YAGT: I just cut my Girlfriend off

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magomago

Lifer
Sep 28, 2002
10,973
14
76
Wait how did he initiate contect? AFAI can tell from the thread - before he left he wrote that note...ie: when she was asleep.

MichealD - Ex HUSBANDS around the house? OH HELLLLLLL NO.
 

Mentat

Member
Oct 3, 2006
125
0
0
As for this new development, you just screwed yourself. You made first contact, that's a big no no in this situation.

What the he** you talking about man. I didnt make any contact with her. Since last night I havnt talked to her. Before I left last night I left her that note. That was the last time I have ever, and will ever talk to her. I say what I WANT to do...but I WONT do it. Does that make sense????
 

LanceM

Senior member
Mar 13, 2004
999
0
0
She doesn't feel the slightest bit guilty, so there's no use in trying to make her feel bad.

ANY further communication on your part is just pitiful.
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: Mentat
As for this new development, you just screwed yourself. You made first contact, that's a big no no in this situation.

What the he** you talking about man. I didnt make any contact with her. Since last night I havnt talked to her. Before I left last night I left her that note. That was the last time I have ever, and will ever talk to her. I say what I WANT to do...but I WONT do it. Does that make sense????

If I were you I'd have ignored her text msg completely. Then you can sit back and know you had the last word - because you never read hers .
 
Jun 19, 2004
10,860
1
81
Originally posted by: Mentat
As for this new development, you just screwed yourself. You made first contact, that's a big no no in this situation.

What the he** you talking about man. I didnt make any contact with her. Since last night I havnt talked to her. Before I left last night I left her that note. That was the last time I have ever, and will ever talk to her. I say what I WANT to do...but I WONT do it. Does that make sense????


Not really, and I'll tell you why. Your OP had no mention of leaving a note. You pretty much said you read what you read on her cell phone, got your sh1t, and left.

The post a few posts back is the first time you mention leaving her a note and you make it sound as if that was something you just did, or did after the fact of leaving.

Either way, it was still a stupid move.
 

Mentat

Member
Oct 3, 2006
125
0
0
Originally posted by: apac

If I were you I'd have ignored her text msg completely. Then you can sit back and know you had the last word - because you never read hers .

now thats just plain ignorance. . .ignorance is bliss??? ...Not too fond of that quote, sounds like a lazy arse would say that.
 

DougK62

Diamond Member
Mar 28, 2001
8,035
6
81
Originally posted by: Mentat
As for this new development, you just screwed yourself. You made first contact, that's a big no no in this situation.

What the he** you talking about man. I didnt make any contact with her. Since last night I havnt talked to her. Before I left last night I left her that note. That was the last time I have ever, and will ever talk to her. I say what I WANT to do...but I WONT do it. Does that make sense????

That note was a big mistake.

 

Mentat

Member
Oct 3, 2006
125
0
0
Originally posted by: DougK62
Originally posted by: Mentat
As for this new development, you just screwed yourself. You made first contact, that's a big no no in this situation.

What the he** you talking about man. I didnt make any contact with her. Since last night I havnt talked to her. Before I left last night I left her that note. That was the last time I have ever, and will ever talk to her. I say what I WANT to do...but I WONT do it. Does that make sense????

That note was a big mistake.

how?
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
4
61
Originally posted by: Mentat
As for this new development, you just screwed yourself. You made first contact, that's a big no no in this situation.

What the he** you talking about man. I didnt make any contact with her. Since last night I havnt talked to her. Before I left last night I left her that note. That was the last time I have ever, and will ever talk to her. I say what I WANT to do...but I WONT do it. Does that make sense????

Look, she made her choice, and you weren't it. It sucks, but that's the way it is. Don't flatter her by letting her see how much you regret losing her. She doesn't deserve it, and she doesn't deserve you.
 

stockjock

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2000
4,205
2
76
quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by: stockjock
To quote one of our greatest philosphers of our current times, Jeff Foxworthy, "if she says she needs some time away, then what's she really telling you is that if she hasn't already riden the pony then she has at least cut one from the herd and has the saddle out and ready! " end quote!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Ha! funny and knowledgeable. nice quote.

