Updates at the bottom of the OP
It?s been about 6 weeks now since I asked this girl to go with me. Everything seems to have been going fine during this time even though I don?t get to see her much. We mostly pass notes to each other and talk on the phone during the week and hang out on the weekends. She lives close by so that?s cool.
Anyway, my parents were out late last night attending a Christmas function where my dad works. They left the house a few minutes after 6:30 yesterday evening, so I had the house all to myself for most of the night. Well, my little brother was there too, but I was in charge. I called my gf to see if she wanted to come over for dinner and a movie. She called me back and said she could, but that she had to be home by 10:30. That was definitely cool to me so I told her to come by at 7:15. I had a few things to do to get ready and she lives close by, so I thought that was reasonable. I hung up with her and called Pizza Hut to order a medium pepperoni pizza and 10 boneless Cajun wings. After that, I nuked my brother some Ramen noodles. They?re easy to fix and he loves that crap. I told him that I had a friend coming over and I wanted him to stay in his room or he could go in my room and watch movies on my computer since me and my gf were going to be in the living room. While he was eating his noodles, I went and fixed myself up a little bit. I didn?t go overboard, just wet-combed my hair, added some deodorant, and put on my new Halo 2 t-shirt. I was getting kinda nervous so I listened to some mp3s while I was getting ready to help calm me down. That was pretty cool because I think it worked.
I was clearing the table of my brother?s noodle bowl and empty chocolate milk cup when I hear the door knocker. I told my brother to go turn my mp3s off and he could watch movies on my computer if he wanted. He left the room and I answered the door and it was my gf. I invited her in and offered her a drink. She wanted a Sprite so I got that for her and we sat on the couch. At this point I was a little rattled because she showed up a few minutes early and the pizza hadn?t shown up yet. So I turn the tv on and turn it to The Biggest Loser, which is really a pretty inspiring show. She asked where my parents were and I told her that they were at a Christmas party, but it was cool with them if she was there while they were gone. We talked about classes, teachers, and friends while we were watching tv when the pizza and wings showed up. I paid the delivery guy in cash and asked my gf if she was ready to eat. We went to the dining table to eat and that?s when I hit the first speed bump. She doesn?t particularly care for pepperoni and I hadn?t thought to ask her when I invited her over. I picked the pepperoni off of her slice for her and we started eating. She was cool about it and didn?t show any signs of being upset and even ate the pepperoni on the other slices she had. The wings were kind of spicy-hot, but we ate some of those, too.
We got done and went back to the living room so we could watch a movie. I excused myself so that I could go get the movie from my room and some Altoids because I?m pretty sure the wings made my breath not-so-fresh. I took both back to the living room and told her she could have some Altoids if she wants and popped Titanic into the dvd player. I sat down next to her on the couch and put my arm around her. I could tell she was cool with it because she would smile at me every time I looked at her. We?d held hands before so this wasn?t such a big deal, but you never know. Anyway, we?d been watching the movie for quite a while when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. While she was gone, I laid over on the couch. When she came back I started to get up and she said that I didn?t need to get up and she laid on the couch in front of me with her back to me so that we were cuddling. That was really cool because we hadn?t done that yet. The only part that sucked about it was that I had to breathe through my mouth because my nose was stopped up and I kept breathing her hair into my mouth. I hate getting hair in my mouth, but I figured it was worth it in this case.
THIS IS WHERE IT BEGAN GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET. We were lying there cuddling when I feel my weenie start to twitch. I?m thinking to myself that this is going to get ugly. I can just imagine getting full wood and embarrassing myself because I don?t have enough room to back away from her so that she doesn?t feel it pressing up against her butt. I quickly hopped up and asked her if she wanted anything to drink. She said no so I went to fix myself something mainly to give my parts some time to settle down. After everything was cool, I went back to the couch and she was sitting up again so I sat down next to the end of the couch. She asked if everything was ok and I told her yes, I just needed to sit up to help my nose clear up. I had so many thoughts going through my head during the rest of the movie that I don?t really remember what happened. It was all a blur. She had to leave before the movie ended because it was almost 10:30 and she had to get home. After she left, I went to my room where my little brother was still on my computer. He threatened to tell my parents that my gf was in our house while they were gone if I don?t pay him $5 to keep quiet. We aren?t supposed to have anyone in the house when they?re not there. There?s not much I could do so I paid the little bastard $5.
