Wow... my fiance is 23 and just got diagnosed with breast cancer...

[maziwanka]

wow. i really wish you and your fiance the best through this really tough time.

it sounds like you'll be a great support for her.

 

[OutHouse]

i feel your pain. i have two massage clients who have had both breast removed. they come to see me to help ease the pain in their pecs due to the expanders implanted under the pecs. every week they go in and get saline injected into the expanders as a prep for breast implants. you two have a long road ahead of you, it sounds like you have a strong loving relationship, with that you both will plow through this just fine.

 

[TravisT]

She is young and strong. As LegendKiller said, be there for her throughout this tough time. Give her a reason to continue fighting. She will be able to overcome this.

 

[Unheard]

Fsking cancer. I hope the best for her. Just keep your hopes high, and be with her as she'll need all the support she can get.

 

[PricklyPete]

Feel for you man...I wouldnt' be able to take it if my wife got breast cancer...let alone at such a young age.

 

[krunchykrome]

I hope everything works out for you and your fiance.

 

[Miramonti]

I'm very sorry, that must be scary. You both have all my best wishes, thoughts, and prayers for your future together.

 

[edro]

23... wow. At least she is young and should be able to fight it much better than if she was older.

Good luck.

 

[DaShen]

She is young and breast cancer is curable. Especially if caught in early stages. If caught early, radiation is an easy step. Radiation Oncology for Breast Cancer has been evolving with leaps and bounds in the last decade.

She probably won't even have to do Chemo or surgery if it is caught early enough. But I hope everything goes well. I have had too many relatives and friends go through this -- some just as young as your fiance. Just be there for her and I beleive things will work out.

**EDIT**

Oh wow.... a mastectomy?!!! Is it that serious? Maybe she should look into getting a few opinions before doing anything drastic. I hope everything turns out okay.

 

[Uppsala9496]

OP, you are in the Bay area?

Check out the US News and World Report "Best Hospitals 2006" list:
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/health/best-hospitals/rankings/specihqcanc.htm

The University of California, San Fransisco Medical Center is ranked #10. See if you can get an appointment there for a second opinion.

My mom was able to get in at the University of Chicago (#8) and had she not, her original doctor would have butchered her (and most likely she would not have survived past a year since she has metastatic cancer). She is currently in a clinical trial for herceptin and it is very promising.

I can't emphasis enough on getting a second opinion, preferably one from the top hospitals listed in the report. Your wife is very young for breast cancer, so she will be an ideal candidate for clinical trials if she so chooses to participate.

 

[Mxylplyx]

Me and my wife are in the midst of a scare like this now, though it's looking like she is going to be lucky. She's 26 and extremely healthy. She discovered she was bleeding from one of her nipples in the shower. Once she told me about it, I insisted she go to the OB/GYN ASAP, and then started reading about it. The things I read were pretty worrisome. Went to the OB appointment where she had a breast exam....found a palpable mass. Sent us down to radiology. Things I read about bleeding nipple combined with a palpable mass were sometimes up to 60% for malignant cancer. Radiologist has reported back that there is no suspicion of cancer, thank god, but she still has to see a breast specialist, and likely have a needle biopsy. I believe it's just a formality, since the radiologist report is over 90% accurate, but I still worry about it.

While I was reading about this, I stumbled on to a Q&A website where people can submit questions to doctors and have them answered. One woman with the exact same symptoms, combined with a family history, asked a doctor what she should do, because she had no health insurance, and couldnt afford a mammogram. My opinion about universal healthcare changed right then, and I am mostly conservative. No woman should have to go through this, and have no means to have their symptoms diagnosed.

My prayers for you and your girlfriend. Know that breast cancer is extremely curable if caught early, or if it is still in-situ. While reading around, you'll find that various studies have her chance of recurrance fairly high, but that is only because she is younger and has much longer to live, combined with the overall 1 in 8 chance that a woman will get breast cancer at some point. With the strides they are making with cancer treatments, I think she will live a long and healthy life.

 

[LegendKiller]

Originally posted by: LivinLaVivaPollo

Originally posted by: LegendKiller
My wife was diagnosed with cancer at 25, a few months before we were married. We had been together for 7 years.

