Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I have asked this girl a couple times to hang out with me. She always says yes, but so far she has cancelled on me everytime! I am pretty sure she is interested in me, but I think there must be other stuff going on (or another dude). Anyways, earlier in the week I asked her to go to a new years party with me and she shot me down. I didn't have my hopes up, so no big deal. She just called me and asked if the invitation was still open. Score! I was dreading spending New Years Eve alone
Odds are she will still back out though! Anyways, this is a big step for me so I just wanted some cookies. Cheers!
Originally posted by: MichaelD
While I'm happy to hear that you have a date, I question your intelligence on this one.
You've been sniffing after her crotch for a long time now. She's canceled/backed out/handed you a line every single time.
She shot you down earlier this week when you first invited her to tonights' festival.
Now she calls you and asks if she can still go.
Isn't it obvious that you are her LAST choice and she's just looking for a free meal?
Personally, I'd have told her "Sorry, I'm taking someone else" even if I was going alone.
OTOH, after the second time she blew me off I'd have stopped sniffing after her anyway.
Good luck though; I hope she gets buzzed and wants to do you on the hood of the car. :beer:
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
lol you guys crack me up
the goal is not to have sex, make her my slave and have her put me as her #1 priority in life. i dont care if she decides to stay home and watch 90210 reruns instead of hanging out with me. she can do whatever she wants! like i said before, judging from our other conversations, i know there is other stuff going on in her life that is interfering and it doesnt necessarily reflect her feelings for me. i dont have many friends in my new town, so im just looking someone to spend the evening with. if stuff happens, so be it.
considering i wouldnt know anyone at the party, i was initially looking just for a familiar face to come along (not some sex object to get intoxicated and screw). i have known her for about 6 months, and only over the past few weeks has she showed interest in me beyond being just acquaintances (thus beginning my efforts to do stuff with her and her efforts to agree and then back out). this hasnt been a lengthy process. i havent been pining over her for months, begging for a date. i just took the signs from her and went for it. if it works out, awesome, if it fizzles so what. neither result make me an idiot for being patient!
like i said earlier, you guys dont know i am 2nd option. maybe i AM #1 option, and she cancelled her other plans to be with me. dont be such women about this and read in so much. and if i would prefer to hang out with her, and she evidently prefers to hang out with me (of her remaining options), why should i make the effort to have her feel crappy by saying i would rather attend alone? that just seems passive-agressive/petty and thats not my style!
You guys just have different values. MichaelD likes to talk about using women, how big of a pimp he is, and how many conquests he's had.Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
lol
either you are joking, or i guess i just didnt explain the situation very well. the sex comes out of a healthy relationship. if you go into one with that as the goal things get really messed up. and, im way to selfish/stingy to waste money on a girl i dont know very well. i save it to spend on people i know i really like a lot, like myself, or my family
Originally posted by: jumpr
You guys just have different values. MichaelD likes to talk about using women, how big of a pimp he is, and how many conquests he's had.Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
lol
either you are joking, or i guess i just didnt explain the situation very well. the sex comes out of a healthy relationship. if you go into one with that as the goal things get really messed up. and, im way to selfish/stingy to waste money on a girl i dont know very well. i save it to spend on people i know i really like a lot, like myself, or my family
You, on the other hand, have a healthier, more wholesome view of a sexual relationship.
I'm not saying either one is bad, I'm just saying they're different.
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
lol
either you are joking, or i guess i just didnt explain the situation very well. the sex comes out of a healthy relationship. if you go into one with that as the goal things get really messed up. and, im way to selfish/stingy to waste money on a girl i dont know very well. i save it to spend on people i know i really like a lot, like myself, or my family
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
if she is not interested why does she initially agree to do things with me? (and repeatedly say we should hang out)
the consistent cancelling might suggest you are correct, but there are other possible explanations for that. plus, there is nothing in it for her to string me along - if she wasnt interested she would have simply said no, and i would have taken the hint and moved on. also, to date, i have spent a total of $0 on her. im not interested in chicks that are interested in me for my money, so its doubtful i would ever be in this position with someone like that.
