Originally posted by: Preyhunter
Update:
This thing is growing too fast. I'm having a hard time keeping up with it, but I will try to answer some of the serious questions. Also, for you mean spirited people, I'm not cutting anything off, killing myself, or taping anything down.
A few asked about the Ramen noodles...why I have no idea. He only eats chicken flavored and it ranks up there with macaroni and cheese and McDonalds. About the only thing he drinks is chocolate milk, but sometimes he drinks Dr. Pepper. None of this makes him any less of an ass.
I don't think my age is an issue. It isn't like you haven't had a good laugh at my expense already.
I now know that spooning is teh good. :thumbsup:
No, I'm not retarded.
I don't think rubbing one out would do any good. It's not like that would stop me from thinking about her that way. I dunno, maybe as a last resort.
No pics at the moment. I may try to get one of her when it doesn't seem staged. "Hey baby, can I take a pic of you to post on the internet?" Uhh....nah.
</Update>
It?s been about 6 weeks now since I asked this girl to go with me. Everything seems to have been going fine during this time even though I don?t get to see her much. We mostly pass notes to each other and talk on the phone during the week and hang out on the weekends. She lives close by so that?s cool.
Anyway, my parents were out late last night attending a Christmas function where my dad works. They left the house a few minutes after 6:30 yesterday evening, so I had the house all to myself for most of the night. Well, my little brother was there too, but I was in charge. I called my gf to see if she wanted to come over for dinner and a movie. She called me back and said she could, but that she had to be home by 10:30. That was definitely cool to me so I told her to come by at 7:15. I had a few things to do to get ready and she lives close by, so I thought that was reasonable. I hung up with her and called Pizza Hut to order a medium pepperoni pizza and 10 boneless Cajun wings. After that, I nuked my brother some Ramen noodles. They?re easy to fix and he loves that crap. I told him that I had a friend coming over and I wanted him to stay in his room or he could go in my room and watch movies on my computer since me and my gf were going to be in the living room. While he was eating his noodles, I went and fixed myself up a little bit. I didn?t go overboard, just wet-combed my hair, added some deodorant, and put on my new Halo 2 t-shirt. I was getting kinda nervous so I listened to some mp3s while I was getting ready to help calm me down. That was pretty cool because I think it worked.
I was clearing the table of my brother?s noodle bowl and empty chocolate milk cup when I hear the door knocker. I told my brother to go turn my mp3s off and he could watch movies on my computer if he wanted. He left the room and I answered the door and it was my gf. I invited her in and offered her a drink. She wanted a Sprite so I got that for her and we sat on the couch. At this point I was a little rattled because she showed up a few minutes early and the pizza hadn?t shown up yet. So I turn the tv on and turn it to The Biggest Loser, which is really a pretty inspiring show. She asked where my parents were and I told her that they were at a Christmas party, but it was cool with them if she was there while they were gone. We talked about classes, teachers, and friends while we were watching tv when the pizza and wings showed up. I paid the delivery guy in cash and asked my gf if she was ready to eat. We went to the dining table to eat and that?s when I hit the first speed bump. She doesn?t particularly care for pepperoni and I hadn?t thought to ask her when I invited her over. I picked the pepperoni off of her slice for her and we started eating. She was cool about it and didn?t show any signs of being upset and even ate the pepperoni on the other slices she had. The wings were kind of spicy-hot, but we ate some of those, too.
We got done and went back to the living room so we could watch a movie. I excused myself so that I could go get the movie from my room and some Altoids because I?m pretty sure the wings made my breath not-so-fresh. I took both back to the living room and told her she could have some Altoids if she wants and popped Titanic into the dvd player. I sat down next to her on the couch and put my arm around her. I could tell she was cool with it because she would smile at me every time I looked at her. We?d held hands before so this wasn?t such a big deal, but you never know. Anyway, we?d been watching the movie for quite a while when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. While she was gone, I laid over on the couch. When she came back I started to get up and she said that I didn?t need to get up and she laid on the couch in front of me with her back to me so that we were cuddling. That was really cool because we hadn?t done that yet. The only part that sucked about it was that I had to breathe through my mouth because my nose was stopped up and I kept breathing her hair into my mouth. I hate getting hair in my mouth, but I figured it was worth it in this case.
THIS IS WHERE IT BEGAN GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET. We were lying there cuddling when I feel my weenie start to twitch. I?m thinking to myself that this is going to get ugly. I can just imagine getting full wood and embarrassing myself because I don?t have enough room to back away from her so that she doesn?t feel it pressing up against her butt. I quickly hopped up and asked her if she wanted anything to drink. She said no so I went to fix myself something mainly to give my parts some time to settle down. After everything was cool, I went back to the couch and she was sitting up again so I sat down next to the end of the couch. She asked if everything was ok and I told her yes, I just needed to sit up to help my nose clear up. I had so many thoughts going through my head during the rest of the movie that I don?t really remember what happened. It was all a blur. She had to leave before the movie ended because it was almost 10:30 and she had to get home. After she left, I went to my room where my little brother was still on my computer. He threatened to tell my parents that my gf was in our house while they were gone if I don?t pay him $5 to keep quiet. We aren?t supposed to have anyone in the house when they?re not there. There?s not much I could do so I paid the little bastard $5.
Here?s my question, what can I do to prevent the same thing from happening again when the situation arises? I know some of you will suggest thinking about some old wrinkled granny to keep me limp, but I think that would kill the mood as much as the embarrassment of popping wood against my gf?s butt. Any help for me here? Also, does anyone have any ideas on how I can get out of paying my little brother to keep his mouth shut next time? Thanks for the help.
Cliff Notes:
1. Parents left for the night
2. Invited gf over to the house
3. Eat pizza and wings
4. Watch movie
5. Start to get hard while cuddling
6. Rest of night shot to hell
7. Butthole little brother extorts hush money from me
8. Need FRIENDLY suggestions
Edited for Kranky.