Here?s my question, what can I do to prevent the same thing from happening again when the situation arises? I know some of you will suggest thinking about some old wrinkled granny to keep me limp, but I think that would kill the mood as much as the embarrassment of popping wood against my gf?s butt. Any help for me here? Also, does anyone have any ideas on how I can get out of paying my little brother to keep his mouth shut next time? Thanks for the help.
Cliff Notes(Edited for Kranky):
1. Parents left for the night
2. Invited gf over to the house
3. Eat pizza and wings
4. Watch movie
5. Start to get hard while cuddling
6. Rest of night shot to hell
7. Butthole little brother extorts hush money from me
8. Need FRIENDLY suggestions
9. GF is none the wiser, gonna try again ASAP
10. Gave it another try...SCORE!
Update:
This thing is growing too fast. I'm having a hard time keeping up with it, but I will try to answer some of the serious questions. Also, for you mean spirited people, I'm not cutting anything off, killing myself, or taping anything down.
A few asked about the Ramen noodles...why I have no idea. He only eats chicken flavored and it ranks up there with macaroni and cheese and McDonalds. About the only thing he drinks is chocolate milk, but sometimes he drinks Dr. Pepper. None of this makes him any less of an ass.
I don't think my age is an issue. It isn't like you haven't had a good laugh at my expense already.
I now know that spooning is teh good. :thumbsup:
No, I'm not retarded.
I don't think rubbing one out would do any good. It's not like that would stop me from thinking about her that way. I dunno, maybe as a last resort.
No pics at the moment. I may try to get one of her when it doesn't seem staged. "Hey baby, can I take a pic of you to post on the internet?" Uhh....nah.
Update #2 (12/16):
I guess I will forever be reminded of my spooning incident when I get my morning woody. I talked to my gf last night and she didn't act any different than before, so either she doesn't know what happened or doesn't mind. Either way, I'm taking it as a good sign. My main concern was that she would be freaked out or start acting weird around me. I want to give this spooning another try and I hope to do that soon, so I think I'm in the clear and will give it another shot when I get the chance. Next time, I won't hold back!
Update #3 HERE IT IS!!(12/20):
December 18, 2004, will go down in history as one of the best days of my life. It will be known as the day I achieved studliness.
Here?s how it all went down. My gf called me Saturday morning just to chat and stuff because she was home by herself. My gf?s dad owns a restaurant here in town so he?s gone pretty much all the time. Her mom had just left to go do more Christmas shopping and my gf has no brothers or sisters. Being the thinker that I am, I asked her how long her mom was gonna be gone. She thought that it would be a fairly long time because her mom told her that she would be going to one of the malls close to here, then head up to the restaurant for lunch, then go to another mall or outlet mall or some crap. I really don?t remember, but it?s not that important anyway. At that point, I casually asked her if she wanted me to come over so that we could just hang out and talk face to face. She said that was fine with her if I wanted to come over. I told her that I?d be over there after a while and hung up. I hauled @ss to get cleaned up so I could get over there ASAP. I shaved and showered, gelled the hair and eyebrows, and got dressed. I didn?t wear my Halo 2 t-shirt this time cuz I caught so much sh!t over that in my first post. This time, I wore a Cisco t-shirt under a long-sleeve oxford with button down collar. It?s a pretty cool Hilfiger shirt with four different types of plaid panels combined in one shirt. It looks really cool and brings out the color in my eyes. After I applied some Tommy cologne, I snuck into my parents? room and stole a rubber from my dad?s sock drawer then went to my room and grabbed my mp3 mix cd and headed out the door. I had to keep myself from running all the way to her house like I wanted to do because I didn?t want to show up all sweaty and winded.
I rang the doorbell and she opened the door and invited me in. She offered me a drink so I took a Coke. We chatted for a little bit while sitting in her living room and watching Ghost on TV. It was at that part of the movie where Demi kisses the ghost and I said ?I could go for some of that right about now.? She said, ?Go for What?? and I said, ?Some of that lip lovin?.? She leaned in and we started lip locking for a while. Once we stopped, I told her that I brought an mp3 cd with me and we should go into her room to listen to it. She said ok, so we hopped up, I grabbed the cd, and we headed toward her room.
