YAGT: (seriously) Megan is not pregnant. Our engagement is over.

Originally posted by: spidey07
women cheat. its what they do.

"I don't feel loved/romantic...maybe if I get some I'll feel loved."

They generally do it because they're not getting something they need from a relationship and go outside it to find it rather than actually address the problem.

It means they have deep rooted problems. Avoid.

All humans "cheat".

Simply because monogamy is not in human nature. No matter how much you force your willpower.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Tomato

Originally posted by: spidey07
women cheat. its what they do.

"I don't feel loved/romantic...maybe if I get some I'll feel loved."

They generally do it because they're not getting something they need from a relationship and go outside it to find it rather than actually address the problem.

It means they have deep rooted problems. Avoid.

Please note men cheat too, spidey. For differing reasons, though... "there was a hot piece of ass in my face so I tapped it."

yeah, but we don't do it to fill a void/hole. we do it just to get something different.

 

[Bumrush99]

Didn't go through the entire post, but after reading what you wrote I'll make it simple:

Once a hoe always a hoe.
Don't ever forget that. There are plenty of great women out there that are loyal. It's better you found out now rather than later with kids in the mix and a lot more invested in to the relationship.

 

[SP33Demon]

In the words of Snoop Dogg: You can't turn a ho into a housewife.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: isekii
what's with the same gay ass pics anyways.
you've broadcasted her enough. More than likely, it's probably imprinted on some of the members brains by now.

oh yea btw you'll prolly end up taking her back as usual.

Wow that is TOTALLY not cool buddy. Keep that sh!t outta the thread.

I hope it's alright. You know you tried, kick her ass out the door.

As I say to my girlfriend, the second you do that sh!t you're no longer my problem.

OR say that, Papacito ain't to good to ya now is he?

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Tomato

Originally posted by: spidey07
women cheat. its what they do.

"I don't feel loved/romantic...maybe if I get some I'll feel loved."

They generally do it because they're not getting something they need from a relationship and go outside it to find it rather than actually address the problem.

It means they have deep rooted problems. Avoid.

Please note men cheat too, spidey. For differing reasons, though... "there was a hot piece of ass in my face so I tapped it."

yeah, but we don't do it to fill a void/hole. we do it just to get something different.

Some women don't do it to fill a void... women are sexual creatures too, and sometimes they just want a piece of ass as well. Granted, many do, but some don't.

And plenty of women grow out of the "ho" phase, once they mature/start a family/etc. It's called maturity.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: jumpr

Originally posted by: Nanotech
I don't see any reason for you two to sit down and talk anymore unless you really want to. Get the ring and sell it that will be about as much closure as you can expect out of this and honestly much more than most people get.

I've been in long relationships but few over a year and none so serious. I can't imagine you moving on very quickly but if you can more power to you. Best advice I can give you is to just think of some cool ways to spend your free time and turn the entire experience into a funny story where she lost out big. Sounds like a pretty stupid and immature girl really you should consider yourself lucky for having her out of your life.

$13,000 cc debit
$350/mo. car + insurance I'm sure
no job
no ring
and your initial on the small of her back in hot pink

Ha, LOL

I agree - for all the vanity Red has shown on this board and all the character flaws that are so fragrantly displayed between both he and his financee, he's really the one who gets the last laugh out of this situation, and no one can blame him for that.

I think the problem with that chick is that she wasn't the 35 year old without a mortgage. She lived life WAY to to other extreme and now she's sh!t broke on the curb. Thats poetic justice.

 

[Judgement]

There is no question that you have to completely turn your back on this girl.

If anyone in that situation was actually considering staying with an admitted repeat offender they should be asking themselves, "I've already wasted 3 years of my life with her, how many more am I willing to waste before I catch her cheating again?"

Cheaters don't learn to stop cheating, they learn how not to be caught when they cheat

 

[Shawn]

good for you. don't ever take her back!

 

[Ninjja]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: armatron
Sucks dude... good to hear that you're over it pretty quickly.. also good to hear that something like this didn't happen later on (after marriage)

They will be back together and engaged within the next 12 hours.

Dude, I mean, I know this sounds 'young' to us, after all they are just two kids that were in an engagement that to most they seem to young to be in, but for real, it's the most they've experienced so far in terms of relationships, so stop sh!tting on him and his thread (sorry, i know it's not just you, i just replied to your post) and if you have nothing of help to him to say, don't post. The reason I say this, is that if they really thought that they were ready to get married, more power to them. And now that it's over, don't be a d!ck about it. It just adds salt to an open wound.

I guess the reason I'm defensive for Red, is that you sound like a pretty decent chap. You sound like you really do love her and were serious about your engagement, although she sounds as though she liked the idea of an engagement more than the reality of actually dealing with being in one. Thing is part of me identifies with the girl she is, because she gets herself into trouble and then suddenly, when her situation is not so palatable, she runs to you and just wants to be comforted by you (hence the "just hold me" part). I've been there (although not to the extent that your girl has), and it all comes down to the fact that I believe most girls are illogical at that age ( - I know some think they are at all ages ). I'm pretty sure she does love you a lot, but it's so easy to blow hot and cold. Honestly, if she has any sense (which I'm not too sure of given the hot pink 'J', j/k) she'll become more steady and reasoned in just a couple of years. And the worst thing is that even though she says she realises what she had now it's gone, she'll realise it ten times more a couple of years later.

