Would It Be Healthy To Eat The Periodic Table? (Non-Radioactive)

[Gizmo j]

I take multivitamins+minerals, and was wondering if eating the periodic table would be healthy because they basically are minerals.

 

[WelshBloke]

Yeah. Lead, cadmium, arsenic, mercury...

What could go wrong? They are all natural!

 

[VirtualLarry]

Yeah. Lead, cadmium, arsenic, mercury...

What could go wrong? They are all natural!

OP, short answer, YOU ARE AN IDIOT IF YOU DO THIS, and NO, I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU DIE THAT WAY.

But, hey, if Darwin Awards are calling you... maybe this is your ticket to eternal internet greatness.

 

[WelshBloke]

Potassium is probably a bit fizzy on the tongue I'd imagine.

 

[BoomerD]

Sure...completely healthy...and don't let the radioactive elements scare you off...they're fine...although some might be a bit...bitter.

 

[Torn Mind]

Of course, you can become a mutant with superpowers or gain eternal life like Qin Shi Huang-di.

 

[ringtail]

To activate your meal, remember to swallow the "probiotic" of a glass of water from Fukushima, Japan...

 

[BoomerD]

To activate your meal, remember to swallow the "probiotic" of a glass of SPECIAL water from Fukushima, Japan...

it's gotta be the "special" stuff...not the ordinary water.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Lick every element every day. Start with 1 lick, then 2 etc. You will build up tolerance. Then you can just eat the whole thing in one go.

 

[SKORPI0]

 

[sdifox]

Lucite is practically non toxic so yeah go ahead and swallow that block of Lucite.

 

[IronWing]

If it's on the table, it's table salt.

 

[IronWing]

In all seriousness (weird for a Gizmo thread, to be sure), if you consume the elements in order of atomic number and in the form of more or less stable molecules, consume only stable isotopes, and don't over indulge, you could get down to Au without serious problems. Once you get to Th, things aren't so promising. If you have the beryllium sensitivity gene, you'll have problems almost immediately. If you're going for pure elemental forms, the Li will kill you before you get to Be.

 

[Paperdoc]

Another example of the super-simplistic concept: if it's natural, it must be safe, right? There are so MANY related questions to consider at the same time, like:

In what form? We almost never consume elements in their pure elemental form.

What dosage? Virtually EVERYTHING in this world is TOXIC in a high enough dose, or in the wrong form. Almost all things MAY be "harmless" in small enough doses. I say it that way because, as one of my profs said decades ago, you can NOT PROVE something is SAFE. You can only FAIL TO PROVE it does harm. Demanding proof of safety guarantees only that your demand will never be met.

 

[Pohemi]

I should have known it was a Gizmo thread by the title/topic.

 

[Torn Mind]

I should have known it was a Gizmo thread by the title/topic.

He hadn't been his usual self for his recent past threads. I mean, the music out of sync thread wasn't a bad subject, actually. Good to see him do something vintage.

 

[BoomerD]

Another example of the super-simplistic concept: if it's natural, it must be safe, right? There are so MANY related questions to consider at the same time, like:

In what form? We almost never consume elements in their pure elemental form.

What dosage? Virtually EVERYTHING in this world is TOXIC in a high enough dose, or in the wrong form. Almost all things MAY be "harmless" in small enough doses. I say it that way because, as one of my profs said decades ago, you can NOT PROVE something is SAFE. You can only FAIL TO PROVE it does harm. Demanding proof of safety guarantees only that your demand will never be met.

Watch iut for that nasty dihydrogen monoxide...that stuff kills thousands of people every year!

Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division - dihydrogen monoxide info

Dihydrogen Monoxide resources, information, research and more. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a dangerous chemical. Buy a Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide T-shirt.

dhmo.org

 

[zinfamous]

Fuck it. I've decided that 2023 is the year that I live my life like Gizmo J lives his.

 

[Roger Wilco]

Eating one atom of each element should be fairly harmless, no?

Gizmo just needs to figure out how to isolate those atoms and then combine them into a microscopic multivitamin.

 

[BoomerD]

Fuck it. I've decided that 2023 is the year that I live my life like Gizmo J lives his.

Just have your brain removed...write a note so you don't forget to get it reinstalled.

 

[bba-tcg]

I like mine with ketchup or Heinz 57.