YAGT: Social Proof

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: HotChic
Okay, advice from a Christian female here:

STOP PURSUING GIRLS! Seriously. Because you are so focused on "girls" as an objective, and not one girl because you're attracted to her, you're pretty much worthless as a bf. You seem like a loser because you don't have any other apparent object in life.

Get a life, some hobbies, some interests, some ministries, learn to HONESTLY focus on those things as your top priority, focus on God as your top priority, and you're going to be much more interesting to Christian girls. Make yourself somebody that people of all types like the hang out with and make friends with some females without wondering about dating them (I can tell that you're the type girls avoid because they know showing any friendship at all will lead to an uncomfortable period of you being interested in them regardless of their romantic interest level.)

Take a mental break from females, thinking about sex, thinking about relationships, and learn that there's a little more to life than that.

:heart: Darn straight!

LOL , he got served jesus style right there.

 

[FuZoR]

*smacks head* i didnt even see the username and figure it was you hahaha.

ok.. yes friends help but every time you post you never take anyones advice.. now you get flames cause you just dont shutup.

 

[FuZoR]

Originally posted by: bleeb
Why are you guys/gals flaming this guy??? He's just making a hypothesis about girls...

Most of you don't know him personally, so you can't really say anything about how he interacts with people and girls...

My explaination for his theory is that if you are a cool personal socially with your own gender, then that should lead you to do well with people of the opposite sex. Anyways... I don't know where I'm going with this... I'm bored.

have you seen his other 3 dozen YAGT... ;-)

 

[loup garou]

Originally posted by: LordMaul

All I have to say is
................./´¯/)
...............,/¯../
............../..../
......../´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
...../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
...('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
....\.................'...../
.....\...\.......... ....·´
.......\..............(
.........\.............\....

Hate to say it, werk, but....

Fvcking troll. :thumbsdown::roll:

Do a search on his username.

 

[NoReMoRsE]

Stop looking for Christian people, and accept all races, cultures and creeds. By limiting yourself to Christians, you're increasing the chance of two recessive alleles coming together and then you've got a little devil on your hands now don't you.

 

[Atomicus]

.... Shouldn't you put matters such as a life partner in the hands of God? Not to sound like a freak, but if you're Christian, you should live by faith as stated in the bible. I for one live by faith, but I sin left and right, so I slipped

 

[RbSX]

I disagree. A majority of my friends are dorks who couldn't get with a decent lookin woman if their life depended on it. I, however, don't have as much of a problem. Keep in mind that you are seperate from your friends, and your friends don't make your identity for you. You will always be there, but your friends won't.

I've had some amount of success despite my friends, and i've seen other people fail, despite the fact that they have more girl savvy friends.

In the end it's all about the individual.

Mandatory Pic

Edit: Oh btw, I just read about the christian friends for a christian girl... That makes no sense. If you look at the picture my girlfriend is taiwanese, and I'm eastindian/caucasian. My friends are of varied races. It's important to have a strong set of friends, it doesn't matter about the race or other particulars.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: skywalker66
Do you guys think that maybe perhaps I am going to be really limited in my confidence towards approaching women and my success with them, until I go out and establish a main group of friends?

I dont know why, but I feel that my success with women will be limited, until I do that.

Your success will always be limited with women. Women can smell desperation a mile away and I don't ever see you as anything but desperate, whether you have a group of friends or not.

Like HotChic says, give it a break.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: HotChic
Okay, advice from a Christian female here:

STOP PURSUING GIRLS! Seriously. Because you are so focused on "girls" as an objective, and not one girl because you're attracted to her, you're pretty much worthless as a bf. You seem like a loser because you don't have any other apparent object in life.

Get a life, some hobbies, some interests, some ministries, learn to HONESTLY focus on those things as your top priority, focus on God as your top priority, and you're going to be much more interesting to Christian girls. Make yourself somebody that people of all types like the hang out with and make friends with some females without wondering about dating them (I can tell that you're the type girls avoid because they know showing any friendship at all will lead to an uncomfortable period of you being interested in them regardless of their romantic interest level.)

