YAGT - Got a Date for Tonight!

[HardcoreRobot]

I have asked this girl a couple times to hang out with me. She always says yes, but so far she has cancelled on me everytime! I am pretty sure she is interested in me, but I think there must be other stuff going on (or another dude). Anyways, earlier in the week I asked her to go to a new years party with me and she shot me down. I didn't have my hopes up, so no big deal. She just called me and asked if the invitation was still open. Score! I was dreading spending New Years Eve alone

Odds are she will still back out though! Anyways, this is a big step for me so I just wanted some cookies. Cheers!

 

[moshquerade]

good luck

kiss her up good at midnight

 

[Patt]

have fun ...

 

[Albis]

 

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I have asked this girl a couple times to hang out with me. She always says yes, but so far she has cancelled on me everytime! I am pretty sure she is interested in me, but I think there must be other stuff going on (or another dude). Anyways, earlier in the week I asked her to go to a new years party with me and she shot me down. I didn't have my hopes up, so no big deal. She just called me and asked if the invitation was still open. Score! I was dreading spending New Years Eve alone

Odds are she will still back out though! Anyways, this is a big step for me so I just wanted some cookies. Cheers!

Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I have asked this girl a couple times to hang out with me. She always says yes, but so far she has cancelled on me everytime! I am pretty sure she is interested in me, but I think there must be other stuff going on (or another dude). Anyways, earlier in the week I asked her to go to a new years party with me and she shot me down. I didn't have my hopes up, so no big deal. She just called me and asked if the invitation was still open. Score! I was dreading spending New Years Eve alone

Odds are she will still back out though! Anyways, this is a big step for me so I just wanted some cookies. Cheers!

Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

word.... if you get shot down and then she calls up again to see if it's still open, you're definitely plan B.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: DearQT
Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

Bah! It's all about the p00n!

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: moshquerade
good luck

kiss her up good at midnight

Rock on.

It's a good sign that she called you to see if the offer was still open.

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: DearQT
Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

Bah! It's all about the p00n!

What a pig. Think it, don't speak it.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: halik

Originally posted by: DearQT

Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I have asked this girl a couple times to hang out with me. She always says yes, but so far she has cancelled on me everytime! I am pretty sure she is interested in me, but I think there must be other stuff going on (or another dude). Anyways, earlier in the week I asked her to go to a new years party with me and she shot me down. I didn't have my hopes up, so no big deal. She just called me and asked if the invitation was still open. Score! I was dreading spending New Years Eve alone

Odds are she will still back out though! Anyways, this is a big step for me so I just wanted some cookies. Cheers!

Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it!

LOL yeah I know what you mean. I am probably plan B (or C or D)! Its like in high school when the girl finally agrees to go to prom with you because its the day before and the guy she was hoping would ask her didnt.

I still dont know this girl very well, so its not like im trying to take things too seriously. If something does develop btw us, none of that other stuff would fly, but right now its not a big deal to me.

Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

There are other people I would rather spend tonight with that fight that criteria... sadly they are across the country (just moved here 6 mo ago and left everyone behind)

 

[Pepsi90919]

Originally posted by: Safeway

Originally posted by: moshquerade
good luck

kiss her up good at midnight

Rock on.

It's a good sign that she called you to see if the offer was still open.

Originally posted by: Safeway

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: DearQT
Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

Bah! It's all about the p00n!

What a pig. Think it, don't speak it.

i like to bold random words in my posts on anandtech

 

[bobbybe01]

I definitely wish you the best of fun on the date. However, if one were to ask out somebody and that somebody kept turning them down, or made a date and kept cancelling, then that would be a big fat ass red flag. The key to look for is overall consistency. If she isn't being consistent with you in a positive way, then you need to look elsewhere...or at the very least, don't take her or her relationship with you very seriously.

