YAGT: Long Distance Relationships...

[Danman]

So, I believe I am in one now.

Lemme give everyone a run down for everyone on what happened this weekend. One of my best friends from high school got in contact with me around Thanksgiving of last year and we've been just talking a lot since then. His new girlfriend of two years is great, they are really serious, live together and she is awesome. We just connected right away, so we talk all of the time.

So anyways, we all took a trip to her parent's house in North Carolina this weekend. My friend's gf got two of her best friends to come, and she has been trying to get me to meet one of them. I started talking to this girl last week and we just had the same personalities and she was basically what I was looking for so I knew this was gonna go somewhere.

We meet last Friday, drive up to NC and start having a great time. My friend's gf told me before that her friend is super, super shy and really hasn't been with anyone. Well, it was like totally opposite. It was like it was unreal, we have the exact same personalities, same maturity level, basically what I'm looking for. So we decided to try it out (be a couple) and see how it goes.

Here's the problem.
She lives in Tallahassee. I live in Orlando. That is a 3 and a half to 4 hour drive EACH way. It's about 50 dollars round trip with gas and tolls. It figures I find someone I really connected with and want to be with and she is in the panhandle of this sh!t state.

Second, she has never dated anyone before. First relationship for her, she is 20, almost 21 and I'm 19 almost 20. Last guy she kissed was when she was 15, she is sheltered but really sweet. So, this is her first relationship, and I'm not sure how this is going to go. I've been in a couple, one really serious relationship, so I know what to expect.

I'm going back up there this weekend to hang out and meet her parents, she wanted me to meet her parents so that would ease their mind so she could come down and visit me in the future. I'm really stuck here, I'm not sure if I should really pursue with this and follow my heart or just ignore it. The money is not the issue, I have that taken care of. I just feel that we are so far away and I'm spending so much time on this what if it fails? What did I miss her in my own hometown at my own college? My gut instinct is telling me to really continue with this because it looks like a good future, and it's usually always right. But again, I'm getting mixed vibes from all of my friends. Some of them are telling me to go for it, and some aren't.

So I come to Anandtech asking for advice, again.

BTW, there may be a future with this, she needs to go to a state college and she could go to UCF (where I go) to finish up her Bachelor's degree since she's done with her AA after this term. I've never really hit it off this fast with a girl, and we really like each other. So I'm stuck.

 

[maziwanka]

honestly, go with your gut.

and as for her inexperience in the dating realm, i wouldn't sweat it. things will work out.

 

[PHiuR]

go for it...see what happens...

 

[TheLonelyPhoenix]

Okay, this YAGT fad has to end.

Hit 'em with the link, M4H.

 

[radioouman]

Long distance relationships are really quite good with two dedicated people. It makes the time you spend together that much more valuable. Yes, it is difficult to leave each other, but once you are finally able to get closer to each other, it helps you appreciate the time that you are able to spend with that person.

My advice is to pursue the relationship until something else breaks it apart. Don't let the distance divide the two of you.

 

[blackdogdeek]

go for it or you will always regret it.

if it doesn't work out, i doubt you will regret it as much as you would have if you never tried.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
Okay, this YAGT fad has to end.

Hit 'em with the link, M4H.

BLAM!

C'mon, sign up. There's pr0n in the Adult section.

- M4H

 

[Semidevil]

I'm in a long distance relationship now(across the ocean), and things are tough, but it can work out. Honestly, I think you have it tougher then me. For me, I can use the ocean as the excuse to not go visit her, but with you, the 3 hour drive or bus trip is no excuse....so you need to make sure you are willing to travel to see her a lot.....holidays, breaks, when she is in need....stuff like that.

and then, when it comes to serious discussion about future, be very careful.....me and my s/o had fights about things like where to settle down in the future, when to see eachother next, and setting times to talk on phone and online....

it's tough, but can work out.

 

[bleeb]

The biggest mistake is asking foos on ATOT for girl advice. =)

'nuff said.

 

[nardvark]

As someone who has been in a long-distance relationship for his entire undergraduate career, I'm obviously biased, but that said...

Your gut knows far better than your friends or brain do. When I went off to college, everyone said I couldn't possibly keep the relationship together, and one person went so far as to say "the women you meet are just going to blow you away, they're going to be in a completely different ballpark from what you're used to."

That said, the women I have met haven't made me think twice about staying in my relationship.
Best of luck.

 

[flamingelephant]

try it, see how it goes.... you arnt dating yet, so you can still feel free to do other stuff as wel, until it becomes official. then play it by ear....
A FEW DATES DOES NOT MAKE IT A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ITS NOT LIKE THE 50's WHERE YOU GIVE SOMEONE YOUR PIN OR YOUR JACKET

 

[Baked]

Looks like you just found yourself a slave. Congrats.

 

[Danman]

Originally posted by: Semidevil
I'm in a long distance relationship now(across the ocean), and things are tough, but it can work out. Honestly, I think you have it tougher then me. For me, I can use the ocean as the excuse to not go visit her, but with you, the 3 hour drive or bus trip is no excuse....so you need to make sure you are willing to travel to see her a lot.....holidays, breaks, when she is in need....stuff like that.

and then, when it comes to serious discussion about future, be very careful.....me and my s/o had fights about things like where to settle down in the future, when to see eachother next, and setting times to talk on phone and online....

it's tough, but can work out.