Take a mental break from females, thinking about sex, thinking about relationships, and learn that there's a little more to life than that.

completely agree, you sound creepy

 

[JulesMaximus]

Sigh, YAST...Yet Another Skywalker Thread. :roll:

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: HotChic
Okay, advice from a Christian female here:

STOP PURSUING GIRLS! Seriously. Because you are so focused on "girls" as an objective, and not one girl because you're attracted to her, you're pretty much worthless as a bf. You seem like a loser because you don't have any other apparent object in life.

Get a life, some hobbies, some interests, some ministries, learn to HONESTLY focus on those things as your top priority, focus on God as your top priority, and you're going to be much more interesting to Christian girls. Make yourself somebody that people of all types like the hang out with and make friends with some females without wondering about dating them (I can tell that you're the type girls avoid because they know showing any friendship at all will lead to an uncomfortable period of you being interested in them regardless of their romantic interest level.)

Take a mental break from females, thinking about sex, thinking about relationships, and learn that there's a little more to life than that.

completely agree, you sound creepy

Getting women isn't an objective, it's a side track. Most girls that like(d) me were complete flukes or accidents.

 

[skywalker66]

Did it fall apart right about the time you started declaring all non-christians to be heathens? Or at leat implied it? Thats what happened with my nutball friend. He became religious and started telling me that I'd be going to hell. Apparently what someone else told him in a few months about those the evil in those who didn't believe that a man existed in the sky, mattered more than his own experiences with me over the course of 7 years.

i wasnt going to respond to this thread until tomorrow because I'm tired and am going to bed, but then I saw this.

I can tell you not to worry and that its not that. I havent been hard on my friends at all for their beliefs. The reason we dont hang out as much now is more so because college just kinda broke that off, and also we dont have that much in common. I still hang out with a couple of these friends from this group on a regular basis though (like once a week)

And for the people that say I should date someone who isnt a Christian. I'm sorry. It's customary in our religion only to date people with similar beliefs (because they have so much influence on your life).

And yea.. most Christian gals, dont like guys who are loners, or they dont like guys whose friends are non christians from highschool.


Alsol, to hotchic:

STOP PURSUING GIRLS! Seriously. Because you are so focused on "girls" as an objective, and not one girl because you're attracted to her, you're pretty much worthless as a bf. You seem like a loser because you don't have any other apparent object in life.

Get a life, some hobbies, some interests, some ministries, learn to HONESTLY focus on those things as your top priority, focus on God as your top priority, and you're going to be much more interesting to Christian girls. Make yourself somebody that people of all types like the hang out with and make friends with some females without wondering about dating them (I can tell that you're the type girls avoid because they know showing any friendship at all will lead to an uncomfortable period of you being interested in them regardless of their romantic interest level.)

Take a mental break from females, thinking about sex, thinking about relationships, and learn that there's a little more to life than that.

thanks for trying to be helpful, but I've received similar advice from a lot of Christian girls, and it seems like they are all brainwashed into giving me this message. Then there are the few smart Christian girls who think for themselves and tell me something different, like "well I think you should do this"

look, I'm not going to believe that girls arent what they are cracked up to be, until I've had one. I dont see how I'm worthless to a girl just because I'm looking for a girlfriend. That whole bullshit about how you should just go along with life, and you'll meet a girl by being her friend and THEN becoming attracted to her, is bullshit. If you are human, it totally makes sense to put some effort into getting to know some women for the sake of wondering if they can be dated or not.

If I were to disregard the fact that women are women, and only get to know women for the sake of getting to know them, the amount of women I would get to know would be very limited. And I'm not willing to die a virgin, or be the guy that dies who married someone woman that he didn't really even love but he married her because he didnt think he could get anyone else. (Which I think occurs a lot more easily when you only date 1 or 2 women in your life)

I wouldnt call myself a loser for being obsessed about girls, I'd call myself human, and I wouldnt think less of a woman who thought the way I did either.

