YAGT: Social "S.N.A.F.U" with my Korean girlfriend ?

[polm]

I just went to a Korean store with my Korean girlfriend. She is close with the family that runs the store.

My GF always tells me how delicate our relationship is, due to the fact that I am a White Jewish guy. Her cousin even cussed me out last weekend for dating her.

I know absolutely no Korean, and my GF never clues me in to the social intricacies of Korean culture.

But when we went into the store she bowed and spoke exclusively in Korean the entire time. She never introduced me. Never even motioned towards me.

The store owners brought us some candy flavored yogurt which I drank and said thank you twice for.

Then I bought about 20 dollars worth of stuff, and said thank you again.


Then my GF bowed and they shared more Korean with each other.

I started to walk out the door because I thought the conversation was ending with my GF's bow and final exchange of words.

But as I am opening the door to leave, she sais , in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, "say Good-Bye". I know it doesn't sound like much, but her tone was very demeaning.

I stuttered a "Good-Bye" and ducked out feeling kinda embarrased.

I told my GF that I didnt appreciate the way she handled that situation. That I was uncomfortable to begin with ,and her ignoring me and then talking to me like a child just made it even worse.

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.

 

[GasX]

sounds like you have a real winner there...

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: polm
I just went to a Korean store with my Korean girlfriend. She is close with the family that runs the store.

My GF always tells me how delicate our relationship is, due to the fact that I am a White Jewish guy. Her cousin even cussed me out last weekend for dating her.

I know absolutely no Korean, and my GF never clues me in to the social intricacies of Korean culture.

But when we went into the store she bowed and spoke exclusively in Korean the entire time. She never introduced me. Never even motioned towards me.

The store owners brought us some candy flavored yogurt which I drank and said thank you twice for.

Then I bought about 20 dollars worth of stuff, and said thank you again.


Then my GF bowed and they shared more Korean with each other.

I started to walk out the door because I thought the conversation was ending with my GF's bow and final exchange of words.

But as I am opening the door to leave, she sais , in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, "say Good-Bye". I know it doesn't sound like much, but her tone was very demeaning.

I stuttered a "Good-Bye" and ducked out feeling kinda embarrased.

I told my GF that I didnt appreciate the way she handled that situation. That I was uncomfortable to begin with ,and her ignoring me and then talking to me like a child just made it even worse.

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.

Definitely not your fault,
stupid situation to begin with.. ask her how would she feel if you take her to barmitzvah or soemthign and everyone would start talkign hebrew etc

 

[Amorphus]

Yeah. Your gf is a jerk.

 

[ElFenix]

yay racism!

 

[stnicralisk]

EDIT: I take my post back magically, I was angry at my woman at the time of posting and it shouldnt affect my advice for you and your woman.

 

[Ness]

Originally posted by: stnicralisk
Give it to her in the a$$ maybe thatll curb her anger.

why don't you just say "Ban me!"

 

[robh23]

demeaning = not good

my gf is indian and its pretty delicate and obviously we put a show on round her family

 

[stnicralisk]

Originally posted by: ness1469

Originally posted by: stnicralisk
Give it to her in the a$$ maybe thatll curb her anger.

why don't you just say "Ban me!"

Might not be as effective.

If you hadnt quoted me it wouldve been all but gone.

 

[Rumpltzer]

Yeah, I can understand where you're coming from with the whole cultural difference and not speaking the language. It's the same with me and my GF.

That said, I don't think you did anything wrong here. You might try explaining to her how you felt in the situation where you're kind of ignored (not introduced), excluded from the conversation, and then talked to like a child in front of everyone. It's just not cool.

If that doesn't work (I mean, if she's not going to listen or whatever), then it comes down to what you're gonna tolerate and how much this little incident means to you. As in, is it worth not talking or fighting over... is it worth breaking up over?

Yeah. Good luck!

 

[Howard]

If it's a delicate relationship it's because of her side, not yours.

