YAGT: confused about a girl

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: SubZeroX

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: spidey07

hmmm could be A) she really likes you and gets nervous now B) she's somewhat offended that you have not made a move onn her yet and is migrating you over to the friend zone.

perfect!

bottomline.....eitherway....make a move next time you see her.

shit, she is sitting 1 seat away from me now in lecture! Damn it, I know I should've told her I liked her a long time ago, but I was too unsure and there were other "issues." I really don't have the confidence to do it right now considering the way she's been acting to me lately. Sigh...yes, I suck. ughhh.

just suck it up and plant a big on one her.

 

[ragazzo]

just don't walk up to her and ask, "what's your problem?"

 

[thirdlegstump]

Problem why she won't talk to you in person is because you're so damn FUGLY in real life.

 

[gigapet]

if you feel like youre moving towards the friends zone with her you could always try to 'lets just be friends' her first...you know beat her to it....this might make her feel dejected and she may work harder for your attention...

however I would personally try and escalate things physically first next time you see her.

You have a lot fo good options given here....dont spend too much time thinking about them go with your gut on which approach you think would be best....just steer clear of the 'i'm a wuss and we need to talk about this' approach

 

[SubZeroX]

what's wrong with the "I'm a wuss and we need to talk" approach?

 

[SP33Demon]

Originally posted by: gigapet
if you feel like youre moving towards the friends zone with her you could always try to 'lets just be friends' her first...you know beat her to it....this might make her feel dejected and she may work harder for your attention...

however I would personally try and escalate things physically first next time you see her.

You have a lot fo good options given here....dont spend too much time thinking about them go with your gut on which approach you think would be best....just steer clear of the 'i'm a wuss and we need to talk about this' approach

We need pics of your g/f before taking your advice.

But yes, I agree, just go with the flow. Play the friends card and take it from there...

 

[Ladiesnhan]

I too am pretty much in the same boat as you. I was introduced to this girl a few weeks ago from an acquaintance of mine when we went out clubbing. Well all in all we hit it off after a couple dates so I decided to ask her to be my gf. She sorta gave me a half arse rejection saying that "She doesn't go out with anyone that is friends with her cousin(The girl that introduced me to her)". So I questioned her logic about that and she couldn't give me a straight answer so then she gave me another reason "I'm not ready to date anyone I just broke up with my bf about a month ago after a 4 year relationship". I told her I could understand that but not the cousin thing so I took it as if she rejected me. So anyways I stopped talking with her and hanging out with her as much and now all of a sudden everyday she calls me at lunch time and sends me pictures of her while I'm at work. I decided to play hard to get and said I've been going out with this chick I was introduced to from a friend (which did happen) and I think she starting getting jealous. She told me how she removed all the guys from her buddy list except for me and how I should find a girl. Now I'm not sure if she has started taking an interest in me or is she just being a good friend.

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: SubZeroX
what's wrong with the "I'm a wuss and we need to talk" approach?

its great if you want to only be her friend.....if you like her and want some sort of romantic chance.....then that approach would make you look like a needy pu$$y and girls certainly dont find that attractive.....this isnt obvious to you by now?

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
I too am pretty much in the same boat as you. I was introduced to this girl a few weeks ago from an acquaintance of mine when we went out clubbing. Well all in all we hit it off after a couple dates so I decided to ask her to be my gf. She sorta gave me a half arse rejection saying that "She doesn't go out with anyone that is friends with her cousin(The girl that introduced me to her)". So I questioned her logic about that and she couldn't give me a straight answer so then she gave me another reason "I'm not ready to date anyone I just broke up with my bf about a month ago after a 4 year relationship". I told her I could understand that but not the cousin thing so I took it as if she rejected me. So anyways I stopped talking with her and hanging out with her as much and now all of a sudden everyday she calls me at lunch time and sends me pictures of her while I'm at work. I decided to play hard to get and said I've been going out with this chick I was introduced to from a friend (which did happen) and I think she starting getting jealous. She told me how she removed all the guys from her buddy list except for me and how I should find a girl. Now I'm not sure if she has started taking an interest in me or is she just being a good friend.

