I found a GREAT Warlock guide:
Sauromon's Wicked Cool Undead Warlock Guide
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Hi, my name is Sauromon. That isn't my real name, but it is the name of my wicked cool Undead Warlock on World of Warcraft. I don't know what server I'm on. Really. I also belong to some Guild, but I don't remember what it is called.
Anyway, if you are like me (basically a lamer) the most important choice you have to make in any game is how wicked bad the character representing you looks, and having a cool name ripped off from a J.R.R. Tolkien character. In WoW (that's short for World of Warcraft) this character can only be Undead, which rules hands down on EVIL looking, being a rotted corpse skeleton looking dude. You could make a female Undead, but that seems rather pointless to me. You lose most of your sex appeal after you are dead, so you don't need to be female. If you want to be female, I suggest the Night Elf, which have the nicest racks, and sheer low-cut tops to wear.
After you have made the correct selection, you get to customize your Undead character to taste. I made mine as fugly as possible. Then you have to choose a good evil guy name. If you have little or no imagination, then you will do what I did and just steal a name from Lord of the Rings and modify it with a lack of spelling skill. I can't remember if Sauromon was a real LOTR guy. I know there was a Sauron, and then some other wizard guy, something like Sauromon. Ah, who cares. My name rocks.
OK, apparently you pick the server you want to be on. I don't recall ever doing this. I was probably pretty excited to see my new character start lopping off heads, so I just clicked everything real fast. I seem to be on a pretty good server though.
Oh wait, you also have to pick a class for your character, I should run those down for you:
Mage: OK, but not evil enough
Warrior: no cool spells
Rogue: a sneaky character for girls
Paladin: boring
um, I don't really remember the others, but they were all gay ...
WARLOCK: da bomb
So you are an Undead Warlock, the Ultimate!
Now you sign in and actually enter the game. It's pretty much downhill from here on out I'm afraid.
My UW (Undead Warlock) is level 12, and this took what seemed like about a hundred hours to reach. You start off in a tomb and come out to a town where a bunch of lazy people nag you to run errands for them, just like your parents did, or still do if you are still a punk kid living at home with endless hours to play games that didn't even exist when I had that kind of free time. Damn I *hate* you! I have to work.
If you actually have a job and stuff, this game sucks. You can summon a little imp sidekick after a while, but still, even with his help, you are just a weak knobby-kneed skeleton stealing produce and toting notes around like a FedEx guy who hated his job and then got sent to HELL where his punishment is to keep doing that same crappy job forever. Skeletons aren't fast either. You hobble all over the place, getting killed by everything, not lopping off many heads at all. To make it worse, some kid with a level 50 character cruises by on a dinosaur with his tricked out pimp looking character that is a million times cooler and more powerful than yours, and you realize that you are in World of Warcraft just exactly what you are in real life: a nobody.
I paid fifty bucks for this?
Look, when I get out of my cube and away from my Crypt-keeper looking weasel-breathed boss, the last thing I want to do is pop onto the computer to repeat my life in virtual reality. Is it too much to ask that I be allow to BUY a little respect, just as a little digital character in a computer game? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???
I guess. Because you won't be anywhere close to cool, much less wicked, and not ONE BIT wicked evil after the hours and hours and hours it takes to reach level 12, and that goes for ALL characters in WoW, not just the UW. I hope you are keeping up with my acronyms.
Of course, being a computer guru, I immediately thought: this sucks, time to cheat! Then I read that Blizzard is really serious about not letting people cheat. Apparently some people had the same idea as me: just automate all this boring stuff and come back when you are level 50 and elite. They were all banned.
I'm sure plenty of people cheat and get away with it, but knowing my luck, I would get banned and lose my $50 investment in having at least some fantasy dignity in life. I'm not going to risk it. Besides, those types of programs take a lot of work. I mean, it would still be a lot more fun than playing the actual game, which sucks, but if you just get banned after all of your hard work to cheat -- that would be depressing.
Well, good luck, and if you see a UW named Sauromon ... damn I wish I knew which server I was on ... well just give all UW's named Sauromon something good, because they are probably all getting pretty depressed.
Oh, and although this guide will not help you ever become a Wicked Cool Undead Warlock as advertised, I can tell you that they do exist, because one ran over me on his Wicked Cool Nightmare coming out of some crummy town where I had to deliver a message to some smelly Orc.
Sauromon -- member of some guild, plays on some server in the Eastern U.S.
:laugh: