YAGT: Social "S.N.A.F.U" with my Korean girlfriend ?

If they are that stuck up about their culture, let them be.

 

[erikiksaz]

Dating a korean girl once, i've figured out a few things. It seems that upholding their pride is of utmost importance. And since she's a korean girl dating a jewish guy, that's a "-1" to her pride. That's not so bad, but the problem is how she deals with it. In this case, it seems that she wasn't very willing and compassionate about accepting the hit to her pride.

Sorry about the generalizations my korean friends, as i hate to generalize and stereotype, but dear lord, i've met one too many koreans that fit that bill.

 

[Ultima]

Originally posted by: TommyVercetti

Originally posted by: Ultima
I say it's BS. You live in north america, not korea, and she should show you a little more respect than that. North America is about freedom, not repressive cultural norms from the home country.

Yeah screw it, NA is all about freedom. Just this morning, I called my mom a b!tch, my grandma a hag and wished my sick grand dad death. Screw it, I am free and not bound by some stupid cultural norms.

Yes, exactly, NA is about the freedom to do exactly as you described. You don't like that? Too bad. And if you're the type of person to wish your sick grand dad dead, then more power to you.

How's them rolling eyes?

 

[dighn]

Originally posted by: Ultima

Originally posted by: TommyVercetti

Originally posted by: Ultima
I say it's BS. You live in north america, not korea, and she should show you a little more respect than that. North America is about freedom, not repressive cultural norms from the home country.

Yeah screw it, NA is all about freedom. Just this morning, I called my mom a b!tch, my grandma a hag and wished my sick grand dad death. Screw it, I am free and not bound by some stupid cultural norms.

Yes, exactly, NA is about the freedom to do exactly as you described. You don't like that? Too bad. And if you're the type of person to wish your sick grand dad dead, then more power to you.

How's them rolling eyes?

i wouldn't take anything TommyVercetti says seriously if i were you

 

[Howard]

OP hasn't posted yet.

 

[opticalmace]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Kick + Curb = Her

And oh yeah, pics? She'd better be at least an 8.5/10 for you to put up with that bitchy attitude.

- M4H

M4H knows the score.

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: SherEPunjab

Originally posted by: MAME

Originally posted by: polm
I just went to a Korean store with my Korean girlfriend. She is close with the family that runs the store.

My GF always tells me how delicate our relationship is, due to the fact that I am a White Jewish guy. Her cousin even cussed me out last weekend for dating her.

I know absolutely no Korean, and my GF never clues me in to the social intricacies of Korean culture.

But when we went into the store she bowed and spoke exclusively in Korean the entire time. She never introduced me. Never even motioned towards me.

The store owners brought us some candy flavored yogurt which I drank and said thank you twice for.

Then I bought about 20 dollars worth of stuff, and said thank you again.


Then my GF bowed and they shared more Korean with each other.

I started to walk out the door because I thought the conversation was ending with my GF's bow and final exchange of words.

But as I am opening the door to leave, she sais , in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, "say Good-Bye". I know it doesn't sound like much, but her tone was very demeaning.

I stuttered a "Good-Bye" and ducked out feeling kinda embarrased.

I told my GF that I didnt appreciate the way she handled that situation. That I was uncomfortable to begin with ,and her ignoring me and then talking to me like a child just made it even worse.

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.

To be fair, you did mess up. She was doing the right thing as far as her culture was concerned and she probably didn't want to mess up anything but you dropped the ball there.

totally ignoring him and completely talking in Korean when he probably doesn't understand one word is the right thing? sure she showed respect to the elders and the family that ran the store, but she also has at least a little obligation to him dont ya think? maybe she didn't have to introduce him as her b/f, but she could at least say, this is my friend, Sal Weinerberger [or whatever].

Also, i think its a bit rude to talk entirely in Korean. Fair enough, maybe the family didn't speak English well, but she could have at least talked to him directly even if just for a minute. from what he says it looks like she totally dis'd him and didn't even acknowledge him.

No offence, but it could very well be culture driven and she was doing the appropriate thing

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: FuZioN

Originally posted by: iamme
in the end, just buy her a nice, fake Louis Vuitton/Gucci/Burberry/Prada purse and she'll be happy.

ROTFLMAO ;-)

*edit*ontopic.

Korean Pride!! its a culture thing moreso then other asians..even some of the americanized ones.

last korean girl i met was adopted (white parents) so didnt have to deal with that hahahaha.

LUCKY!!hmm...what's her number/aim/ etc?

 

[Brutuskend]

It's S.N.A.F.U.

 

[yllus]

Originally posted by: MAME

Originally posted by: SherEPunjab
totally ignoring him and completely talking in Korean when he probably doesn't understand one word is the right thing? sure she showed respect to the elders and the family that ran the store, but she also has at least a little obligation to him dont ya think? maybe she didn't have to introduce him as her b/f, but she could at least say, this is my friend, Sal Weinerberger [or whatever].

Also, i think its a bit rude to talk entirely in Korean. Fair enough, maybe the family didn't speak English well, but she could have at least talked to him directly even if just for a minute. from what he says it looks like she totally dis'd him and didn't even acknowledge him.

No offence, but it could very well be culture driven and she was doing the appropriate thing

This isn't the movies. There is no culture out there that allows a person to be totally discounted and unacknowledged as living. It was simply ignorant.