I've tried focusing on God as my top priority, but I've found that it is a very hard thing to do on a continual basis. It seems like humans were made to be selfish and lazy. I guess I figured that maybe if I went and settled my own interests first, that then I could worry about ministries and that later. I'm not sure if that means that I would get super involved in ministries later (cuz humans are lazy) but I'll admit that I would be more satisfied with doing so, if my own needs were met first.

And PS: No I dont assume that girls want me, just because they are my friend. I am totally cool with just being friends with a chick. They just need to realize that if I'm they are not interested, then I am probably going to spend a little more time hanging out with girls who are interested.

If a girl avoids me just cuz she thinks I'll start to think she likes me, she's an idiot, and I'm glad she avoided me period, even if I didnt like her. Stupid bitch.

A little more to life than that? I'll make of life what I want, and right now I'll admit that this is one of my primary goals. I'm sorry but, seeing all the lands of the world, or finding 1000 new hobbies, or serving in 1000 different ministries, doesnt appeal to me if it means that I am going to die a virgin.

And I dont believe that I'm going to get a woman, unless I go out and look for one.

 

[skywalker66]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
If you're such a hardcore Christian, why dont you go to church. I thought that's where Christian kids meet each other and be holy together

I do go, when I wake up on Sunday mornings.

Its not as good of a meeting grounds as you would think. Especially big churches. Its harder to get to know girls in them.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: LordMaul

All I have to say is
................./´¯/)
...............,/¯../
............../..../
......../´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
...../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
...('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
....\.................'...../
.....\...\.......... ....·´
.......\..............(
.........\.............\....

Hate to say it, werk, but....

Fvcking troll. :thumbsdown::roll:

I'm with werk here.

 

[skywalker66]

Originally posted by: SuPrEIVIE
aren't you the person who posts similar topics like this exceedingly? all i can say is i hope you find the thing that is everlasting rather than this nonsence

Are you saying that you hope that I find Christ? Because if so I already had.
Christ alone is not going to be able to satisfy all my human needs though. I need to go out and seek them.

 

[skywalker66]

Originally posted by: Kentarre

Originally posted by: HotChic

STOP PURSUING GIRLS!

i'd have to say is the utter truth. most people i know have little success in finding a girl because they are doing simply that, going on a hunt to find a girlfriend. the way i've found 2 of my 3 past girlfriends are simply because i started out as good friends with them, and then along the way we both found each other more interesting than just friends.

if you go out searching (or hunting) for a girlfriend, you arent going to have much success. my advice is to just stop looking for a girlfriend, and just start looking for a good friends you can hang out with all the time (both guys and girls). your friends will introduce you to more people and your social network will just expand. eventually (if its fated, willed by God, whatever you believe) you'll meet someone that you will find a certain connection with, and it can just proceed from there.

i personally just think that if you start out as good friends, a more intimate relationship between you two will be sure to last alot longer than if you just met at a bar and decided to go out on a few dates ...

first off, I dont meet my girls at bars.
I meet them in classes in stuff, and I do try to be friends with them first. Instead of saying "lets go out on a date" I'll hang out with them as friends with a group of people or something. So I already try the friends route,

I think what you guys are saying is that I shouldnt hang out with girls as friends if I am interested in them, and that I should only hang out with girls as friends if I would have if I wasnt interested in them.

and I disagree with that totally.
If hunting looks bad, on the girls side, then I'll just try to bring off a vibe that I'm less desperate.

 

[skywalker66]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: skywalker66
Do you guys think that maybe perhaps I am going to be really limited in my confidence towards approaching women and my success with them, until I go out and establish a main group of friends?

I dont know why, but I feel that my success with women will be limited, until I do that.

Your success will always be limited with women. Women can smell desperation a mile away and I don't ever see you as anything but desperate, whether you have a group of friends or not.

Like HotChic says, give it a break.

As I said before, the hell with your idea,
I'll just try to make it look like I'm less desperate. And you watch, because I will be successful with this strategy (especially if this is all that is holding me back, like what it sounds like you are trying to say)

 

[vshah]

Originally posted by: HotChic
Okay, advice from a Christian female here:

STOP PURSUING GIRLS! Seriously. Because you are so focused on "girls" as an objective, and not one girl because you're attracted to her, you're pretty much worthless as a bf. You seem like a loser because you don't have any other apparent object in life.

