I'm sure that there are books containing similar advice to what i've posted, but if youre wondering, no i didnt just copy that from the nearest self help/relationships book. The problem with most of these books is that they're written by a PhD who has no real world experience doing what he preaches. It's the same problem as asking for advice here. 99% of the people doling out advice are unqualified to give it. "Just say hi" is a lot easier to say than to actually do. I approach hundreds of women per year and although it does get easier, that paralyzing sense of fear and anxiety never goes away completely. That feeling you get in your gut when you see a hot girl that you want to talk to...you just have to barrel through it and know that the world won't end no matter what happens.
"Not having anything to say" is generally only a problem because you have not learned to demonstrate your personality. Do you have friends? Do they like you? Are you funny and fun and spontaneous around them? If so, it means you have a personality, you just freeze up around strangers. If not, it means you have to develop one. In either case, you also have to learn how to display it. It's like being in sales and not knowing how to sell your product. Not know what its strong points are or why someone would want to buy it. You're selling yourself, and the skills to do that are the same.
Pontifex you probably knew the elevator hack i described in my first post. Assuming you're not an anti social hermit, you probably know a LOT of interesting things. You just don't realize that other people might find it interesting. Try this: Take a few minutes each day and write down interesting things you know or that have happened to you. On my google custom homepage i have the "interesting thing of the day" that i read every morning. Keep up with the news. Take note of the things that you tell your friends which they find intriguing. The next time you're in a social environment (like say, at lunch with coworkers), bring those topics up (assuming theyre work safe). Tell them the story about how your brother fell in the lake when you were fishing over the weekend. Or tell them about what you want to do. Maybe you want to backpack across Europe. Or learn to scuba dive. Maybe you're taking salsa lessons and your dancing partner keeps stepping on your toes. Or in my case, she's an older woman who tries to hook me up with the other girls in the class but she's hilariously blatant about it even though she tries to be slick. Whatever. Half of the battle to being social is just learning to talk, talk, talk.
Have you noticed that i write long posts? Because i can talk to anyone about anything. I'm not naturally social. I forced myself to learn how to talk, to socialize. It's an invaluable skill that will come back to you in spades. I met Randy Fry (owner/founder of Fry's Electronics) in San Diego a few months back by starting up a random conversation with an older guy in a bar. Had no idea who he was until we exchanged business cards. He told me to give him a ring if i ever need anything. Amazing networking opportunity that wouldnt have happened had i not been social. Sure, it sucks at first. You talk to people but youre nervous and they give you weird looks or whatever. But who cares? You'll never see them again. You're doing this for your personal benefit, not because you want their validation. So talk to people. Everyone. Guys, girls, the elderly, everyone. Social skills are basically the same whether you're chatting up a lingerie model or a grandpa at the DMV. One year from now you'll look back on your old anti social self and barely recognize him. That's a good thing. Self improvement is a continual process.