 

[ajpa123]

Nice attitude toward you she has.. lol

I would have jump in the ride and taken off (assuming i had the keys). If not, i would have grabbed them out of her hands and left without her.
Later, after a little talk, i would dump her .. not even a second thought ! There's so many other 'normal girls out there.. omg omg omg ... lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!

She needs some time to grow up, i don't think you want to teach her manners that she should already possess.
You were nice and polite and said thank you twice... f&ck her lame ass if she made you look bad... i totally can't tolerate girls like that... i hope you and her aren't too deeply involved.

Once again.... dump her lame ass.. (my opinion.. do with it what you may !)

 

[alkemyst]

Intercultural yet alone interracial relationships are difficult.

Americans yell when pissed off at each other...it's not 'right' but it happens. Japanese people don't really do this to their spouses/girlfriends...it's rare.

Japanese women tell men what to do...it's said much like americans 'ask' someone to do something. I get pissed when I am told "You can't buy that", but I can handle "We really can't afford that right now". Chances are I am only 'looking' anyways if money if tight so I can make an educated purchase once the cash flow comes back.

Tonight we got into something with the above. I was 'told' I don't know what it is like to manage people, I am only used to working by myself (my wife knows only of my web development job for two years, and me working for myself for two years), however, that was very wrong as for about 10 years prior to those jobs and meeting her I worked in corporatations at at least a 'senior' level employee, and many times as a supervisor of up to 10 reports...

It's difficult, you always have to make sure a relationship is right for you, but in a interracial/cultural (I think the cultural part is really the issue) you have to definitely make sure it's right for you, them, and the others around it or be willing to accept the problems that go along with it.

Å

 

[Ranger X]

That's what you get for dating a Korean girl. Let me explain to you how I interpret this situation. First, you can't entirely blame her because it will be WEIRD if she spoke English to the store owners. If you were of another nationality, would you honestly speak in English to your relatives who couldn't carry a conversation in English just because someone else was in the room that didn't understand the language? The REAL problem is that she didn't translate for you nor acknowledge you in front of the store owners. I believe she chose to do that to protect you and to not draw so much attention to you because people are nosey by nature. Her relatives will never fully accept you for who you are so I suggest you stop trying. I know that may sound harsh but that is the truth.

 

[BeefJurky]

i dated a korean girl once. her parents refused to believe we were going out, and wanted her to find a nice korean boy. eventually, i think she did.

 

[Lifer]

koreans are the most stuck up and arrogant of the asians.
take that statement from an "outsiders" point of view.

 

[Kalpana]

wow...hearing the story from your perspective...I defenitely agree with you. I can't imagine doing something like that to my boyfriend and he doesn't speak my language either. I defenitely think she was in the wrong about how she handled it. Sometimes it slips out though; I have sometimes acted a certain way towards my boyfriend that I probably shouldn't have. I guess it happens because you become so comfortable with your boyfriend that you only worry about propriety with others (specially when dealing with that type of conservative culture). But her getting mad at you now is completely uncalled for and you should not let this pass without making her understand becuase this is not the tone you should set in your relationship. Even if it seems small; it is a huge thing. One should not demean their partner.

 

[dangereuxjeux]

Respecting her culture is your job, obviously, but if she doesn't respect you (strike one, two, and three), it's pointless. If she's not apologizing to you for her part of that situation, chances are that you are better moving on.

 

[KingNothing]

It's snafu, and I wouldn't date someone who treated me like that.

 

[Whisper]

Having dated three and a half korean girls, I can say that a lot of that situation sounds familiar. However, her attitude towards you as a whole is fairly messed up, in my opinion.

All three of my full-korean girlfriends had korean parents, korean friends, korean elders to talk to, etc., but none of them ever treated me like that in someone else's presence. True, I knew quite a few koreans in junior high, and so was pretty clued-in as to how to act and such, but my exes still never disowned me.

All I'll say is that you should get used to her speaking mostly Korean when in the presence of her elders. If other people are speaking to you in Korean, or speaking about you to your gf, then yes, she should translate for you. But don't expect a running commentary, because it's most likely not going to happen.

I'd say if you actually want the relationship to work out, as other people have already mentioned, you're both going to need to make compromises. She's going to need to be more supportive of you regardless of your race (if she has that much of a problem with it, she shouldn't be dating you in the first place), but you're going to need to put in some effort as well. Learn a few important phrases (greetings/goodbyes, how to say yes/no respectfull, etc), and know when to bow, and you'll go a long way with a lot of older Koreans. If you show the effort to want to understand the culture, that's a big bonus.

 

[ajpa123]

Originally posted by: Whisper
Having dated three and a half korean girls, .....

clarify please.

 

[virtuamike]

I say she's a little snappy, but even if you don't speak the language the least you can do is say hello and bye, that's a social normal in all cultures.

 

[geckojohn]

Dump her.. korean girlfriends are like that. they are really bossy

 

[geckojohn]

yagt.orG

 

[Whisper]

Originally posted by: ajpa123

Originally posted by: Whisper
Having dated three and a half korean girls, .....

clarify please.

three full korean girlfriends, and one half-korean, half-caucasian. All very sweet.

 

[ajpa123]

Originally posted by: Whisper

Originally posted by: ajpa123

Originally posted by: Whisper
Having dated three and a half korean girls, .....

clarify please.

three full korean girlfriends, and one half-korean, half-caucasian. All very sweet.

awesome
sweet huh?