Get a life, some hobbies, some interests, some ministries, learn to HONESTLY focus on those things as your top priority, focus on God as your top priority, and you're going to be much more interesting to Christian girls. Make yourself somebody that people of all types like the hang out with and make friends with some females without wondering about dating them (I can tell that you're the type girls avoid because they know showing any friendship at all will lead to an uncomfortable period of you being interested in them regardless of their romantic interest level.)

Take a mental break from females, thinking about sex, thinking about relationships, and learn that there's a little more to life than that.

i think you're the end all be all to any YAGT thread in OT......

-Vivan

 

[skywalker66]

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Getting women isn't an objective, it's a side track. Most girls that like(d) me were complete flukes or accidents.

again, i dont like this philosophy, because this means that I would have no control over my life or when I get the things that I want, or even if I get them.

I dont think I am going to meet a women, unless I go out and find her. This accident $hit aint true. If I rely on meeting my girl by chance, I will probably never meet her.

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: skywalker66

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Getting women isn't an objective, it's a side track. Most girls that like(d) me were complete flukes or accidents.

again, i dont like this philosophy, because this means that I would have no control over my life or when I get the things that I want, or even if I get them.

I dont think I am going to meet a women, unless I go out and find her. This accident $hit aint true. If I rely on meeting my girl by chance, I will probably never meet her.

So you're telling me you have no faith...

 

[melly]

How about praying to God for a girlfriend?

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: skywalker66
Alsol, to hotchic:

thanks for trying to be helpful, but I've received similar advice from a lot of Christian girls, and it seems like they are all brainwashed into giving me this message. Then there are the few smart Christian girls who think for themselves and tell me something different, like "well I think you should do this"

Okay, first things first, you can check with any of my (Christian and non Christian) friends to find out that I don't spew brainwashed BS. I thank you for your subtle insult about my intelligence. I'll respond to the rest of your post so you can see my thought process that leads me to the conclusions I posted earlier.

look, I'm not going to believe that girls arent what they are cracked up to be, until I've had one. I dont see how I'm worthless to a girl just because I'm looking for a girlfriend.

I never said you were worthless to a girl because you're looking for a girlfriend. However, because you're focused on girls in general rather than your attraction to a specific girl, a specific girl is less likely to be attracted to you. You see, girls like feeling like they're special, that there's something unique about them that draws a worthwhile guy. As long as you're spamming the female population, as it were, with your overall interest in female company and attention, the girls you're interested in just feel like they're one of many that would be "good enough." And trust me, they can tell.

That whole bullshit about how you should just go along with life, and you'll meet a girl by being her friend and THEN becoming attracted to her, is bullshit. If you are human, it totally makes sense to put some effort into getting to know some women for the sake of wondering if they can be dated or not.

Absolutely. But a girl isn't going to see YOU as dateable unless you have other interests in life. You want to get to know a girl to see if she's dateable - what do you look for? Is she fun, does she do cool things, does she have a sense of humor, share your religious views, is she smart, educated, take care of her body? A girl is going to be looking for those qualities in you too, and you're only going to have those qualities to offer if you spend some serious time developing them. As it is, all your attention seems to be going into... girls. That's not going to impress a date very much.

q[]If I were to disregard the fact that women are women, and only get to know women for the sake of getting to know them, the amount of women I would get to know would be very limited. And I'm not willing to die a virgin, or be the guy that dies who married someone woman that he didn't really even love but he married her because he didnt think he could get anyone else. (Which I think occurs a lot more easily when you only date 1 or 2 women in your life)[/quote]

I think your desperation is showing here. You have this perception about what WILL happen, when in reality everything differs. You may need to date a lot, you may need to date once. What difference does it make? Just know what you're looking for in a mate.

I wouldnt call myself a loser for being obsessed about girls, I'd call myself human, and I wouldnt think less of a woman who thought the way I did either.

