YAGT: I can't meet any girls

[Mr Pickles]

I don't know. I think I'll actually respond to this one.

I wrote a whole paragraph, thought it sucked, so deleted it and started over. I'm just going to get to the point with it. I think there is more opportunity around then you think. I've got a buddy of mine that says he has the same problem: because he doesn't hang out with new people he can't seem to find girls worth hanging out with. In all reality you are probably hanging out with more new people then you think...

There are new people in almost every atmosphere. Someone brings a friend that you've never met, someone else brings someone you've seen once or twice but you havent really talked with bla bla bla. No matter what, the people you normally hang out with will always be around, so going out of your way to make a get to know the new person in the group is what is going to get you a chance to branch out. It could be someone's new gf, someone's new bf, any ugly chick or a super hot chick that you would bang in a heartbeat but you know she wouldnt go for you, doesnt matter... get to know them (not by stalking them, but by talking with them). Everyone is willing to be friends with you if they are willing to hang out with your friends. Getting to know them opens up opportunities to the friends that they have and they friends friends that they have and so on. Somewhere down that chain you are bound to find a girl that is remotely interesting. That's why its called networking. Go out of your way to remember everyones name and a few things about them so next time you guys run into each other you can literally just start talking with them.

It sounds like a lot of work, or it might seem like making an effort to get to know an ugly chick is going no where but its one more friend to add to your list that just might be friends with some girl you'd be interested in. Skip no one, be friends with everyone, it will open so many doors it will be rediculous.

Edit: a lot of people in this thread are suggesting joinging groups, but in reality if you do that then you only know them through the group function. If you are going to do that then make sure your effort is NOT TO MEET ONLY THE GIRLS YOU LIKE. Learn to know everyone and be willing to hang out with anyone, then keep your eye out for girls that are interesting.

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

The thing is that I already do things that I like. I'm at the gym 3-4 days a week and play hockey. This takes up a good chunk of my free time.

I've still got the evenings to go out, so I know when I'm able to meet people. It's jsut finding other things I want to do that won't take so much effort that I'm just always going 7 days a week. I still want time to just relax

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22

Originally posted by: chr6
library, church, i think theres good women there

My problem is I go to a church where I'm the youngest member by 30 years

no GILFs? :laugh:

i like older women but not that much older...i don't even go to church at all because I'm not religious.

 

[xospec1alk]

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/17/fashion/17Dating.html

 

[Double Trouble]

A cooking class is a good idea -- you could learn to make some dishes, it might be fun to boot, and who knows who you might meet. How about joinging a ski club, or (if you have a dog) go to the dog park etc.

 

[StevenYoo]

Originally posted by: xospec1alk
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/17/fashion/17Dating.html

holy schnikeys, kel

why have you been withholding this info from me???

 

[GTaudiophile]

Exactly. Get out. Get away from the computer. Don't necessarily hang out at clubs and bars but rather join activity clubs where hobbies bring people together. Also, what about community involvement? Help the poor. Work evenings at your local movie theater or art house?

If you have a female friend, ask her what you can do to look better: fix hair, acne meds, different clothes, etc. Don't go all out. Remain comfortable with yourself and be proud of the person you are presenting, but it doesn't hurt to refine some things.

Don't be afraid to make conversation. Maybe try being more talkative and chatty with people you are NOT interested in like other guys or the elderly. Refine your conversation skills.

Be a gentleman! But don't be TOO much of a gentleman. Quit picking your nose and public and staring at the ground as you walk, etc. At least look confident.

Smile! Life is good!

If you have a mental checklist for "the one", then I suggest you get rid of it. No woman will ever exactly fit the mold you have created.

Don't put women on a pedestal. They are human. They laugh, they cry, they have needs, they want to love and be loved, they can be very horny, they fart, they make mistakes, etc. They are often just like you.

Yes, they want to be loved and want to cuddle. This is important to remember. Even the hottest and most "untouchable" girl in the room might react to you if you just approach her normally instead of a piece of meat. Make eye contact and smile. If she gives you a second look and smiles back, that is a start! Go introduce yourself. What is the worst that could happen? Be back at square 1?

 

[Sex Smurf]

tom leykis show starts in a hour and half. It's Leykis 101 day. call in so i can listen to your problems on the FM radio.

Not being able to meet people means you're LAZY!

http://www.971freefm.com/

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

The thing is that I already do things that I like. I'm at the gym 3-4 days a week and play hockey. This takes up a good chunk of my free time.

I've still got the evenings to go out, so I know when I'm able to meet people. It's jsut finding other things I want to do that won't take so much effort that I'm just always going 7 days a week. I still want time to just relax

lol, dood... If the bulk of your free time is occupied by activities where you're not meeting women how do you think you're going to meet women... They're not going to come over and knock on your door...

Switch up your routine...

 

[crt1530]

Originally posted by: Sex Smurf
tom leykis show starts in a hour and half. It's Leykis 101 day. call in so i can listen to your problems on the FM radio.

Not being able to meet people means you're LAZY!

http://www.971freefm.com/

Misogyny for the win!

 

[crt1530]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

The thing is that I already do things that I like. I'm at the gym 3-4 days a week and play hockey. This takes up a good chunk of my free time.

I've still got the evenings to go out, so I know when I'm able to meet people. It's jsut finding other things I want to do that won't take so much effort that I'm just always going 7 days a week. I still want time to just relax

lol, dood... If the bulk of your free time is occupied by activities where you're not meeting women how do you think you're going to meet women... They're not going to come over and knock on your door...

