Relevant Background:
I've known my ex for fifteen years on and off (I'm 33, she's 29). We have had sporadic communication over the years. Each of us had our own issues with chemical dependency and depression to work out. Each of us have also had serious relationships over the years.
I met my wife over 7 years ago. We've been together since, got married a little over two years ago. She is absolutely my best friend. We spend most of our time together, I have few friends locally (my choice).
Saying Goodbye:
Well, my wife and I are getting ready to move halfway across the country. So I've been seeing a lot of old friends and decided to give my ex a call. I mentioned it to my wife and she was ok with it.
I was a little nervous about the whole ordeal, but things turned out great. We spent the whole night catching up, reminiscing. She told me quite a few stories that I had no recollection of (that occurred during my "drug/depression haze"). We discussed our history leading to our eventual breakup, and how our perspectives (and feelings) had changed over the years. We both had wanted to get in touch sooner, but respected each others boundaries (we were both seeing other people). All in all, it was a fun evening and I left her that night with a really good feeling.
Still Friends:
We agreed to communicate via email. My wife had an amicable divorce with her husband. They still keep in touch via email. So she can understand my desire to maintain a friendship.
The older I get the more I realize that true friends are harder to come by.
I'm curious to know how many ATOT'ers still communicate with their ex? Does it create problems?
**Update**
Well...after a long, painful, conversation last night with the wife, I've decided not to keep in touch with my ex. I'm not gonna go into details...but I've decided that nothing good can come from it.
My wife and I have enough on our table with the marriage anyway (as most do), not to mention moving 1200 miles away and starting new jobs.
Although I really enjoyed seeing her, I've been conflicted since (emotionally, not otherwise). It just stirred up old feelings that have no place in my current life. To recognize that and appreciate that is important.
I've known my ex for fifteen years on and off (I'm 33, she's 29). We have had sporadic communication over the years. Each of us had our own issues with chemical dependency and depression to work out. Each of us have also had serious relationships over the years.
I met my wife over 7 years ago. We've been together since, got married a little over two years ago. She is absolutely my best friend. We spend most of our time together, I have few friends locally (my choice).
Saying Goodbye:
Well, my wife and I are getting ready to move halfway across the country. So I've been seeing a lot of old friends and decided to give my ex a call. I mentioned it to my wife and she was ok with it.
I was a little nervous about the whole ordeal, but things turned out great. We spent the whole night catching up, reminiscing. She told me quite a few stories that I had no recollection of (that occurred during my "drug/depression haze"). We discussed our history leading to our eventual breakup, and how our perspectives (and feelings) had changed over the years. We both had wanted to get in touch sooner, but respected each others boundaries (we were both seeing other people). All in all, it was a fun evening and I left her that night with a really good feeling.
Still Friends:
We agreed to communicate via email. My wife had an amicable divorce with her husband. They still keep in touch via email. So she can understand my desire to maintain a friendship.
The older I get the more I realize that true friends are harder to come by.
I'm curious to know how many ATOT'ers still communicate with their ex? Does it create problems?
**Update**
Well...after a long, painful, conversation last night with the wife, I've decided not to keep in touch with my ex. I'm not gonna go into details...but I've decided that nothing good can come from it.
My wife and I have enough on our table with the marriage anyway (as most do), not to mention moving 1200 miles away and starting new jobs.
Although I really enjoyed seeing her, I've been conflicted since (emotionally, not otherwise). It just stirred up old feelings that have no place in my current life. To recognize that and appreciate that is important.