Thanks. She just called me and we were talking for a little bit, we just feel the same way right now and we are gonna see how it goes.

I've met many women and they are just really crazy and problematic, she just seems different. So, we will see how it goes. Like someone said, I don't know it until I try. And if I don't, I'll just regret it.

 

[Danman]

Originally posted by: Baked
Looks like you just found yourself a slave. Congrats.

:roll:

Right. Thanks for the mature comment.

 

[Tifababy]

My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 7 years. We met in high school and then my parents moved 5.5 hours away. We both went to different colleges. And now we have both graduated, but I work near where my parent's new house is and she still lives with her parents. Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Since I graduated (last may) I have driven the 5.5 hours (350 miles) from MN to chicago about 3 weekends a month. So if you're dedicated and really have feelings for her, you can definitely make it work. That being said, I can't wait until this summer when we're married and I don't have to drive to see her anymore.

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: Tifababy
My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 7 years. We met in high school and then my parents moved 5.5 hours away. We both went to different colleges. And now we have both graduated, but I work near where my parent's new house is and she still lives with her parents. Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Since I graduated (last may) I have driven the 5.5 hours (350 miles) from MN to chicago about 3 weekends a month. So if you're dedicated and really have feelings for her, you can definitely make it work. That being said, I can't wait until this summer when we're married and I don't have to drive to see her anymore.

Is this a joke? This might be the most retarded thing I've ever read.

 

[Tifababy]

Originally posted by: Blieb

Originally posted by: Tifababy
My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 7 years. We met in high school and then my parents moved 5.5 hours away. We both went to different colleges. And now we have both graduated, but I work near where my parent's new house is and she still lives with her parents. Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Since I graduated (last may) I have driven the 5.5 hours (350 miles) from MN to chicago about 3 weekends a month. So if you're dedicated and really have feelings for her, you can definitely make it work. That being said, I can't wait until this summer when we're married and I don't have to drive to see her anymore.

Is this a joke? This might be the most retarded thing I've ever read.

Nope, not a joke @sshat...put over 40,000 miles on my car the last year.

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: Tifababy

Originally posted by: Blieb

Originally posted by: Tifababy
My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 7 years. We met in high school and then my parents moved 5.5 hours away. We both went to different colleges. And now we have both graduated, but I work near where my parent's new house is and she still lives with her parents. Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Since I graduated (last may) I have driven the 5.5 hours (350 miles) from MN to chicago about 3 weekends a month. So if you're dedicated and really have feelings for her, you can definitely make it work. That being said, I can't wait until this summer when we're married and I don't have to drive to see her anymore.

Is this a joke? This might be the most retarded thing I've ever read.

Nope, not a joke @sshat...put over 40,000 miles on my car the last year.

Want a

 

[PanzerIV]

Originally posted by: Blieb

Originally posted by: Tifababy
My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 7 years. We met in high school and then my parents moved 5.5 hours away. We both went to different colleges. And now we have both graduated, but I work near where my parent's new house is and she still lives with her parents. Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Since I graduated (last may) I have driven the 5.5 hours (350 miles) from MN to chicago about 3 weekends a month. So if you're dedicated and really have feelings for her, you can definitely make it work. That being said, I can't wait until this summer when we're married and I don't have to drive to see her anymore.

Is this a joke? This might be the most retarded thing I've ever read.

Retarded why? Because he's in love and wants to see his g.f.? Sounds reallly dumb to me. :roll:

You're probably still dating your right hand.

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

Not readingthread.

in short, cheat all you want. You are going to breeak up eventually anyways.

BYE!

 

[Blieb]

dbl

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: Tifababy

Originally posted by: Blieb

Originally posted by: Tifababy
My fiance and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 7 years. We met in high school and then my parents moved 5.5 hours away. We both went to different colleges. And now we have both graduated, but I work near where my parent's new house is and she still lives with her parents. Long distance relationships can definitely work out. Since I graduated (last may) I have driven the 5.5 hours (350 miles) from MN to chicago about 3 weekends a month. So if you're dedicated and really have feelings for her, you can definitely make it work. That being said, I can't wait until this summer when we're married and I don't have to drive to see her anymore.

Is this a joke? This might be the most retarded thing I've ever read.

Nope, not a joke @sshat...put over 40,000 miles on my car the last year.

The point is. You'd think in the past DECADE you could have managed to end up closer on the map. That's all, just my opinion that you're not trying very hard.

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: PanzerIV
Retarded why? Because he's in love and wants to see his g.f.? Sounds reallly dumb to me. :roll:

You're probably still dating your right hand.

Hey, it's almost 1, shouldn't you be out at recess?

 

[Blieb]

ahhhhh wait, I got offtrack here on the sideshow ...

Danman ... I think LDR's can work. HOWEVER, I am a firm believer that you shouldn't alter your path.

Don't change schools to be closer, unless you were thinking about it BEFORE hand.
Don't sit at home all the time on the PC or phone, when you might normally be out with friends.

I think that when you get down the line, and reflect, if by chance things don't work out, you will resent the whole thing and regret things you coulda-shoulda-woulda-done ...

But at the same time ... you guys could meet in Gainesville ... that's a 2hr drive for each of you. Try it out for a while, see how things go.

edit: by a while, I don't mean 7 years, just want to clarify

 

[GoingUp]

i say give it a try, but ive been in a long distance relationship and they suck.... its a lot of lonelyness and all of the work and none of the fun