Once we got to her room, I handed her the cd and laid on the bed while she put the cd in the player and started it. I was lying on my side with my head propped up on my hand when she turned around and crawled up on the bed with me. She immediately rolled over and assumed the spooning position in front of me. Well, it wasn?t long before the inevitable happened again. This time, I kept myself from backing off. It was twitching and growing by the second when I leaned in and kissed her on the neck below her right ear. As I was leaned in and pressed against her, my weenie decided to make its presence known and did a hard twitch against her butt. There was no turning back at this point. I said ?Oops, sorry.? She said, ?About what?? and I said ?About that down there.? She said, ?You mean about this?? at about the same time she had reached around and grabbed my crotch through my jeans. That was completely unexpected. I said ?Oh sh!t!? in a high-pitched, but not uncool voice. She asked what was wrong and I told her nothing was wrong, but that I was taken by surprise. She asked if it was a good kind of surprise and I said ?Oh yea. I like those kinds of surprises.? We were making out while she was rubbing on my stuff and I was playing with her bewbies. She got up and said, ?Make yourself comfortable and I?ll be back in a minute? and winked at me, then turned and headed for the bathroom.
Things were starting to look really good for me. I jump off the bed and start stripping off my clothes. I left my socks on because she has hardwood floors and it?s kinda cold in her house. I jumped back on the bed and got under the covers. I pulled the covers up to my chin and waited. And waited. And waited some more. After eternity, she finally reappeared from the bathroom wearing a bathrobe and from what I could tell nothing underneath. The jeans that she had been wearing were not extending past the bottom of the robe. Things were starting to look even better for me. She crawled up on the bed and started kissing me again. She asked, ?Are you naked under there?? and I said ?Buck @ss naked.? She kinda chuckled and asked me if I had put my condom on. I told her no and asked how she knew I had one with me. She said she felt it in my pocket when she was rubbing on my crotchable area. I leaned over to where my jeans were lying on the floor and got the condom out of my pocket. She ?helped? me get it on. I?ll not go into detail about what happened next cuz this isn?t a pornographic story. Let?s just say that it was the most kick-@ss 45 seconds of my life.
Thanks to everyone that gave me the advice that made me confident enough to not run away this time. It has also made all of the ridicule I?ve received over my Halo 2 shirt and weenie twitches well worth it. J0hnny, if you read this, send me a pm and I?ll tell you how you can get some poon, too.
</Updates>
It's either lock this or move it to L&R. I opt for lock.
Sr Moderator allisolm
It?s been about 6 weeks now since I asked this girl to go with me. Everything seems to have been going fine during this time even though I don?t get to see her much. We mostly pass notes to each other and talk on the phone during the week and hang out on the weekends. She lives close by so that?s cool.
Anyway, my parents were out late last night attending a Christmas function where my dad works. They left the house a few minutes after 6:30 yesterday evening, so I had the house all to myself for most of the night. Well, my little brother was there too, but I was in charge. I called my gf to see if she wanted to come over for dinner and a movie. She called me back and said she could, but that she had to be home by 10:30. That was definitely cool to me so I told her to come by at 7:15. I had a few things to do to get ready and she lives close by, so I thought that was reasonable. I hung up with her and called Pizza Hut to order a medium pepperoni pizza and 10 boneless Cajun wings. After that, I nuked my brother some Ramen noodles. They?re easy to fix and he loves that crap. I told him that I had a friend coming over and I wanted him to stay in his room or he could go in my room and watch movies on my computer since me and my gf were going to be in the living room. While he was eating his noodles, I went and fixed myself up a little bit. I didn?t go overboard, just wet-combed my hair, added some deodorant, and put on my new Halo 2 t-shirt. I was getting kinda nervous so I listened to some mp3s while I was getting ready to help calm me down. That was pretty cool because I think it worked.
I was clearing the table of my brother?s noodle bowl and empty chocolate milk cup when I hear the door knocker. I told my brother to go turn my mp3s off and he could watch movies on my computer if he wanted. He left the room and I answered the door and it was my gf. I invited her in and offered her a drink. She wanted a Sprite so I got that for her and we sat on the couch. At this point I was a little rattled because she showed up a few minutes early and the pizza hadn?t shown up yet. So I turn the tv on and turn it to The Biggest Loser, which is really a pretty inspiring show. She asked where my parents were and I told her that they were at a Christmas party, but it was cool with them if she was there while they were gone. We talked about classes, teachers, and friends while we were watching tv when the pizza and wings showed up. I paid the delivery guy in cash and asked my gf if she was ready to eat. We went to the dining table to eat and that?s when I hit the first speed bump. She doesn?t particularly care for pepperoni and I hadn?t thought to ask her when I invited her over. I picked the pepperoni off of her slice for her and we started eating. She was cool about it and didn?t show any signs of being upset and even ate the pepperoni on the other slices she had. The wings were kind of spicy-hot, but we ate some of those, too.
