YAGT: So my girlfriend went to chill with a guy friend...

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brandonbull

Diamond Member
May 3, 2005
6,338
1,215
126
Originally posted by: themusgrat
ur screwed

That's what the dude said to the girlfriend after 7 hours of hittin' it. You know that guy is saying something like "choo-choo motherfvcker!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take a couple of weeks for tact lessons.

Anandtech Moderator


 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Basically your GF is dating other guys to get you to break up with her.

That way she's not a bad person and feels good that you are the bad person that killed the relationship.

It's weird, but that is exactly what is going on in her mind. She's following the all too familiar path that EVERYBODY has been through.
 

Iron Addict

Senior member
Jul 5, 2006
340
0
0
Background: Girlfriend of 3 years of serious relationship went out with a guy friend and Im worried & upset.

She had ended her job interview at 4:20PM and called me saying, "I got done with my job interview and my friend xxxxx is gonna pick me up and hang out. My battery is really low and my phone's about to die. Bye." So, it's 11:31PM and it's been 7hours and 11minutes. Her phone is dead and she's not home yet. I have no way to contacting her since her cell is dead and I wonder what a girl and a guy could do for this long on a Tuesday. I'm worried and upset. I barely know this guy. Am i being unreasonable and should i act upset when who knows when she gets home? What should I do?!


Update #1
First, I'd like to say that she does not lie to me. Many of you would say that I'm a fool or blind, but I know it for a fact. She never lies to her parents or anybody, that's just how she is believe it or not. Second of all, she's a very rightous person where she's 100% convinced that she would not do wrong things and even if she did make a mistake since it was not her intention she thinks she's not at fault.

So, the story continues...

It seems she turned off her phone when it was on the verge of death cause she needed to use it in case she needed to call her family. She called me back on the way back but phone died right after. But, this is where I made the first mistake by saying, "WTF R U DOING?!" I could tell she was upset with what i said when she called me from home. Then, we proceeded to have the "talk" for couple hours...

I don't think it's necessary to go into the details of the conversation but this is the general idea of what's wrong or not.

Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.


Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.
 

CKDragon

Diamond Member
Jan 22, 2001
3,875
0
0
Originally posted by: Chunkee
Your sir are a dolt....

beyond help....

/thread

Seriously, the likely best case scenario is that you're going to have a power struggle for as long as you're together until one of you finally stops caring for the other. That's when the real fun begins.
 

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,804
46
91
lol, how would you know she's lying unless you catch her. why do you think people lie in the 1st place?.

so ask which friends she was out with and then ask them if if its true. just ask them where they went on that particular night and if they and your gf had fun. if they say that she wasn't there or that they didn't do anything, then she lied.

so wait, she 1st went out with 1 guy alone and then went out with a bunch of guys later on?

also, she was supposed to come back to your place and went to her parent's place instead or did i read that wrong?
 

AbAbber2k

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2005
6,474
1
0
I look forward to seeing Iron Addict's next YAGT.
"YAGT: She just told me she's cheating on me.
How do I get her back!?"

:roll:

I suppose sometimes you just need to learn the hard way.
 

iamme

Lifer
Jul 21, 2001
21,058
3
0
the trust isn't there anymore. why else would you have made this and the previous thread.

if you don't trust her, the relationship has no foundation and is doomed.
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,650
203
106
Originally posted by: Iron Addict
Background: Girlfriend of 3 years of serious relationship went out with a guy friend and Im worried & upset.

She had ended her job interview at 4:20PM and called me saying, "I got done with my job interview and my friend xxxxx is gonna pick me up and hang out. My battery is really low and my phone's about to die. Bye." So, it's 11:31PM and it's been 7hours and 11minutes. Her phone is dead and she's not home yet. I have no way to contacting her since her cell is dead and I wonder what a girl and a guy could do for this long on a Tuesday. I'm worried and upset. I barely know this guy. Am i being unreasonable and should i act upset when who knows when she gets home? What should I do?!


Update #1
First, I'd like to say that she does not lie to me. Many of you would say that I'm a fool or blind, but I know it for a fact. She never lies to her parents or anybody, that's just how she is believe it or not. Second of all, she's a very rightous person where she's 100% convinced that she would not do wrong things and even if she did make a mistake since it was not her intention she thinks she's not at fault.

So, the story continues...

It seems she turned off her phone when it was on the verge of death cause she needed to use it in case she needed to call her family. She called me back on the way back but phone died right after. But, this is where I made the first mistake by saying, "WTF R U DOING?!" I could tell she was upset with what i said when she called me from home. Then, we proceeded to have the "talk" for couple hours...

I don't think it's necessary to go into the details of the conversation but this is the general idea of what's wrong or not.

Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.


Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.


she has a problem understanding and living up to the expected terms of being in a committed relationship with you.
You need to communicate what exactly is expected, and if she cannot accept those terms... its over. Every relationship has its own list of acceptables and unacceptables... if 2 peoples list dont match, then the relationship will fail.