Think about it...all your problems started happening when "The Breaks" started
 

Mentat

Member
Oct 3, 2006
125
0
0
working off of what Lance said earlier, maybe I should respond with:

"Look, I have no interest in you anymore. There are a lot more girls out there that I *can* trust, one of them will make me happy."

(i altered what he said a little)

What-cha-think?
 

Darthvoy

Golden Member
Aug 3, 2004
1,825
1
0
Originally posted by: Mentat
Background: My girlfriend and I had been going out for a year and a half when she decided to take a break. She decides to take a break and cuts all communication for three days straight. She says she is willing to talk to me when we initially go on this "break," saying she 'needs time away b/c we are fighting too much,' but talking to me consists of ten minutes conversations in the morning through AIM and then saying "ok, ttyl" and ttyl apparently means "ill talk to you tomorrow" . . . b/c that?s what happens. During the last year and a half each night she has called/texted/AIM'ed me concerning where I have been, how i have been doing, what time I am going to talk to her tomorrow....then, all of a sudden, she doesn't care. It's as if I was cut overnight, from my perspective.

Now in talking to my friends I realize this change did NOT, most likely, happen overnight. There was this other guy that she knew from two years ago that I think had interest in her but im not sure of. Anyway, two weeks before she took her break with me, I took a break from her b/c I needed to think about what I wanted to do in my life. What direction I wanted to follow in life and more personal questions that needed to be answered rather than relationship questions. So it was at that time, that she starts working out with this guy at the gym. It was b/c I took a break from her that she decided to "change her lifestyle." One of the things she wanted to change was her fitness level. . .so she went decided to work out every weekday with this guy when I was on a break with her. After the break we end up back together and she seems changed. I learned that she and this guy were supposed to work out together and I was naturally concerned that she would do this...her response was "we are just friends. I think of him like an older brother. You have NOTHING to worry about." I bring it up again later, her response "You have NOTHING to worry about. Even if, for SOME reason we ended up not together I wouldn't see myself with him." Two weeks pass and she takes a break from me...three days pass and then she breaks up with me.

We talk very little for the next 1.5 weeks and then I ask her if she wants to watch a some LOST. She says alright. So I bring over some beer and we watch LOST and such. During LOST she is texting like 4-5 times back and fourth so I ask her "who is that." She says "its my friend." I say "what's up with her?" she says "oh, she is having problems with her boyfriend. he doesnt like the new place she is living. he says she doesn?t give him as much time as she used to and that the bed she has to sleep on is too small." I say "alright" but think to myself "bull sh*t, its probably that other guy." We continue to watch LOST, she gets more texts...so I say "gezzzz, tell her to stop texting to you...." she responds with "she is having problems, ill tell her goodnight." I say "is it really your friend" she says "yea" i say "you are lying to me" she gets defensive and says "its her! you think im lying!!?" I just leave it at that. We watch some more. The beer eventually gets to her and she falls asleep.

As she is sleeping, i know this is kinda assy of me, but i go over and check who she is texting. It is to that other guy. He says stuff like "hey, hope you sleep well tonight." "can we wake up tomorrow early and get married?" "you are the only girl i ever want to kiss again" "I love you baby" (news to me they kissed. fu*kin kissed less than two weeks after she broke up with me. WTH. On top of that they say they LOVE each other. We were broken up less than two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it just me, or is that F'ed up???) And she responds with stuff like "i love you too baby" "hey text me when you get off work tomorrow" "can you come and pick me up from work tomorrow???" "I'm here watching this show and this guy lost his loved one...all i can think about is holding you and kissing you" (WTF. . .we were together for a year and a half and within less than two weeks she is on to the next guy!?)

I knew it. My thoughts were right. Her words of "he is like an older brother" "even if we were to break up for some reason, I would never see myself with him" ... they were all false.

So I put her phone down, picked up my stuff, and left.

She is Cut

Update:

I left her a note before I left the night of, basically saying:

-Hope you guys have a fruitful and wonderful relationship together
-I dont appreciate being lied to, I never treated you dishonestly
-Have a good life

She Texts me back today saying:
"I will have you know. I left you for no one except myself. The new guy is a new development. Believe what you want"

You know what I think: So what...if you guys decided to be together TODAY that would be too soon. Give yourself some F'ing time, like at least couple weeks, to recuperate. my god!