If you want my advice...find the best doctor she can get that's in your network. Be there for every appointment, every doctors visit, every diagnosis. Commit yourself to the whole time she is in the hospital. Bring her flowers to keep her happy and cry with her when she does. Never forget that she needs strength, not inter-family fights or monetary problems.

Never let her think you'll not be there for her and never despair when she is around. She will live, she will survive, and she will thrive.

How long has she survived so far? Did the cancer completely go through remission? Any relapses? Did she have a mastectomy? Or lumpectomy? Did she go through chemo? Did it make her sterile?

I really wanted to have kids with my fiance... we were going to start trying to conceive in two or three years... now we don't know if the chemo will make her sterile... though I hear they can save the eggs and go through in vitro.

Sorry I haven't responded until now, I forgot to check back.

Fortunately for us my wife was diagnosed with a somewhat aggressive form of Thyroid cancer, which, while scary, is probably one of the most curable forms. Of course, when you find out this type of stuff you start doing "what ifs" and webmd becomes an evil thing, because you start taking worst case scenarios. I was afraid hers had spread to the lymph nodes, or worse.

It turned out that it was localized to the thyroid, she had 3 foci which were pretty large, resulting in a medium-large dose of radiated iodine to kill the rest of the thyroid cells left.

I can somewhat understand your pain, fears, and concerns, but your situation is different and I acknowledge that. If, at any time, you need some help please let me know.

One suggestion is to look at the best hospital possible. If your insurance covers Memorial Sloan Kettering, go there, it's the #1 hospital in the nation for cancer (many famous people go there). Even if it isn't in-network if you have good insurance you can qualify for out of network coverage, sometimes at 70-80%. You can also apply for wavers through your insurance to get the insurance company to consider the hospital in-network depending on the level of care available close to you.

My wife went to MSK and got the best surgeon possible. It wasn't in-network for Aetna, but she find a loophole and got in there, so our out of pocket expenses were a ~5k, instead of 40-50k.

Your next worry is that it's in NYC. That is completely true, but there is a network of companies that let an organization utilize unused seats on corporate charter planes. The network is called Corporate Angels. All you do is call them up, tell them your doctor, appointment time, and relevent information and they find a company flying into where you need to go. Usually you can get a shuttle into Manhattan.

Lucky for us AOL had a daily charter from Dulles ( we were living in Reston Virginia, 10mi away from Dulles) to a small regional airport in NJ. They then shuttled us to the AOL/Time Warner building in Columbus Circle, where we took taxis to MSK.

They take all of the worry out of travel and do everything they can to accomodate you. There are several hotels in that area that offer MSK discounts, they will come out to ~200/night, if not a bit less if you bargain with them.

If anything, getting a second opinion from the #1 cancer center is the best idea you can go with. My wife and I are going to check in with her doctor on June 5th, if you want I can squeeze in a side question about a good breast cancer doctor and maybe get you a name and contact and maybe some help.

Let me know.

 

[Koing]

Be strong and be there for her. You two will make it.

Koing

 

[dennilfloss]

You both will be in my prayers. Let's hope for full and final recovery.

 

[jman19]

Cancer isn't the end, it's the beginning - the beginning of a fight that she can win. Keep her spirits high and be with her through all of the hard times. You've fought hard to get where you are with her, so just keep fighting. Good luck, you guys will make it through this together.

 

[LivinLaVivaPollo]

Originally posted by: Mxylplyx
Me and my wife are in the midst of a scare like this now, though it's looking like she is going to be lucky. She's 26 and extremely healthy. She discovered she was bleeding from one of her nipples in the shower. Once she told me about it, I insisted she go to the OB/GYN ASAP, and then started reading about it. The things I read were pretty worrisome. Went to the OB appointment where she had a breast exam....found a palpable mass. Sent us down to radiology. Things I read about bleeding nipple combined with a palpable mass were sometimes up to 60% for malignant cancer. Radiologist has reported back that there is no suspicion of cancer, thank god, but she still has to see a breast specialist, and likely have a needle biopsy. I believe it's just a formality, since the radiologist report is over 90% accurate, but I still worry about it.

While I was reading about this, I stumbled on to a Q&A website where people can submit questions to doctors and have them answered. One woman with the exact same symptoms, combined with a family history, asked a doctor what she should do, because she had no health insurance, and couldnt afford a mammogram. My opinion about universal healthcare changed right then, and I am mostly conservative. No woman should have to go through this, and have no means to have their symptoms diagnosed.