I would agree with your first point, except that you go far beyond how most humans think about the opposite sex. You're obsessed with girls in the same way 14 year old males are. Look around - are the rest of the guys on Anandtech posting constant girl threads? You've taken it a bit further than average, or even further than above average.

As for thinking less of a woman who thinks like you, don't think less but be wary. Any woman who thinks about men like you think about women is going to be a handful and VERY hard to keep a relationship with.

I've tried focusing on God as my top priority, but I've found that it is a very hard thing to do on a continual basis.

Point conceded.

It seems like humans were made to be selfish and lazy. I guess I figured that maybe if I went and settled my own interests first, that then I could worry about ministries and that later. I'm not sure if that means that I would get super involved in ministries later (cuz humans are lazy) but I'll admit that I would be more satisfied with doing so, if my own needs were met first.

Sounds like a line of justification to me. Needs and desires never go away - that's part of human nature (look at how many religions focus on either eliminating or fulfilling those needs and desires). If you have your desire for a woman met, another desire will crop up in its place. Satisfying your own interests first sounds like a decent strategy except that your own interests will never have an end.

What you choose to put first and second is your own business, but at least understand how the patterns of human life run and that you're not exempt from such patterns. Maybe study some lives of people who have been successful in the type of life you would like to accomplish?

And PS: No I dont assume that girls want me, just because they are my friend. I am totally cool with just being friends with a chick. They just need to realize that if I'm they are not interested, then I am probably going to spend a little more time hanging out with girls who are interested.

As a female, let me be the first to tell that even if you aren't like that, you come off like that, at least on the net. And STRONGLY.

If a girl avoids me just cuz she thinks I'll start to think she likes me, she's an idiot, and I'm glad she avoided me period, even if I didnt like her. Stupid bitch.

Sorry, all women are like that, except for chronic flirts. Girls don't like being in the uncomfortable position of having a guy like them when they don't like him back. It necessitates turning the guy down at some point, or being mean to him until he stops liking them (from a normal girl's point of view). A chronic flirt won't care.

A little more to life than that? I'll make of life what I want, and right now I'll admit that this is one of my primary goals. I'm sorry but, seeing all the lands of the world, or finding 1000 new hobbies, or serving in 1000 different ministries, doesnt appeal to me if it means that I am going to die a virgin.

You'll have trouble (are having trouble?) attracting a female without having more to offer and interest her than just "I want to get a relationship and get laid." Sorry.

And I dont believe that I'm going to get a woman, unless I go out and look for one.

*shrugs* Suit yourself, but most guys will probably tell you they didn't get their mates by looking for one.

 

[screw3d]

Baby Christ is crying for you, skywalker66

 

[melly]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: skywalker66
Alsol, to hotchic:

thanks for trying to be helpful, but I've received similar advice from a lot of Christian girls, and it seems like they are all brainwashed into giving me this message. Then there are the few smart Christian girls who think for themselves and tell me something different, like "well I think you should do this"

Okay, first things first, you can check with any of my (Christian and non Christian) friends to find out that I don't spew brainwashed BS. I thank you for your subtle insult about my intelligence. I'll respond to the rest of your post so you can see my thought process that leads me to the conclusions I posted earlier.

look, I'm not going to believe that girls arent what they are cracked up to be, until I've had one. I dont see how I'm worthless to a girl just because I'm looking for a girlfriend.

I never said you were worthless to a girl because you're looking for a girlfriend. However, because you're focused on girls in general rather than your attraction to a specific girl, a specific girl is less likely to be attracted to you. You see, girls like feeling like they're special, that there's something unique about them that draws a worthwhile guy. As long as you're spamming the female population, as it were, with your overall interest in female company and attention, the girls you're interested in just feel like they're one of many that would be "good enough." And trust me, they can tell.

That whole bullshit about how you should just go along with life, and you'll meet a girl by being her friend and THEN becoming attracted to her, is bullshit. If you are human, it totally makes sense to put some effort into getting to know some women for the sake of wondering if they can be dated or not.