She really did probably NOT want to get into another relationship. They CAN be restricting (if only psychologically), and may not be much of a reflection on her feelings for you. Now that you have brought the subject out into the open and she has had time to adjust to the idea, she may be warming up to it. I personally think playing hard to get and other games are a waste of time - if you still like the girl, just start dating again. If she is receptive you are back where you started. If she again declines to commit, I would then stop wasting my time. Oh and the part about the cousin is probably just an easy BS excuse for her not really knowing what she wanted at the time.


It sounds like you are in a much better position than the OP though.

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
I too am pretty much in the same boat as you. I was introduced to this girl a few weeks ago from an acquaintance of mine when we went out clubbing. Well all in all we hit it off after a couple dates so I decided to ask her to be my gf. She sorta gave me a half arse rejection saying that "She doesn't go out with anyone that is friends with her cousin(The girl that introduced me to her)". So I questioned her logic about that and she couldn't give me a straight answer so then she gave me another reason "I'm not ready to date anyone I just broke up with my bf about a month ago after a 4 year relationship". I told her I could understand that but not the cousin thing so I took it as if she rejected me. So anyways I stopped talking with her and hanging out with her as much and now all of a sudden everyday she calls me at lunch time and sends me pictures of her while I'm at work. I decided to play hard to get and said I've been going out with this chick I was introduced to from a friend (which did happen) and I think she starting getting jealous. She told me how she removed all the guys from her buddy list except for me and how I should find a girl. Now I'm not sure if she has started taking an interest in me or is she just being a good friend.

yeah that probably was your vital mistake...asking her to be your gf.....VERY NEEDY AND WUSSY THING TO DO! Yes it would seem that a girl would want this but remember they are NOT logical....this sort of thing scares them off. Girls are much more likely to become involved romantically with someone after they have slept iwth them....your problem is you wanted a relationship but you didnt bang her yet!

GOOD NEWS!

you did the right thing! You backed off and are creating jealous tension between you. VERY GOOD! Keep playing on this until she brings up you two hanging out. Tell her you'll pick her up then take her somewhere fun. Dont mention anything about being together, keep saying how much you like being her friend. This should make her desire for you increase exponentially. From there just escalate physically and hook up. Once you hook up its much easier to roll that into a real relationship.....doesnt make sense but its true.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: SubZeroX
what's wrong with the "I'm a wuss and we need to talk" approach?

its great if you want to only be her friend.....if you like her and want some sort of romantic chance.....then that approach would make you look like a needy pu$$y and girls certainly dont find that attractive.....this isnt obvious to you by now?

girls arent attracted to emotionally needy guys. thats why its bad to be all overly sensitive (even though this is something they do appreciate once in a relationship), and this is a major contibuting factor to the deacon effect.

 

[Ladiesnhan]

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
I too am pretty much in the same boat as you. I was introduced to this girl a few weeks ago from an acquaintance of mine when we went out clubbing. Well all in all we hit it off after a couple dates so I decided to ask her to be my gf. She sorta gave me a half arse rejection saying that "She doesn't go out with anyone that is friends with her cousin(The girl that introduced me to her)". So I questioned her logic about that and she couldn't give me a straight answer so then she gave me another reason "I'm not ready to date anyone I just broke up with my bf about a month ago after a 4 year relationship". I told her I could understand that but not the cousin thing so I took it as if she rejected me. So anyways I stopped talking with her and hanging out with her as much and now all of a sudden everyday she calls me at lunch time and sends me pictures of her while I'm at work. I decided to play hard to get and said I've been going out with this chick I was introduced to from a friend (which did happen) and I think she starting getting jealous. She told me how she removed all the guys from her buddy list except for me and how I should find a girl. Now I'm not sure if she has started taking an interest in me or is she just being a good friend.