I dunno, just some thoughts on your situation. I think the fact you feel bad for her is nice of you and shows that you love her, but maybe you could just give her some advice on how to deal with it (how to go about paying it off) rather than helping her financially yourself. You're so young, that's a good thing, once you get over it (or, I dunno, maybe you will get back together as minendo predicts ) either way, you'll see how silly this all looks after you've put some time in between yourself and this situation.

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: Kev

Originally posted by: Red

Describing someone as a Mexican when they're from Mexico doesn't qualify a person as a racist :roll:

Well.. I think we all know what his frame of mind is and he does call him "Pecho" ... please, even you're not that naive.

Edit: You're probably a "white" person. That explains it. If you read the rest of the posts, people who actually are Mexican are taking offense. If I was Mexican I'd take offense too.

I'm really not meaning to be offensive. Megan told me they called him Pecho because his boobs were so big? (Pecs?) What does pecho mean?

it means bleeb is a fvcking moron, ignore his dumb ass[/quote]

KEV is a racist. ignore this retarded loser. The point I'm trying to make is that whatever word you choose, the way you use it has a lot to do with what it means.

"lovely human" is a bundle of sticks, but if you call someone it, it has a completely different meaning. Same things goes for "Mexican". The way that it was used had an offensive tone to it. Now for idiots like KEV who don't think it's not being racist... they are just idiots so IGNORE them.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: SampSon
All humans "cheat".

Simply because monogamy is not in human nature. No matter how much you force your willpower.

Lots of promiscuous people use that excuse

I know way, WAY too many faithful people, men and women, for me to believe monogamy is not in human nature, "no matter how much we force it".

Originally posted by: spidey07
Etiquette goes like this...

woman breaks it off - man gets ring back.
man breaks it off - womans discretion to give ring back.

In my world this is how it works.

Woman breaks it off "friendly" - she gives back the ring, symbol that it's over.
Man breaks it off "friendly" - woman's discretion to give it back
Woman breaks it off because he's been cheating - she KEEPS the ring no matter what, plus anything else he's given her, sells them, and warns all her friends about the guy.
Man breaks it off because she's been cheating - he gets the ring, even if it means by force, and dumps her on the curb.

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: Tomato
Why do you keep stressing the fact they're Mexican?

If they had been caucasian, would you keep saying "She was thinking of the good 'ol days when she was 17 and 18 and getting laid out by 25 year old white guys out in public."

Good for her re: what she does on her own time while single, a sexually independent/liberated woman. Sucks she cheated though. It happens, move on.

any posibile negative overtone you think you hear in the word 'Mexican' is ENTIRELY in your head. You are the one implying that 'Mexican' is degradatory and hence forth a less desirable nationality. The bias is in you, not the rest of us.

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: halik

Originally posted by: Tomato
Why do you keep stressing the fact they're Mexican?

If they had been caucasian, would you keep saying "She was thinking of the good 'ol days when she was 17 and 18 and getting laid out by 25 year old white guys out in public."

Good for her re: what she does on her own time while single, a sexually independent/liberated woman. Sucks she cheated though. It happens, move on.

any posibile negative overtone you think you hear in the word 'Mexican' is ENTIRELY in your head. You are the one implying that 'Mexican' is degradatory and hence forth a less desirable nationality. The bias is in you, not the rest of us.

I don't think so... the way that he uses the word, "Mexican" seems derogatory to me. And a few others. My bet is that minorities will see it as "racist" and others won't. The latter probably thinks that racism has been abolished here in the U.S. too.

 

[dethman]

get the ring back. that was my mistake. still paying for it.

 

[TreyRandom]

Red, I don't know if you're reading all of these responses, but here goes:

10 years ago, I was in a relationship similar to yours. The girl I was with truly wanted to get married and have a family... but she wanted the party life more, I guess. She could never control herself - cheated on me twice within 6 months that I know of - at least, she admitted it twice. I took her back the first time only because she admitted it without me catching her in a lie.

It ended after I caught her coming home with another guy when I was supposed to be at work. I thought I'd surprise her with dinner, but she wasn't home (even after she said she had a headache and was going to "take a nap". I hung out and waited for her to come home... which she did... with another guy... dressed to the nines in a dress I had bought her.

It sounds like Megan truly wanted the same thing - a nice, stable, responsible life in the suburbs, but she wasn't done "playing". However, the trust that was there between you and Megan is completely gone now. Just remember that next time, there may not be a helpful uncle to tell you when she's straying. Megan certainly didn't.

I can tell you love her, even still. But you need to stay strong and stay apart. She is not your "responsibility".

There is light at the end of the tunnel: I didn't find my soulmate until I was 29. You've got plenty of time.

Best of luck to you, man. :beer:

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: SampSon

Originally posted by: spidey07
women cheat. its what they do.