We got done and went back to the living room so we could watch a movie. I excused myself so that I could go get the movie from my room and some Altoids because I?m pretty sure the wings made my breath not-so-fresh. I took both back to the living room and told her she could have some Altoids if she wants and popped Titanic into the dvd player. I sat down next to her on the couch and put my arm around her. I could tell she was cool with it because she would smile at me every time I looked at her. We?d held hands before so this wasn?t such a big deal, but you never know. Anyway, we?d been watching the movie for quite a while when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. While she was gone, I laid over on the couch. When she came back I started to get up and she said that I didn?t need to get up and she laid on the couch in front of me with her back to me so that we were cuddling. That was really cool because we hadn?t done that yet. The only part that sucked about it was that I had to breathe through my mouth because my nose was stopped up and I kept breathing her hair into my mouth. I hate getting hair in my mouth, but I figured it was worth it in this case.
THIS IS WHERE IT BEGAN GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET. We were lying there cuddling when I feel my weenie start to twitch. I?m thinking to myself that this is going to get ugly. I can just imagine getting full wood and embarrassing myself because I don?t have enough room to back away from her so that she doesn?t feel it pressing up against her butt. I quickly hopped up and asked her if she wanted anything to drink. She said no so I went to fix myself something mainly to give my parts some time to settle down. After everything was cool, I went back to the couch and she was sitting up again so I sat down next to the end of the couch. She asked if everything was ok and I told her yes, I just needed to sit up to help my nose clear up. I had so many thoughts going through my head during the rest of the movie that I don?t really remember what happened. It was all a blur. She had to leave before the movie ended because it was almost 10:30 and she had to get home. After she left, I went to my room where my little brother was still on my computer. He threatened to tell my parents that my gf was in our house while they were gone if I don?t pay him $5 to keep quiet. We aren?t supposed to have anyone in the house when they?re not there. There?s not much I could do so I paid the little bastard $5.
Here?s my question, what can I do to prevent the same thing from happening again when the situation arises? I know some of you will suggest thinking about some old wrinkled granny to keep me limp, but I think that would kill the mood as much as the embarrassment of popping wood against my gf?s butt. Any help for me here? Also, does anyone have any ideas on how I can get out of paying my little brother to keep his mouth shut next time? Thanks for the help.
Cliff Notes(Edited for Kranky):
1. Parents left for the night
2. Invited gf over to the house
3. Eat pizza and wings
4. Watch movie
5. Start to get hard while cuddling
6. Rest of night shot to hell
7. Butthole little brother extorts hush money from me
8. Need FRIENDLY suggestions
9. GF is none the wiser, gonna try again ASAP
10. Gave it another try...SCORE!
Update:
This thing is growing too fast. I'm having a hard time keeping up with it, but I will try to answer some of the serious questions. Also, for you mean spirited people, I'm not cutting anything off, killing myself, or taping anything down.
A few asked about the Ramen noodles...why I have no idea. He only eats chicken flavored and it ranks up there with macaroni and cheese and McDonalds. About the only thing he drinks is chocolate milk, but sometimes he drinks Dr. Pepper. None of this makes him any less of an ass.
I don't think my age is an issue. It isn't like you haven't had a good laugh at my expense already.
I now know that spooning is teh good. :thumbsup:
No, I'm not retarded.
I don't think rubbing one out would do any good. It's not like that would stop me from thinking about her that way. I dunno, maybe as a last resort.
No pics at the moment. I may try to get one of her when it doesn't seem staged. "Hey baby, can I take a pic of you to post on the internet?" Uhh....nah.
Update #2 (12/16):
I guess I will forever be reminded of my spooning incident when I get my morning woody. I talked to my gf last night and she didn't act any different than before, so either she doesn't know what happened or doesn't mind. Either way, I'm taking it as a good sign. My main concern was that she would be freaked out or start acting weird around me. I want to give this spooning another try and I hope to do that soon, so I think I'm in the clear and will give it another shot when I get the chance. Next time, I won't hold back!
Update #3 HERE IT IS!!(12/20):
December 18, 2004, will go down in history as one of the best days of my life. It will be known as the day I achieved studliness.