considering the state of our current relationship (a smidgeon above nonexistent), and the resounding lack of other women, im not taking anything too seriously thats why i dont care about this. i agree though, if things get more serious, her inconsistency is not going to workOriginally posted by: txxxx
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
lol
either you are joking, or i guess i just didnt explain the situation very well. the sex comes out of a healthy relationship. if you go into one with that as the goal things get really messed up. and, im way to selfish/stingy to waste money on a girl i dont know very well. i save it to spend on people i know i really like a lot, like myself, or my family
Im (and maybe the others) are just saying to be a bit more realistic, and that you dont have to take this shite. Fair does if it works out, but the way she's treating you in the past shows that she's not taking you as seriously as you'd like.
i have been down the stereotypical nerd falls in love, becomes obsessed, gets stuck on the friends ladder, heartbroken path. fortunately that was years ago (early college) and i learned so much from that. since then i have also had a really good "real" relationship that has since expired, but that also taught me a lot. i dont believe i am as naive as some of you may think.Originally posted by: MichaelD
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
if she is not interested why does she initially agree to do things with me? (and repeatedly say we should hang out)
the consistent cancelling might suggest you are correct, but there are other possible explanations for that. plus, there is nothing in it for her to string me along - if she wasnt interested she would have simply said no, and i would have taken the hint and moved on. also, to date, i have spent a total of $0 on her. im not interested in chicks that are interested in me for my money, so its doubtful i would ever be in this position with someone like that.
ARGH!!!
/bangs head on keyboard
*whamwhamwham!*
BECAUSE SHE CAN AND YOU'RE SO GULLIBLE, that's why!!! She always wants to have a date/BF. It's obvious she's nice looking b/c she's always busy.
You are Guy #19 of probably 30 possible guys she can call. She's in that stage (early 20's I'd guess) where she's always gotta be busy...always at some club, etc.
She picks her dates on how they match up with what she wants to do that night. Hockey game? Call the jock. Art show? Call the introverted geekish guy. Dance Club? Call the guy with the nose ring and the nice clothes. Etc, etc. Where you fit in, I don't know.
Just trying to help!!! And hey, sex is a nice bonus to a genuinely good and fun evening/weekend/whatever. But I just don't want to see you get crushed...seen it too many times myself and it's not fun.
I will now go back up to my lofty perch on the top of the mountain.
The Old Man hath spoken.
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
lol you guys crack me up
the goal is not to have sex, make her my slave and have her put me as her #1 priority in life. i dont care if she decides to stay home and watch 90210 reruns instead of hanging out with me. she can do whatever she wants! like i said before, judging from our other conversations, i know there is other stuff going on in her life that is interfering and it doesnt necessarily reflect her feelings for me. i dont have many friends in my new town, so im just looking someone to spend the evening with. if stuff happens, so be it.
considering i wouldnt know anyone at the party, i was initially looking just for a familiar face to come along (not some sex object to get intoxicated and screw). i have known her for about 6 months, and only over the past few weeks has she showed interest in me beyond being just acquaintances (thus beginning my efforts to do stuff with her and her efforts to agree and then back out). this hasnt been a lengthy process. i havent been pining over her for months, begging for a date. i just took the signs from her and went for it. if it works out, awesome, if it fizzles so what. neither result make me an idiot for being patient!
like i said earlier, you guys dont know i am 2nd option. maybe i AM #1 option, and she cancelled her other plans to be with me. dont be such women about this and read in so much. and if i would prefer to hang out with her, and she evidently prefers to hang out with me (of her remaining options), why should i make the effort to have her feel crappy by saying i would rather attend alone? that just seems passive-agressive/petty and thats not my style!
Originally posted by: Safeway
Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
Originally posted by: DearQT
Other odds are that she's using you as a backup to get someone else, or promote jealousy. If you don't mind such treatment, go for it! Couldn't you, though, get someone else that you're sure of to go to the New Year's with you? I imagine it would be more fun with someone who truly cared about you.
Bah! It's all about the p00n!
What a pig. Think it, don't speak it.
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
I have asked this girl a couple times to hang out with me. She always says yes, but so far she has cancelled on me everytime! I am pretty sure she is interested in me, but I think there must be other stuff going on (or another dude). Anyways, earlier in the week I asked her to go to a new years party with me and she shot me down. I didn't have my hopes up, so no big deal. She just called me and asked if the invitation was still open. Score! I was dreading spending New Years Eve alone
Odds are she will still back out though! Anyways, this is a big step for me so I just wanted some cookies. Cheers!