Switch up your routine...

They will if they see a spider. Then you can refuse to help them, post about it and never finish the story.

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I volunteer at a childrens hospital and there are plenty of attractive girls there volunteering. although their ages tend to be younger, ranging from 16-21.

 

[Mr Pickles]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I volunteer at a childrens hospital and there are plenty of attractive girls there volunteering. although their ages tend to be younger, ranging from 16-21.

Ripe for the pickin! Again though, if there aren't any hotties don't blow off the chance to make friends with someone and get to know their friends and so on...

 

[slsmnaz]

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I think that is just wrong. Just click the link above for a prime example. I moved to a new town a few years ago, joined a couple groups, co-ed teams and volunteered and there were plenty of available women. Tastes vary but there were always attractive ones around.

You have to leave your comfort zone. Obviously what you're doing right now is not working so change it up. Reminds my of the Seinfeld where George does the opposite of his usual thoughts.

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: MrLee

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I volunteer at a childrens hospital and there are plenty of attractive girls there volunteering. although their ages tend to be younger, ranging from 16-21.

Ripe for the pickin! Again though, if there aren't any hotties don't blow off the chance to make friends with someone and get to know their friends and so on...

yeah, i already have a girfriend but i'm just pointing out that volunteer opportunities are great for meeting new people

 

[apac]

One thing no one's mentioned is you should only go out and meet women in these groups/activities/volunteering if you're genuinely interested in whatever it is. Odds are that whoever you meet at that children's hospital really DOES like working there. If she finds you attractive because you're also helping children, and then later discovers that you hate children and were just trying to meet women, methinks things won't go over so well.

That's not to say that you can't try something new and become interested, just that it's important to be yourself.

 

[DaShen]

51% of the population.

But I hear you. Sometimes it can be difficult. No worries. Join a business club, charity, religious group, or plan an event and invite everyone you know (and have them bring friends). Seriously! If you are proactive about it, meaning you actually take time to plan a course of action, there is no problem in finding friends or maybe something more. And by proactive, I mean, not just going out to clubs when you are lonely. That is what lonely desperate people do, and people figure that out very quickly. The best thing to do is put yourself in a group that is not just about meeting people. Seriously, a dance class, a speech club (Toastmasters), church/temple, volunteer work.... all good venues. If that isn't something you are into, then plan a social event with your friends. Have them bring friends and invite girls (any girls, all girls know each other anyways). If someone catches your interest, then spend time with them on the social event. I suggest something out in the open where people can talk and just do whatever. The zoo or museum is a nice place to plan something. If you are unwilling to do that, then tough, because then it just means you are lazy and unmotivated to find someone really. Someone you are compatible with rarely just pops onto your lap while you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs. I am not saying to play games (DON'T PLAY GAMES), but be proactive and plan out things or join groups that will be beneficial to you socially (it doesn't have to be contrived or forced because if nothing happens, then nothing happens, but chances are the more you do it the easier things become and something will happen).

Good luck to you.

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: ggnl

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I volunteer at a childrens hospital and there are plenty of attractive girls there volunteering. although their ages tend to be younger, ranging from 16-21.

Well I'm 25 like the OP and from my experience stuff like that tends to fall off sharply once women graduate from college and/or get full time jobs. It's not a bad idea at all, but you have to approach it as something you would like to do anyways with the pleasent side effect of occasionally meeting new women. If, like the OP I'd assume, you're looking specifically to meet women it's just a lot easier to engage is events where the women have the same mindset. Otherwise it's a lot like waiting for lightning to strike. Sometimes you get lucky, and sometimes you have 12 month dry spells.

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: xospec1alk
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/17/fashion/17Dating.html

?I?ve been in tennis for four months and there?s maybe one guy out of six people,? she said. ?They start getting cute because there?s no one else to look at.

Dingdingdingding!!!!

I think this solves the problem for most of ATOT.

 

[Kev]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I volunteer at a childrens hospital and there are plenty of attractive girls there volunteering. although their ages tend to be younger, ranging from 16-21.

giggity giggity

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: Kev

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: NuroMancer

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

Listen to the lady.

That's oversimplifying it a bit I think. Even if you're the type of guy that can easily score a date once you establish a rapport with a woman, the chances that any given club or volunteer activity are going to have at least one woman that is attractive, compatible, AND single are pretty low.

It's true that you'll never meet anyone if you don't go out and look, but it's probably more productive to stick to activities where the participants are actively looking for dates like online personals or speed dating events.

I volunteer at a childrens hospital and there are plenty of attractive girls there volunteering. although their ages tend to be younger, ranging from 16-21.

giggity giggity

:laugh:

 

[RedBeard]

Seen spider man 3? Do what Peter does....

 

[Canun]

Just log onto a dating website like yahoo or match, buy one month's membership. Then write out a letter basically talking about yourself. Then search through the personals, find any likely candidates (even the long shots), paste the letter into the message and add a few lines about their profile. Cancel after the one month, ask a few out. Doesn't work, try again in a few months.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i should write an ebook on this and sell it at a deep discount to any ATOT members.

*sigh*


DO THINGS YOU LIKE! Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new and be open to anyone you meet there.
Take a cooking class, join a book club, volunteer at an animal shelter... that is the first step. Get out there where you can come into contact with females. Don't go to bars.

You are a wise girl, Lolawiz

To OP,

Be youself and do things you enjoy and people who are like minded will gravitate towards you. If you are lazy and inactive, then the only way to be more social is to change that. Good luck to you.