Here?s how it all went down. My gf called me Saturday morning just to chat and stuff because she was home by herself. My gf?s dad owns a restaurant here in town so he?s gone pretty much all the time. Her mom had just left to go do more Christmas shopping and my gf has no brothers or sisters. Being the thinker that I am, I asked her how long her mom was gonna be gone. She thought that it would be a fairly long time because her mom told her that she would be going to one of the malls close to here, then head up to the restaurant for lunch, then go to another mall or outlet mall or some crap. I really don?t remember, but it?s not that important anyway. At that point, I casually asked her if she wanted me to come over so that we could just hang out and talk face to face. She said that was fine with her if I wanted to come over. I told her that I?d be over there after a while and hung up. I hauled @ss to get cleaned up so I could get over there ASAP. I shaved and showered, gelled the hair and eyebrows, and got dressed. I didn?t wear my Halo 2 t-shirt this time cuz I caught so much sh!t over that in my first post. This time, I wore a Cisco t-shirt under a long-sleeve oxford with button down collar. It?s a pretty cool Hilfiger shirt with four different types of plaid panels combined in one shirt. It looks really cool and brings out the color in my eyes. After I applied some Tommy cologne, I snuck into my parents? room and stole a rubber from my dad?s sock drawer then went to my room and grabbed my mp3 mix cd and headed out the door. I had to keep myself from running all the way to her house like I wanted to do because I didn?t want to show up all sweaty and winded.
I rang the doorbell and she opened the door and invited me in. She offered me a drink so I took a Coke. We chatted for a little bit while sitting in her living room and watching Ghost on TV. It was at that part of the movie where Demi kisses the ghost and I said ?I could go for some of that right about now.? She said, ?Go for What?? and I said, ?Some of that lip lovin?.? She leaned in and we started lip locking for a while. Once we stopped, I told her that I brought an mp3 cd with me and we should go into her room to listen to it. She said ok, so we hopped up, I grabbed the cd, and we headed toward her room.
Once we got to her room, I handed her the cd and laid on the bed while she put the cd in the player and started it. I was lying on my side with my head propped up on my hand when she turned around and crawled up on the bed with me. She immediately rolled over and assumed the spooning position in front of me. Well, it wasn?t long before the inevitable happened again. This time, I kept myself from backing off. It was twitching and growing by the second when I leaned in and kissed her on the neck below her right ear. As I was leaned in and pressed against her, my weenie decided to make its presence known and did a hard twitch against her butt. There was no turning back at this point. I said ?Oops, sorry.? She said, ?About what?? and I said ?About that down there.? She said, ?You mean about this?? at about the same time she had reached around and grabbed my crotch through my jeans. That was completely unexpected. I said ?Oh sh!t!? in a high-pitched, but not uncool voice. She asked what was wrong and I told her nothing was wrong, but that I was taken by surprise. She asked if it was a good kind of surprise and I said ?Oh yea. I like those kinds of surprises.? We were making out while she was rubbing on my stuff and I was playing with her bewbies. She got up and said, ?Make yourself comfortable and I?ll be back in a minute? and winked at me, then turned and headed for the bathroom.
Things were starting to look really good for me. I jump off the bed and start stripping off my clothes. I left my socks on because she has hardwood floors and it?s kinda cold in her house. I jumped back on the bed and got under the covers. I pulled the covers up to my chin and waited. And waited. And waited some more. After eternity, she finally reappeared from the bathroom wearing a bathrobe and from what I could tell nothing underneath. The jeans that she had been wearing were not extending past the bottom of the robe. Things were starting to look even better for me. She crawled up on the bed and started kissing me again. She asked, ?Are you naked under there?? and I said ?Buck @ss naked.? She kinda chuckled and asked me if I had put my condom on. I told her no and asked how she knew I had one with me. She said she felt it in my pocket when she was rubbing on my crotchable area. I leaned over to where my jeans were lying on the floor and got the condom out of my pocket. She ?helped? me get it on. I?ll not go into detail about what happened next cuz this isn?t a pornographic story. Let?s just say that it was the most kick-@ss 45 seconds of my life.
Thanks to everyone that gave me the advice that made me confident enough to not run away this time. It has also made all of the ridicule I?ve received over my Halo 2 shirt and weenie twitches well worth it. J0hnny, if you read this, send me a pm and I?ll tell you how you can get some poon, too.
</Updates>
It's either lock this or move it to L&R. I opt for lock.
Sr Moderator allisolm
Last edited by a moderator: