring itself for upright travel.

 

[LS20]

some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: LS20
some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

That's a situation where use of an assault rifle could be ruled as justifiable homicide.

 

[xanis]

Originally posted by: Kadarin

Originally posted by: LS20
some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

That's a situation where use of an assault rifle could be ruled as justifiable homicide.

:thumbsup:

 

[K1052]

Originally posted by: Kadarin

Originally posted by: LS20
some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

That's a situation where use of an assault rifle could be ruled as justifiable homicide.

There is a guy here who has what must be a train horn mounted to his pickup. He feels the need to use it every time he enters or leaves the parking lot.

I was thinking of using one of these to remedy the situation.

 

[xanis]

Originally posted by: K1052

Originally posted by: Kadarin

Originally posted by: LS20
some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

That's a situation where use of an assault rifle could be ruled as justifiable homicide.

There is a guy here who has what must be a train horn mounted to his pickup. He feels the need to use it every time he enters or leaves the parking lot.

I was thinking of using one of these to remedy the situation.

That should do the trick.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: K1052

Originally posted by: Kadarin

Originally posted by: LS20
some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

That's a situation where use of an assault rifle could be ruled as justifiable homicide.

There is a guy here who has what must be a train horn mounted to his pickup. He feels the need to use it every time he enters or leaves the parking lot.

I was thinking of using one of these to remedy the situation.

Gorillas use branches to help them make lots of noise so that they can appear to be crazy badasses. This is what happens when that instinct is coupled with technology.

 

[daveymark]

you need to eat bananas

 

[RGN]

Not normal man, not normal at all.

 

[TLfromAI]

Originally posted by: XJustMeX21
Same thing happened to me about a month ago, passed out hit my head on the toilet seat fell back and hit my back on the bathtub.
My Girl came running into the room to ask me if i was alright. Funny thing is i don't even remember going in the bathroom.

Nothing like having to deal with everyone at work asking what happened to my face.

All this from a leg cramp.

That's when you came up with the flux capacitor?

 

[jjzelinski]

Originally posted by: TLfromAI

Originally posted by: XJustMeX21
Same thing happened to me about a month ago, passed out hit my head on the toilet seat fell back and hit my back on the bathtub.
My Girl came running into the room to ask me if i was alright. Funny thing is i don't even remember going in the bathroom.

Nothing like having to deal with everyone at work asking what happened to my face.

All this from a leg cramp.

That's when you came up with the flux capacitor?

lol :thumbsup:

 

[edro]

Pics?!

...of the carpet.

 

[XJustMeX21]

Originally posted by: TLfromAI

Originally posted by: XJustMeX21
Same thing happened to me about a month ago, passed out hit my head on the toilet seat fell back and hit my back on the bathtub.
My Girl came running into the room to ask me if i was alright. Funny thing is i don't even remember going in the bathroom.

Nothing like having to deal with everyone at work asking what happened to my face.

All this from a leg cramp.

That's when you came up with the flux capacitor?

:thumbsup:

 

[jonessoda]

Originally posted by: RGN
Not normal man, not normal at all.

The abnormality of the situation, believe it or not, is apparent to me.

So it turns out my housemates downstairs did hear me, and I did scream, starting with an expletive and ending more or less like I was being murdered. They thought I probably just stubbed my toe or something and went back to sleep. Good to know if somebody does break in and murders me, I can count on them to not panic.

 

[LordMorpheus]

The worst way I've ever woken up:

Woke up because my ear was itching. Reached to scratch it and got a handful of Houston Texas-sized cockroach instead.

Spasmed and threw it across the room, spent the next thirty minutes roach hunting.

Didn't sleep well for about a month, and I sitll don't suffer insects to be alive in my bedroom.

 

[jonessoda]

Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
The worst way I've ever woken up:

Woke up because my ear was itching. Reached to scratch it and got a handful of Houston Texas-sized cockroach instead.

Spasmed and threw it across the room, spent the next thirty minutes roach hunting.

Didn't sleep well for about a month, and I sitll don't suffer insects to be alive in my bedroom.

Actually, you might win there

 

[miketheidiot]

Originally posted by: LS20
some dick cheese has been honking his/her horn every 5 miuntes for about 3 minutve straight

am i the only one this statement doesn't make sense to?

 

[Goosemaster]

worst: get scared, cling your head up, bump yourself on something dangling (some shelves), then wake up hours later, with a mark on your face, and no idea why you can't seem to read the clock...

 

[Goosemaster]

also goign out drinking and forgetting to take out your contacts sucks pretty bad.....never again