 

[Howard]

By the way, why would she expect you to say goodbye to people you don't even know?

 

Yeah, I know how those delicate cultural things go. My girlfriend is Irish Catholic and I'm a Jew.

 

[yllus]

Not introducing you, motioning towards you or speaking in a language you understand in front of you...the bitch owes you an apology. Who the hell is she to lecture you on manners?

 

[SherEPunjab]

your g/f is extremely rude. i work with a number of Indians and Pakistanis, and out of respect for our non South Asian co-workers, we don't speak in Hindi-Urdu when they are around. We don't like to do that b/c i don't want them to feel bad, left out, or that we are saying something behind their back. And thats for co-workers, she's your g/f you should be treated even better. Even when i would hang out with a mixed group of friends, i would never think of carrying an entire conversation in Hindi-Urdu.

And then, on top of it, she's mad at YOU? If this is how she normally is, I would suggest you reconsider who you're with.

 

[FearoftheNight]

take is from an chinese dude....all my many korean friends and i agree this....most korean = teh racism.....the only reason i get away with it is because they think i'm one of them half the time and i know better than to correct them...they are teh racist vs other asians too most of the time

check this out....one of my close korean friends who i grew up with....i asked him why all his relatives thought i was korean...he said it was because they all think chinese people are all butt ugly so since i'm pretty decent looking i must be korean.... wtf

 

[GasX]

She isn't your girlfriend. You are her boyfriend.

That's a generous interpretation of that scene...

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
She isn't your girlfriend. You are her boyfriend.

That's a generous interpretation of that scene...

Ouch but I guess that situation was bad for you.

She treated you badly to say the least in that situation.

I only speak Khmer when I don't want other people to know what I am saying . Most of the time it is English.

Koing

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: polm
I just went to a Korean store with my Korean girlfriend. She is close with the family that runs the store.

My GF always tells me how delicate our relationship is, due to the fact that I am a White Jewish guy. Her cousin even cussed me out last weekend for dating her.

I know absolutely no Korean, and my GF never clues me in to the social intricacies of Korean culture.

But when we went into the store she bowed and spoke exclusively in Korean the entire time. She never introduced me. Never even motioned towards me.

The store owners brought us some candy flavored yogurt which I drank and said thank you twice for.

Then I bought about 20 dollars worth of stuff, and said thank you again.


Then my GF bowed and they shared more Korean with each other.

I started to walk out the door because I thought the conversation was ending with my GF's bow and final exchange of words.

But as I am opening the door to leave, she sais , in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, "say Good-Bye". I know it doesn't sound like much, but her tone was very demeaning.

I stuttered a "Good-Bye" and ducked out feeling kinda embarrased.

I told my GF that I didnt appreciate the way she handled that situation. That I was uncomfortable to begin with ,and her ignoring me and then talking to me like a child just made it even worse.

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.

You guys really need to talk about your relationship.

 

[stnicralisk]

You know it could be that she has a lot of stress on her from her parents and stuff and doesnt know how to deal with it yet. I am guessing from the post that you are both pretty young.

 

[Ultima]

I say it's BS. You live in north america, not korea, and she should show you a little more respect than that. North America is about freedom, not repressive cultural norms from the home country.

 

[olds]

What is a "snaffoo"?

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
What is a "snaffoo"?

i was gonna correct with: "snafu", but i figured perhaps it was done on purpose, adding like a kung fu twist to it or something, i dont know, kinda reaching there...

 

[her209]

pics?

 

[TommyVercetti]

Originally posted by: Ultima
I say it's BS. You live in north america, not korea, and she should show you a little more respect than that. North America is about freedom, not repressive cultural norms from the home country.

Yeah screw it, NA is all about freedom. Just this morning, I called my mom a b!tch, my grandma a hag and wished my sick grand dad death. Screw it, I am free and not bound by some stupid cultural norms.