The problem I see as well is that you feel that you must have "someone" with you on New Year's to get approval for yourself and validate your self-worth. While it is certainly worthwhile to want to share a good time with somebody of the opposite sex (or same sex if that rocks your boat), it cannot become a NEED. It's good to have a desire to poon or whatever, but if it becomes a NEED...then you NEED to improve.

I would recommend this forum based on the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" here Basically this book teaches you to learn how to improve yourself and develop self confidence in who you are. You don't have to be a jerk, but you don't have to be a pussy either. It's being true to yourself and in reality, being honest with other people. You might not want to do it tonight (if she doesn't cancel), but if she does again I would definitely have a talk with her. Lay down the cards on the table and don't take crap from her. Women will treat you like crap if they know they can get away with it.

 

[Stark]

play her hot and cold

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: bobbybe01
I definitely wish you the best of fun on the date. However, if one were to ask out somebody and that somebody kept turning them down, or made a date and kept cancelling, then that would be a big fat ass red flag. The key to look for is overall consistency. If she isn't being consistent with you in a positive way, then you need to look elsewhere...or at the very least, don't take her or her relationship with you very seriously.

The problem I see as well is that you feel that you must have "someone" with you on New Year's to get approval for yourself and validate your self-worth. While it is certainly worthwhile to want to share a good time with somebody of the opposite sex (or same sex if that rocks your boat), it cannot become a NEED. It's good to have a desire to poon or whatever, but if it becomes a NEED...then you NEED to improve.

I would recommend this forum based on the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" here Basically this book teaches you to learn how to improve yourself and develop self confidence in who you are. You don't have to be a jerk, but you don't have to be a pussy either. It's being true to yourself and in reality, being honest with other people. You might not want to do it tonight (if she doesn't cancel), but if she does again I would definitely have a talk with her. Lay down the cards on the table and don't take crap from her. Women will treat you like crap if they know they can get away with it.

She knows she is sitting on thin ice with me. As in, if she keeps cancelling on me I *will* lose interest. I am fairly certain there are other serious things going on in her life. I am not sure how they relate to me, but Im convinced some of these things are outside her control. I dont play games and I dont like girls that do. If it turns out that she is just fickle and inconsistent, it wont be worth my effort.

 

[her209]

Do her like its 2006.

 

[txxxx]

Frankly if you have that much self-respect for yourself that you allow yourself to be used like this... good luck

 

[jjones]

Well, you're definately her backup plan but make the best of it. It's still better than not kissing anyone New Year's Eve.

 

[Safeway]

Maybe I do?

 

[judasmachine]

Hope it works out. Unless of course it's my date you've been chatting up.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: judasmachine
Hope it works out. Unless of course it's my date you've been chatting up.

hahah, thanks

For the record, she never canceled on me for new years, she just said that couldnt make it. maybe she had a hot date with some other dude that backed out, or maybe she had some outstanding family obligation. i dont know, its none of my business. just becuase things change and shes becomes available doesnt mean i am second option or being used. hell, how can i be used when she gets nothing from me? what would she be using me for? regarding the needing vs wanting a girl... you are way overanalyzing. this was a very simple thread: new years + girl > new years - girl

 

[Yossarian]

congratulations on being Plan B. aim high.

 

[Hammer]

no one cancels on NYE

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: Yossarian
congratulations on being Plan B. aim high.

well, i didnt ask until wednesday so it was no surprise she had plans. since all you negativist nerds assume i am the backup, i will assume she canceled on some other poor chap so she could be with me!


so there!

 

[NakaNaka]

Originally posted by: Safeway

Originally posted by: moshquerade
good luck

kiss her up good at midnight

Rock on.

It's a good sign that she called you to see if the offer was still open.

Agreed. Don't get your hopes up too much but that's a good sign.

 

[arcas]

Originally posted by: halik

Originally posted by: DearQT

Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.

word.... if you get shot down and then she calls up again to see if it's still open, you're definitely plan B.

This is exactly what's happening. You're plan B. Or plan C.

Someone once said "Don't make someone a priority while being their option." There's a lot of truth in that statement.