I dont think she's ready to be tied down... this one is over for now.
 

Iron Addict

Senior member
Jul 5, 2006
340
0
0
Originally posted by: pontifex
lol, how would you know she's lying unless you catch her. why do you think people lie in the 1st place?.

so ask which friends she was out with and then ask them if if its true. just ask them where they went on that particular night and if they and your gf had fun. if they say that she wasn't there or that they didn't do anything, then she lied.

so wait, she 1st went out with 1 guy alone and then went out with a bunch of guys later on?

also, she was supposed to come back to your place and went to her parent's place instead or did i read that wrong?

we dont live together. Im down at college and she lives with her family.
 

reverend boltron

Senior member
Nov 18, 2004
945
0
76
Originally posted by: Iron Addict
Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.


Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.

Man, you have to learn to relax and not let your anger get the best of you. Seriously, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. When you act like a jackass, you'll get treated like one. Swearing and hanging up on the phone is what turns people away from you. You have to grow up a little. I'm not trying to come down on you, but you have to hear it, because if you don't, you'll continue to do this, drive people away, and end up unhappy for a long time.

If I were you, I'd apologize to your girlfriend for acting like a tool, and work on growing up. Either that, or break up with her, let her live her life, and stay single until you mature a bit and are ready for a relationship. Not trying to be mean.
 

y2kc

Platinum Member
Sep 2, 2000
2,547
0
76
Originally posted by: sao123
Originally posted by: Iron Addict
Background: Girlfriend of 3 years of serious relationship went out with a guy friend and Im worried & upset.

She had ended her job interview at 4:20PM and called me saying, "I got done with my job interview and my friend xxxxx is gonna pick me up and hang out. My battery is really low and my phone's about to die. Bye." So, it's 11:31PM and it's been 7hours and 11minutes. Her phone is dead and she's not home yet. I have no way to contacting her since her cell is dead and I wonder what a girl and a guy could do for this long on a Tuesday. I'm worried and upset. I barely know this guy. Am i being unreasonable and should i act upset when who knows when she gets home? What should I do?!


Update #1
First, I'd like to say that she does not lie to me. Many of you would say that I'm a fool or blind, but I know it for a fact. She never lies to her parents or anybody, that's just how she is believe it or not. Second of all, she's a very rightous person where she's 100% convinced that she would not do wrong things and even if she did make a mistake since it was not her intention she thinks she's not at fault.

So, the story continues...

It seems she turned off her phone when it was on the verge of death cause she needed to use it in case she needed to call her family. She called me back on the way back but phone died right after. But, this is where I made the first mistake by saying, "WTF R U DOING?!" I could tell she was upset with what i said when she called me from home. Then, we proceeded to have the "talk" for couple hours...

I don't think it's necessary to go into the details of the conversation but this is the general idea of what's wrong or not.

Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.


Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.


she has a problem understanding and living up to the expected terms of being in a committed relationship with you.
You need to communicate what exactly is expected, and if she cannot accept those terms... its over. Every relationship has its own list of acceptables and unacceptables... if 2 peoples list dont match, then the relationship will fail.

I dont think she's ready to be tied down... this one is over for now.

on the money sao.

your gf did nothing "wrong" she is simply being herself... a woman who likes being in the company of men that aren't her SO. you can try to change that if you want but you'll do nothing but breed resentment.

if you cannot deal with that (that she wants to "hang" with the fellas) you really need to let her go. all of your options suck really, moving on is the quickest way to end, and\or prevent the bad stuff that is about to happen (if it hasn't already).

 

Compton

Platinum Member
Feb 18, 2000
2,522
1
0
Originally posted by: 91TTZ
Is this guy trolling? It seems it's every week that he posts about his "girlfriend" hanging out alone with random guys. He's either a troll or a mega sucker.

I definately think he's trolling.
 
Dec 30, 2004
12,553
2
76
If this is true:
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

And you know it's not true for you (there were times when you admitted you were wrong and she was right? even better, when you were right, but you said you were wrong?)

then its time to leave. You won't be able to live with her unless you're willing to give your whole life. Nuff said. Topic should end.
 
Dec 30, 2004
12,553
2
76
Originally posted by: reverend boltron
Originally posted by: Iron Addict
Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.


Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.

Man, you have to learn to relax and not let your anger get the best of you. Seriously, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. When you act like a jackass, you'll get treated like one. Swearing and hanging up on the phone is what turns people away from you. You have to grow up a little. I'm not trying to come down on you, but you have to hear it, because if you don't, you'll continue to do this, drive people away, and end up unhappy for a long time.

If I were you, I'd apologize to your girlfriend for acting like a tool, and work on growing up. Either that, or break up with her, let her live her life, and stay single until you mature a bit and are ready for a relationship. Not trying to be mean.

OTOH, TIGAT.
 
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