Absolutely. But a girl isn't going to see YOU as dateable unless you have other interests in life. You want to get to know a girl to see if she's dateable - what do you look for? Is she fun, does she do cool things, does she have a sense of humor, share your religious views, is she smart, educated, take care of her body? A girl is going to be looking for those qualities in you too, and you're only going to have those qualities to offer if you spend some serious time developing them. As it is, all your attention seems to be going into... girls. That's not going to impress a date very much.

q[]If I were to disregard the fact that women are women, and only get to know women for the sake of getting to know them, the amount of women I would get to know would be very limited. And I'm not willing to die a virgin, or be the guy that dies who married someone woman that he didn't really even love but he married her because he didnt think he could get anyone else. (Which I think occurs a lot more easily when you only date 1 or 2 women in your life)

I think your desperation is showing here. You have this perception about what WILL happen, when in reality everything differs. You may need to date a lot, you may need to date once. What difference does it make? Just know what you're looking for in a mate.

I wouldnt call myself a loser for being obsessed about girls, I'd call myself human, and I wouldnt think less of a woman who thought the way I did either.

I would agree with your first point, except that you go far beyond how most humans think about the opposite sex. You're obsessed with girls in the same way 14 year old males are. Look around - are the rest of the guys on Anandtech posting constant girl threads? You've taken it a bit further than average, or even further than above average.

As for thinking less of a woman who thinks like you, don't think less but be wary. Any woman who thinks about men like you think about women is going to be a handful and VERY hard to keep a relationship with.

I've tried focusing on God as my top priority, but I've found that it is a very hard thing to do on a continual basis.

Point conceded.

It seems like humans were made to be selfish and lazy. I guess I figured that maybe if I went and settled my own interests first, that then I could worry about ministries and that later. I'm not sure if that means that I would get super involved in ministries later (cuz humans are lazy) but I'll admit that I would be more satisfied with doing so, if my own needs were met first.

Sounds like a line of justification to me. Needs and desires never go away - that's part of human nature (look at how many religions focus on either eliminating or fulfilling those needs and desires). If you have your desire for a woman met, another desire will crop up in its place. Satisfying your own interests first sounds like a decent strategy except that your own interests will never have an end.

What you choose to put first and second is your own business, but at least understand how the patterns of human life run and that you're not exempt from such patterns. Maybe study some lives of people who have been successful in the type of life you would like to accomplish?

And PS: No I dont assume that girls want me, just because they are my friend. I am totally cool with just being friends with a chick. They just need to realize that if I'm they are not interested, then I am probably going to spend a little more time hanging out with girls who are interested.

As a female, let me be the first to tell that even if you aren't like that, you come off like that, at least on the net. And STRONGLY.

If a girl avoids me just cuz she thinks I'll start to think she likes me, she's an idiot, and I'm glad she avoided me period, even if I didnt like her. Stupid bitch.

Sorry, all women are like that, except for chronic flirts. Girls don't like being in the uncomfortable position of having a guy like them when they don't like him back. It necessitates turning the guy down at some point, or being mean to him until he stops liking them (from a normal girl's point of view). A chronic flirt won't care.

A little more to life than that? I'll make of life what I want, and right now I'll admit that this is one of my primary goals. I'm sorry but, seeing all the lands of the world, or finding 1000 new hobbies, or serving in 1000 different ministries, doesnt appeal to me if it means that I am going to die a virgin.

You'll have trouble (are having trouble?) attracting a female without having more to offer and interest her than just "I want to get a relationship and get laid." Sorry.

And I dont believe that I'm going to get a woman, unless I go out and look for one.

*shrugs* Suit yourself, but most guys will probably tell you they didn't get their mates by looking for one.[/quote]

Props to you, HC, for taking the time to try and explain it to Skywalker...patience is a virtue. I don't understand why he isn't heeding advice of females. This is his #1223355679211 post on how to get a girl and he still won't hear what we have to say...personally I don't think it has anything to do with religion or waiting for the tide to roll in (whatever), and lots of inexperienced people also giving their 0.02. I think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested he develop other parts of his life (or lack, thereof).

 

[SynthDude2001]

Where's the obligatory pic showing all of his previous (and equally futile) YAGT's?