She really did probably NOT want to get into another relationship. They CAN be restricting (if only psychologically), and may not be much of a reflection on her feelings for you. Now that you have brought the subject out into the open and she has had time to adjust to the idea, she may be warming up to it. I personally think playing hard to get and other games are a waste of time - if you still like the girl, just start dating again. If she is receptive you are back where you started. If she again declines to commit, I would then stop wasting my time. Oh and the part about the cousin is probably just an easy BS excuse for her not really knowing what she wanted at the time.


It sounds like you are in a much better position than the OP though.

I also forgot to mention that she told me she is meeting a guy she met online that is flying up from Florida on Monday. (I live in Virginia) Not sure if it's true or if she is just doing that to get back at me for going out with the other girl that my friend introduced me to.

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: SP33Demon

Originally posted by: gigapet
if you feel like youre moving towards the friends zone with her you could always try to 'lets just be friends' her first...you know beat her to it....this might make her feel dejected and she may work harder for your attention...

however I would personally try and escalate things physically first next time you see her.

You have a lot fo good options given here....dont spend too much time thinking about them go with your gut on which approach you think would be best....just steer clear of the 'i'm a wuss and we need to talk about this' approach

We need pics of your g/f before taking your advice.

But yes, I agree, just go with the flow. Play the friends card and take it from there...

I admit i dont have a g/f I prefer being single much better!

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
I too am pretty much in the same boat as you. I was introduced to this girl a few weeks ago from an acquaintance of mine when we went out clubbing. Well all in all we hit it off after a couple dates so I decided to ask her to be my gf. She sorta gave me a half arse rejection saying that "She doesn't go out with anyone that is friends with her cousin(The girl that introduced me to her)". So I questioned her logic about that and she couldn't give me a straight answer so then she gave me another reason "I'm not ready to date anyone I just broke up with my bf about a month ago after a 4 year relationship". I told her I could understand that but not the cousin thing so I took it as if she rejected me. So anyways I stopped talking with her and hanging out with her as much and now all of a sudden everyday she calls me at lunch time and sends me pictures of her while I'm at work. I decided to play hard to get and said I've been going out with this chick I was introduced to from a friend (which did happen) and I think she starting getting jealous. She told me how she removed all the guys from her buddy list except for me and how I should find a girl. Now I'm not sure if she has started taking an interest in me or is she just being a good friend.

She really did probably NOT want to get into another relationship. They CAN be restricting (if only psychologically), and may not be much of a reflection on her feelings for you. Now that you have brought the subject out into the open and she has had time to adjust to the idea, she may be warming up to it. I personally think playing hard to get and other games are a waste of time - if you still like the girl, just start dating again. If she is receptive you are back where you started. If she again declines to commit, I would then stop wasting my time. Oh and the part about the cousin is probably just an easy BS excuse for her not really knowing what she wanted at the time.


It sounds like you are in a much better position than the OP though.

I also forgot to mention that she told me she is meeting a guy she met online that is flying up from Florida on Monday. (I live in Virginia) Not sure if it's true or if she is just doing that to get back at me for going out with the other girl that my friend introduced me to.

ask for a picture of him ...then tell her how cute of a couple they would be....should piss her off that she isnt making you jealous.

 

[Ladiesnhan]

Haha good idea. I think I will do that. Oh and before you guys ask for a pic I'll go ahead and post right now. Pic of her and I I'll post more later if there is anymore requests.


Edit: Pic was taken the first night I met her at the club with her cousin.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
I too am pretty much in the same boat as you. I was introduced to this girl a few weeks ago from an acquaintance of mine when we went out clubbing. Well all in all we hit it off after a couple dates so I decided to ask her to be my gf. She sorta gave me a half arse rejection saying that "She doesn't go out with anyone that is friends with her cousin(The girl that introduced me to her)". So I questioned her logic about that and she couldn't give me a straight answer so then she gave me another reason "I'm not ready to date anyone I just broke up with my bf about a month ago after a 4 year relationship". I told her I could understand that but not the cousin thing so I took it as if she rejected me. So anyways I stopped talking with her and hanging out with her as much and now all of a sudden everyday she calls me at lunch time and sends me pictures of her while I'm at work. I decided to play hard to get and said I've been going out with this chick I was introduced to from a friend (which did happen) and I think she starting getting jealous. She told me how she removed all the guys from her buddy list except for me and how I should find a girl. Now I'm not sure if she has started taking an interest in me or is she just being a good friend.