"I don't feel loved/romantic...maybe if I get some I'll feel loved."

They generally do it because they're not getting something they need from a relationship and go outside it to find it rather than actually address the problem.

It means they have deep rooted problems. Avoid.

All humans "cheat".

Simply because monogamy is not in human nature. No matter how much you force your willpower.

All humans have desires that are uncontrollable. It's whether they apease them that is the important thing. I love pizza, but I need to excercise self-control and I normally do. A woman may want to get it on with a big stud. That's not to be condemned, but what is is if she actually does it (and it happens to be while she's in another relationship).

 

[DougK62]

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: halik

Originally posted by: Tomato
Why do you keep stressing the fact they're Mexican?

If they had been caucasian, would you keep saying "She was thinking of the good 'ol days when she was 17 and 18 and getting laid out by 25 year old white guys out in public."

Good for her re: what she does on her own time while single, a sexually independent/liberated woman. Sucks she cheated though. It happens, move on.

any posibile negative overtone you think you hear in the word 'Mexican' is ENTIRELY in your head. You are the one implying that 'Mexican' is degradatory and hence forth a less desirable nationality. The bias is in you, not the rest of us.

I don't think so... the way that he uses the word, "Mexican" seems derogatory to me. And a few others. My bet is that minorities will see it as "racist" and others won't. The latter probably thinks that racism has been abolished here in the U.S. too.

Geez, let it die. What Red said is not racist. Reverse the situation in the story and make everyone Mexican, except "Pecho" is white. Red would be saying the guy is a "bulky, roid popper white guy" and no one would care.

Like the other guy said, the negative connotations are all in your head. It's not healthy to get riled up by making something out of nothing.

 

[randomlinh]

yeah, bail I would say. At least, that's my perspective. When someone cheats on you, it hurts... for a long time. When you have a family and do it, and lie and try to hide it, it just gets worse. I'm a generally forgiving person, but when somone lies and cheats.... that's it. Bye. Trust is lost, and is extremely hard to regain. There's no way of knowing if she really screwed the guy down there or not, she lied. And getting wasted ins't an excuse. Not if you're engaged.

 

[The Stigenator]

im sorry red..

but here is the deal.. all i can say is stick to your guns.. giving her a chance is an option but if you do give her a chance, do not put the ring back on the hand.. wait a while. Evidently she wasnt happy with you before and you got to weight that in your decisions.

I think you need your time off, go flirt and do stuff with other women.. what she went thru is what we guys call the woman's 21 yr old itch.. it starts around age 21..

Just let her feel for her doings and then later on decide.. at this point keep it "friends only".

well that's my $.02

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: The_good_guy
im sorry red..

but here is the deal.. all i can say is stick to your guns.. giving her a chance is an option but if you do give her a chance, do not put the ring back on the hand.. wait a while. Evidently she wasnt happy with you before and you got to weight that in your decisions.

I think you need your time off, go flirt and do stuff with other women.. what she went thru is what we guys call the woman's 21 yr old itch.. it starts around age 21..

Just let her feel for her doings and then later on decide.. at this point keep it "friends only".

well that's my $.02

congratulations on reaching life status! and good advice from a good guy!

 

[RegularK]

Originally posted by: Nebor
I think it's silly to end the relationship over this. This is 3 years of your life.... And I mean, you're in love. In the grand scheme of things, making out with Pacho is about as bad as naked pictures of her turning up on the internet. She apologizes, you move on.

I think you're being too dramatic in this situation. You should have just had a long talk about trust, and telling each other the truth, and let that be that. Instead you kinda knee-jerked and ended things.

Also, her finances don't have anything to do with anything. She's an adult, if you're serious about not being with her anymore, she can take care of herself, the same as you.

I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, like a lot of other people in this thread, but I think you should really think about the situation. Is Pach worth ending it? If something so small can end it all, maybe there was nothing there to start with.

Some things just aren't forgiveable/forgettable....Red's fiancee should have thought about the situation. apparently, she thought her make-out buddy WAS worth ending a relationship. she just seems destructive...Even if it was a mistake...when confronted or given the opportunity to be truthful..she should have taken it.

I say take the ring back, get over her, and get her uncle/aunt a fruit basket.


Cheers,
KiM

 

[OutHouse]

people make mistakes. give her a second chance.

 

[randomlinh]

Originally posted by: Citrix
people make mistakes. give her a second chance.

Out of curiousity, have you ever been in a situation when someone cheated on another? I'm not trying to say anything, but a lot of ppl say this but have never experienced it. the essence of trust is completely lost. At least for me, this is something that is extremely difficult to get back. Probably just because of how i've grown up.

 

Lots of promiscuous people use that excuse

I know way, WAY too many faithful people, men and women, for me to believe monogamy is not in human nature, "no matter how much we force it".

All humans have desires that are uncontrollable. It's whether they apease them that is the important thing. I love pizza, but I need to excercise self-control and I normally do. A woman may want to get it on with a big stud. That's not to be condemned, but what is is if she actually does it (and it happens to be while she's in another relationship).

Don't mistake will power for instinct.