Okay guys, here is my story. I have been dating this girl (she works in the same building as I do). She is very pretty and she is a single mom (that does not bother me much).
I am single, 26, asian (Virgin BTW ) and she is 28, divorced, hispanic.
We spoke a lot over the phone initially and still speak like 4-5 times a day over the phone. Even now, I call her frequently and on the days that I do not call her, she calls me frequently. After talking over the phone for a long time, we decided to date.
The first date was very nice. We just met for some coffee and did some shopping and some romantic kisses <wowza> . After the first date, she said that she liked me and wanted to date again. She stood me up for like the next 5 dates or so.. I ended up waiting (one time it was raining very badly) and each time she came up with some or the other reason.
Being the understanding guy that I am, I did not let these small incidents make any difference in my feelings towards her. We dated again a couple of weeks back and on this date we did lots of kissing and caressing each other.
Since then, we talk a lot and she says she wants to see me, but she has no time. She works on the weekend too sometimes. I am leaving on a vacation soon for 4 weeks and I would not be able to see her during that time frame. She says that she has no time to see me before I leave for vacation.
Here is my problem. I somehow feel that she is not serious about me (though she says she is). I am very very understanding and I have never been rude to her. Though she stood me up on the date for 5-6 times, I have never let that come in the way of my feelings.
I feel that I am giving her my 100% love and attention, but she seems to be too busy with her own life. I feel attention deprived (yes, I am an attention whore. )
At this point, I feel helpless that things are beyond my control. What should I do now?
Cliffs:
- Dated a girl a couple of times. Hit it off really well.
- She is interested in me and I am interested in her.
- She sometimes does not take me seriously. (Stood me up on dates 5-6 times)
- She has extremely busy life. I feel deprived of love and attention.
- What should I do?
Update #1 Okay guys, after reading all the comments, I decided that I will stand up for myself. I called her today and told her what I expect from her. She told me that she has too many things going on in her life right now and cannot give me all the love and attention. I told her that we need to go our own ways...
She told me that she wanted to be at least friends with me. I said that I was looking for a girlfriend and not a friend. Sorry!!!
I have deleted her phone number from my phone. She has called me a couple of times after that telling me that she was sorry. Though I was hurt from inside, I am acting as though I have taken it well.
So here I am.. singe with a broken heart. :brokenheart:
Well.. time to look for someone else.
Update #2 Okay. !!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY MAN CARD !!!!!
Interesting turn of events. I have not called her since I read replies in this thread. She called me several times and yesterday I finally recieved her call. She said she wanted to meet me one last time. (Coz I said that I was sad and not doing good. Honest reply).
We met in a mall and for the first time, I did not kiss her. I just gave her a short hug. We walked in the mall and I did not even hold her hands. She tried to hold my hands, but I just put both my hands in my pockets.
Though I was broken from inside, I was playing tough. We went around the mall for like an hour. She tried to strike a conversation with me, but I just replied back in Yes / No / Maybe answers.
Here comes the best part. As we were about to depart, I gave her a hug and said that this was the last time I was going to see her. I also told her "you decided that I could not be your boyfriend, so I made a decision today that I would not see you as a friend. You cannot make all the decisions."
She told me that she had made a hasty decision. She said that she wanted me to continue to be her boyfriend. She said that she cancelled her work for the weekend to see me. She also promised to see me every weekend and not stand me up on dates.
At that point of time, she leaned forward and kissed me. We must have kissed for like 10 minutes. (Boy, I am getting an erection even thinking about it ). We had never kissed like that before.
I finally told her that I liked her a lot, but I need some time to think about it.
I am single, 26, asian (Virgin BTW ) and she is 28, divorced, hispanic.
We spoke a lot over the phone initially and still speak like 4-5 times a day over the phone. Even now, I call her frequently and on the days that I do not call her, she calls me frequently. After talking over the phone for a long time, we decided to date.
The first date was very nice. We just met for some coffee and did some shopping and some romantic kisses <wowza> . After the first date, she said that she liked me and wanted to date again. She stood me up for like the next 5 dates or so.. I ended up waiting (one time it was raining very badly) and each time she came up with some or the other reason.
Being the understanding guy that I am, I did not let these small incidents make any difference in my feelings towards her. We dated again a couple of weeks back and on this date we did lots of kissing and caressing each other.
Since then, we talk a lot and she says she wants to see me, but she has no time. She works on the weekend too sometimes. I am leaving on a vacation soon for 4 weeks and I would not be able to see her during that time frame. She says that she has no time to see me before I leave for vacation.
Here is my problem. I somehow feel that she is not serious about me (though she says she is). I am very very understanding and I have never been rude to her. Though she stood me up on the date for 5-6 times, I have never let that come in the way of my feelings.
I feel that I am giving her my 100% love and attention, but she seems to be too busy with her own life. I feel attention deprived (yes, I am an attention whore. )
At this point, I feel helpless that things are beyond my control. What should I do now?
Cliffs:
- Dated a girl a couple of times. Hit it off really well.
- She is interested in me and I am interested in her.
- She sometimes does not take me seriously. (Stood me up on dates 5-6 times)
- She has extremely busy life. I feel deprived of love and attention.
- What should I do?
Update #1 Okay guys, after reading all the comments, I decided that I will stand up for myself. I called her today and told her what I expect from her. She told me that she has too many things going on in her life right now and cannot give me all the love and attention. I told her that we need to go our own ways...
She told me that she wanted to be at least friends with me. I said that I was looking for a girlfriend and not a friend. Sorry!!!
I have deleted her phone number from my phone. She has called me a couple of times after that telling me that she was sorry. Though I was hurt from inside, I am acting as though I have taken it well.
So here I am.. singe with a broken heart. :brokenheart:
Well.. time to look for someone else.
Update #2 Okay. !!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY MAN CARD !!!!!
Interesting turn of events. I have not called her since I read replies in this thread. She called me several times and yesterday I finally recieved her call. She said she wanted to meet me one last time. (Coz I said that I was sad and not doing good. Honest reply).
We met in a mall and for the first time, I did not kiss her. I just gave her a short hug. We walked in the mall and I did not even hold her hands. She tried to hold my hands, but I just put both my hands in my pockets.
Though I was broken from inside, I was playing tough. We went around the mall for like an hour. She tried to strike a conversation with me, but I just replied back in Yes / No / Maybe answers.
Here comes the best part. As we were about to depart, I gave her a hug and said that this was the last time I was going to see her. I also told her "you decided that I could not be your boyfriend, so I made a decision today that I would not see you as a friend. You cannot make all the decisions."
She told me that she had made a hasty decision. She said that she wanted me to continue to be her boyfriend. She said that she cancelled her work for the weekend to see me. She also promised to see me every weekend and not stand me up on dates.
At that point of time, she leaned forward and kissed me. We must have kissed for like 10 minutes. (Boy, I am getting an erection even thinking about it ). We had never kissed like that before.
I finally told her that I liked her a lot, but I need some time to think about it.