Sounds like you took it like man. Unlike others here who cry and whine when they break up with their g/f. This relationship didn't work out and just learn from it and move on. The same happened to me and wen I found out she had lied to me I told her, "you could have just told me you found someone else instead of lying to me," (I was more pissed at the fact she had lied to me than her finding someone new) and then I said, "I wish you good luck and I will never be talking you again," and I moved on.
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: Mentat
working off of what Lance said earlier, maybe I should respond with:

"Look, I have no interest in you anymore. There are a lot more girls out there that I *can* trust, one of them will make me happy."

(i altered what he said a little)

What-cha-think?

DON'T RESPOND PERIOD. JEEZ. "CUT" MEANS CUT!!

edit: and the sheer fact that you're considering sending something back says you still have interest in her, and she'll know it if you send it.
 

homercles337

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2004
6,340
3
71
D00d, chics are like monkeys. They NEVER let go of one vine before grabbing another. I just went through 8 months of HELL because of this fact.
 

stockjock

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2000
4,205
2
76
What-cha-think?
OK...I know I'm a lot older than you and have been through like 20 of these "breakup" thingys (including a wife that left me for another man)...Listen to whateveryone is telling you...DON'T CALL HER ANYMORE! Move on with your life. It hurts...it sucks...it hurts and it sucks...now get in your car and drive to the nearest strip club and look at some new boobies!!!

This advice is free from this old fart!!
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
4
61
Don't respond to her, don't call, don't acknowledge her existence. She's dead to you - or should be, if you have any self-respect at all.

 

Darthvoy

Golden Member
Aug 3, 2004
1,825
1
0
Originally posted by: Mentat
working off of what Lance said earlier, maybe I should respond with:

"Look, I have no interest in you anymore. There are a lot more girls out there that I *can* trust, one of them will make me happy."

(i altered what he said a little)

What-cha-think?

Whatever you do don't contact her at all anymore not matter what. Just move on. If you respond in some way will have some sort of satisfaction.
 

homercles337

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2004
6,340
3
71
Originally posted by: Mentat
working off of what Lance said earlier, maybe I should respond with:

"Look, I have no interest in you anymore. There are a lot more girls out there that I *can* trust, one of them will make me happy."

(i altered what he said a little)

What-cha-think?

Dont even give her the satisfaction. Cut off ALL communication. Just let her stew in her own thoughts. Thats what im trying to do now. Day 6 and counting...good luck and stay strong.
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: homercles337
Originally posted by: Mentat
working off of what Lance said earlier, maybe I should respond with:

"Look, I have no interest in you anymore. There are a lot more girls out there that I *can* trust, one of them will make me happy."

(i altered what he said a little)

What-cha-think?

Dont even give her the satisfaction. Cut off ALL communication. Just let her stew in her own thoughts. Thats what im trying to do now. Day 6 and counting...good luck and stay strong.

:thumbsup:
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
A break is never acceptable in a long term relationship. In a healthy relationship, having someone who loves you around isn't going to stop you from thinking or reflecting on your life or whatever. If you don't want to see someone on a particular night, you should just be able to say "I won't be good company tonight, i'll talk to you tomorrow."

If what you're thinking about during the break is if you want to remain with the person or not, then the relationship is done anyway. Not because you have problems in the relationship, but because your solution to fix them isn't to communicate with the othe person about what needs to be changed for you both to be happy.
 

stockjock

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2000
4,205
2
76
OK...Idea for Mentat and homercles337...both you guys need to meet up and hold each other accountable and then go to the strip club. Best medicine in the world...see some new boobies!
 

Mentat

Member
Oct 3, 2006
125
0
0
Originally posted by: Darthvoy


The same happened to me and wen I found out she had lied to me I told her, "you could have just told me you found someone else instead of lying to me," (I was more pissed at the fact she had lied to me than her finding someone new)

EXACTLY! couldnt agree more! She is deluding herself, protecting conciones by thinking she didn't leave me for him. That IS the reason she did it...its so apperant.
 
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