She really did probably NOT want to get into another relationship. They CAN be restricting (if only psychologically), and may not be much of a reflection on her feelings for you. Now that you have brought the subject out into the open and she has had time to adjust to the idea, she may be warming up to it. I personally think playing hard to get and other games are a waste of time - if you still like the girl, just start dating again. If she is receptive you are back where you started. If she again declines to commit, I would then stop wasting my time. Oh and the part about the cousin is probably just an easy BS excuse for her not really knowing what she wanted at the time.


It sounds like you are in a much better position than the OP though.

I also forgot to mention that she told me she is meeting a guy she met online that is flying up from Florida on Monday. (I live in Virginia) Not sure if it's true or if she is just doing that to get back at me for going out with the other girl that my friend introduced me to.

This is why I dont play games. Too much drama/BS!

 

[gotsmack]

Originally posted by: SubZeroX
So this girl I know always ignores me or hardly talks to me when I see her, but when I call her, we always have a ton to stuff to talk about and and always last for a long time. I wonder what the hell the problem is when I see her.

Have you given any thought to the case where you may have BO and it offends her?

 

[PanzerIV]

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
Haha good idea. I think I will do that. Oh and before you guys ask for a pic I'll go ahead and post right now. Pic of her and I I'll post more later if there is anymore requests.


Edit: Pic was taken the first night I met her at the club with her cousin.

:thumbsup: Nice looking girl, Ladiesnhan.

Good luck to you and I hope things work out.

 

[johnjbruin]

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: SubZeroX
what's wrong with the "I'm a wuss and we need to talk" approach?

its great if you want to only be her friend.....if you like her and want some sort of romantic chance.....then that approach would make you look like a needy pu$$y and girls certainly dont find that attractive.....this isnt obvious to you by now?

girls arent attracted to emotionally needy guys. thats why its bad to be all overly sensitive (even though this is something they do appreciate once in a relationship), and this is a major contibuting factor to the deacon effect.

deacon effect - i had never heard of it termed that - so i googled and read about it - and just wow

 

[Ladiesnhan]

Originally posted by: PanzerIV

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
Haha good idea. I think I will do that. Oh and before you guys ask for a pic I'll go ahead and post right now. Pic of her and I I'll post more later if there is anymore requests.


Edit: Pic was taken the first night I met her at the club with her cousin.

:thumbsup: Nice looking girl, Ladiesnhan.

Good luck to you and I hope things work out.

Thanks. I know she's a catch that's why I want her to be mine LOL.

 

[boyRacer]

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
Haha good idea. I think I will do that. Oh and before you guys ask for a pic I'll go ahead and post right now. Pic of her and I I'll post more later if there is anymore requests.


Edit: Pic was taken the first night I met her at the club with her cousin.

:thumbsup:

Ok i'll bite. More pics please.

 

[Ladiesnhan]

Originally posted by: bR

Originally posted by: Ladiesnhan
Haha good idea. I think I will do that. Oh and before you guys ask for a pic I'll go ahead and post right now. Pic of her and I I'll post more later if there is anymore requests.


Edit: Pic was taken the first night I met her at the club with her cousin.

:thumbsup:

Ok i'll bite. More pics please.

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3

 

[Chrono]

You know what? Stop talking to her on the phone so much. Phone = Interest killer for her. Keep your telephone conversations short. If you want to talk to her, talk to her in person instead. Online is also another killer. DO NOT TELL HER YOU LIKE HER. What you want is to keep her interested by slowly giving her subtle hints. Telling her will just scare her. Always keep her guessing. You can do it. Be confident about yourself and approach her.

 

[SubZeroX]

what are some subtle hints? I'm not so good at this as you guys probably noticed.

 

[PunDogg]

it could be she is shy in person, or it could be that she doesn't want to be seen with you hehe

DOgg