My prayers for you and your girlfriend. Know that breast cancer is extremely curable if caught early, or if it is still in-situ. While reading around, you'll find that various studies have her chance of recurrance fairly high, but that is only because she is younger and has much longer to live, combined with the overall 1 in 8 chance that a woman will get breast cancer at some point. With the strides they are making with cancer treatments, I think she will live a long and healthy life.

Your story is actually fairly similar to mine. I found her lump, and had her go to see her OB/GYN. She referred her to the radiologist, for an ultrasound, which found a mass that everyone thought was fibroadenoma, which is very common for girls in their teens or early twenties. The radiologist, the nurse/tech, both thought it was nothing, and said so.

My fiance wanted to get it checked out more, and asked what else could be done.

They said, they could do a mammogram or go right to the needle biopsy. Because my fiance was on birth control at the time, she didn't want to risk the mammogram doing anything to the fetus if the birth control didn't work. So she decided to go right to the needle biopsy.

During the procedure, another tech/nurse said it looked like fibrodenoma, and questioned if they should go through with the process anyway. The radiologist said to just do it anyway and said it was probably nothing.

Two days later... malignant tumor.

So, don't listen to what anyone says. EVERY SINGLE one of my fiance's doctors prior to the pathological results said it was probably nothing. Take it as far as you can take the tests to be absolutely sure. Don't go off an ultrasound.

 

[LivinLaVivaPollo]

Originally posted by: DaShen
She is young and breast cancer is curable. Especially if caught in early stages. If caught early, radiation is an easy step. Radiation Oncology for Breast Cancer has been evolving with leaps and bounds in the last decade.

She probably won't even have to do Chemo or surgery if it is caught early enough. But I hope everything goes well. I have had too many relatives and friends go through this -- some just as young as your fiance. Just be there for her and I beleive things will work out.

**EDIT**

Oh wow.... a mastectomy?!!! Is it that serious? Maybe she should look into getting a few opinions before doing anything drastic. I hope everything turns out okay.

Well... she actually wants the mastectomy for peace of mind. She has a mixed lobe/duct type cancer which has a higher chance of recurring in other parts of the breast. She could always get a lumpectomy, and hope that it doesn't come back for ten years... that way she would at least have her breasts through her twenties.

Again, I completely support her decision one way or another. Although as a male, I'm very visually dominated and a part of me wants her to keep her breast, as her male counterpart, and her primary support system, I want her to do what she feels is the safest and most effective way of getting rid of the cancer.

The actual lump is fairly small, and if there are no positive lymph nodes, that puts her in Stage 1, which has a very high survival rate. The actual lump size is 1.5cm, which won't make much of a difference in her breast appearance if she gets the lumpectomy done, since she has fairly large breasts (32D).

 

[Aharami]

wow 23! but it looks like you have a good head on your shoulders and will be a good support for her. I agree with the other posters that you should get a second opinion from one of the top 5 hospitals if possible. Losing a breast will be devastating for a girl.

Best of luck and hang in there

 

[slsmnaz]

Having seen 2 women in my family go thru the same thing I feel for you. Stay supportive and I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[LivinLaVivaPollo]

Originally posted by: Aharami
wow 23! but it looks like you have a good head on your shoulders and will be a good support for her. I agree with the other posters that you should get a second opinion from one of the top 5 hospitals if possible. Losing a breast will be devastating for a girl.

Best of luck and hang in there

Well, she's actually not all that devastated by it. As a matter of fact, she is choosing to get the mastectomy, while the doctors are suggesting a lumpectomy. I don't think she understands the severity or magnitude of losing her breast, but I think she is trying to do what she feels is best for her.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: LivinLaVivaPollo

Originally posted by: Aharami
wow 23! but it looks like you have a good head on your shoulders and will be a good support for her. I agree with the other posters that you should get a second opinion from one of the top 5 hospitals if possible. Losing a breast will be devastating for a girl.

Best of luck and hang in there

Well, she's actually not all that devastated by it. As a matter of fact, she is choosing to get the mastectomy, while the doctors are suggesting a lumpectomy. I don't think she understands the severity or magnitude of losing her breast, but I think she is trying to do what she feels is best for her.

she can have that breast restored easily enough.