YAGT: "I already have enough friends" actually works!

[PingSpike]

My best friend's brother in law used this line. Since he's his brother in law, it obviously worked.

She thought he was to old for her, and called him after a few dates and said "Lets just be friends." He said, "Nope, I've already got enough friends." And hung up. Yada yada yada...they're married and have like 4-5 kids now.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: mayonnaise

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

He didn't blackmail her. He's not forcing her to do anything she is unwilling to do.

Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.

He just got her to take a chance with him and have fun. If it doesn't work out then they can continue being friends again.

Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.

pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...

Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.

Yeah, but whats the alternative? Spending the rest of his life swooning over something thats right in front of him but he can never have? His feelings aren't going anywhere. Sometimes you have to just go for it, consequences be damned. Personally, I'd rather lose the friendship...I could make peace with that. Torturing myself would get old however.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: mayonnaise

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

He didn't blackmail her. He's not forcing her to do anything she is unwilling to do.

Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.

He just got her to take a chance with him and have fun. If it doesn't work out then they can continue being friends again.

Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.

pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...

Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.

I still talk to the girl I dated when I was 12 (13 years ago, gasp) and am taking out my last ex dancing tonight. I'm pretty good with keeping the friendship going, maybe it's because I have a low sex drive? wait, did I say that outloud?

and quoted so that future generations can know that you have a limp willy and need viagra

oh god no! I don't have a limp willy, sex just isn't the big deal now as it was when i was 16. I'd rather find a girl I can do the crosswords with on a sunday morning than spend the night with jessica alba. i know, i'm weird.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
So there's this girl I've been longing for for quite a while. We've gotten pretty close and I recently asked her out on a date. She gave me the old "I love you as a friend and i wouldn't want to risk that..." So, after some reflection, I texted her - "I would be willing to take that risk and i'm sorry that you won't - bye." two days later she calls me and says that she'd miss me too much and said that she'd be willing to try dating. it works, it's really does work!

Yep, worked for me as well.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

haha... good point.

Personally I wouldn't be willing to date someone who would be willing to date someone who forced them into dating....

/looks at sentence, shakes head...

... but I understand some people have lower standards, and that's ok.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: mayonnaise

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

He didn't blackmail her. He's not forcing her to do anything she is unwilling to do.

Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.

He just got her to take a chance with him and have fun. If it doesn't work out then they can continue being friends again.

Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.

pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...

Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.

Yeah, but whats the alternative? Spending the rest of his life swooning over something thats right in front of him but he can never have? His feelings aren't going anywhere. Sometimes you have to just go for it, consequences be damned. Personally, I'd rather lose the friendship...I could make peace with that. Torturing myself would get old however.

You are 100% right. I've been there. I've fallen for girls, been rejected, still remained friends and then ended up meeting the losers they call boyfriends. It's rough - wanting a girl and then spending more time with her, knowing that you don't deserve her (or at least she feels that you don't deserve her). Sometimes it's ok - my best friend rejected me and I actually am moving in with her new boyfriend, he's a great guy and would make a great roommate. But 95% of the times friendships are not worth the torment of being reminded that you're pathetic in their eyes.

 

[brandonbull]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: mayonnaise

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

He didn't blackmail her. He's not forcing her to do anything she is unwilling to do.

Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.

He just got her to take a chance with him and have fun. If it doesn't work out then they can continue being friends again.

Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.

pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...

Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.

I still talk to the girl I dated when I was 12 (13 years ago, gasp) and am taking out my last ex dancing tonight. I'm pretty good with keeping the friendship going, maybe it's because I have a low sex drive? wait, did I say that outloud?

and quoted so that future generations can know that you have a limp willy and need viagra

oh god no! I don't have a limp willy, sex just isn't the big deal now as it was when i was 16. I'd rather find a girl I can do the crosswords with on a sunday morning than spend the night with jessica alba. i know, i'm weird.

You're not weird....... just gay

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: mayonnaise

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

He didn't blackmail her. He's not forcing her to do anything she is unwilling to do.

Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.

He just got her to take a chance with him and have fun. If it doesn't work out then they can continue being friends again.

Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.

pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...

Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.

Yeah, but whats the alternative? Spending the rest of his life swooning over something thats right in front of him but he can never have? His feelings aren't going anywhere. Sometimes you have to just go for it, consequences be damned. Personally, I'd rather lose the friendship...I could make peace with that. Torturing myself would get old however.

You are 100% right. I've been there. I've fallen for girls, been rejected, still remained friends and then ended up meeting the losers they call boyfriends. It's rough - wanting a girl and then spending more time with her, knowing that you don't deserve her (or at least she feels that you don't deserve her). Sometimes it's ok - my best friend rejected me and I actually am moving in with her new boyfriend, he's a great guy and would make a great roommate. But 95% of the times friendships are not worth the torment of being reminded that you're pathetic in their eyes.

The way I see it, friendships have to be equal. It isnt a mutual friendship if one has "feelings" for the other. So I don't see how its blackmail - she isn't JUST a friend, and probably never will be, and whether or not it actually gets her to go out with him, "I have enough friends" is the way to play it if you want to keep your mind sane.

 

[Modular]

tap it

twice....

then expect to "never see her again"

GL

 

[Chrono]

if she really liked you she would have risked it in the first place.

 

[Cattlegod]

i've never had just girl "friends"

i've always ended up banging them.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: brandonbull

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: mayonnaise

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

He didn't blackmail her. He's not forcing her to do anything she is unwilling to do.

Blackmail isn't forceful, it's compelling. She has the choice to ignore his requests, but it's at the cost of the friendship.

He just got her to take a chance with him and have fun. If it doesn't work out then they can continue being friends again.

Good luck with that idea. It changes things. Some friendships survive, some don't.

pretty much the dynamics of the freindship has changed...i hope he doesnt expect to go back to the way things were if it doesnt work out...

Most "after relationship" friendships are pretty screwed up. And eventually fade away - of course some miniscule .01% works out ok.

I still talk to the girl I dated when I was 12 (13 years ago, gasp) and am taking out my last ex dancing tonight. I'm pretty good with keeping the friendship going, maybe it's because I have a low sex drive? wait, did I say that outloud?

and quoted so that future generations can know that you have a limp willy and need viagra

oh god no! I don't have a limp willy, sex just isn't the big deal now as it was when i was 16. I'd rather find a girl I can do the crosswords with on a sunday morning than spend the night with jessica alba. i know, i'm weird.

You're not weird....... just gay

hah, if I was gay I'd be getting a lot more chicks than I currently do.

 

[Alienwho]

Originally posted by: Chrono
if she really liked you she would have risked it in the first place.

I don't know about that. Most of the girls i've played it on REALLY liked me, but usually they were just getting over lame relationships with their last loser boyfriends and/or contemplating getting back together with them again. They would try to keep me on the backburner incase things with their "boyfriends" didn't work out by wanting to stay friends with me. I'd always say no, I don't need anymore friends and sure enough a day or two later I'd always get the call saying okay the boyfriend is gone.

 

[z42]

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

Only on ATOT is honesty looked at as blackmail. Good for you OP. I would agree that it is better to never enter the friend zone, but if you're there and you don't want to be, better for both of you to be up front about it.

 

[randay]

on one hand I don't think that was a nice thing to do, on the other hand... brilliant.

also: pics?

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: Pepsei

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: Descartes
IMO, that sounds like that'd be really awkward. You forced her into a date by threatening to withhold friendship.

Good luck to you though.

yeah sounds kind of odd....seems liek he blackmailed her into a date

a lot of girls like a man who takes charge. if he didn't do it, he'd still be in "Let's Just Be Friends" slot.

And it's not like he actually threatened to end the friendship, he just called her bullsh1t.

 

[Shelly21]

It takes about 10 seconds to decide if the guy pass the initial bf test.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Shelly21
It takes about 10 seconds to decide if the guy pass the initial bf test.

True that.

What most guys don't get is it takes a woman like 30 seconds to initially upon first meeting decide if they would sleep with them.

 

[essasin]

Being an a$$ works for the younger girls. Money works for the older ones.