Originally posted by: MAME
Originally posted by: yllus
Originally posted by: MAME
Originally posted by: SherEPunjab
totally ignoring him and completely talking in Korean when he probably doesn't understand one word is the right thing? sure she showed respect to the elders and the family that ran the store, but she also has at least a little obligation to him dont ya think? maybe she didn't have to introduce him as her b/f, but she could at least say, this is my friend, Sal Weinerberger [or whatever].
Also, i think its a bit rude to talk entirely in Korean. Fair enough, maybe the family didn't speak English well, but she could have at least talked to him directly even if just for a minute. from what he says it looks like she totally dis'd him and didn't even acknowledge him.
No offence, but it could very well be culture driven and she was doing the appropriate thing
This isn't the movies. There is no culture out there that allows a person to be totally discounted and unacknowledged as living. It was simply ignorant.
How do you know? My gf is 100% Japanese (living there now) and there's a sh!t load of culture in EVERYTHING. You have no idea
Stop interracial dating, I'm Japanese too so you'll gf will have an easier time dating me
To OP:
Intercultural can be very difficult emotionally, and might be something neither of you are ready to handle just yet from what it sounds like. You both have to realize you'll be making a lot of compromises and there are going to be misunderstandings and odd situations. I've been on both ends of the spectrum, as an American/Japanese dating a Danish girl in Denmark to being a Japanese dating white girls (Protestant and Jewish if you want to get into details) in the US to dating a Bulgarian and Malaysian and Korean plus a mix of other 'minorities' in the US to dating Americans and Japanese girls in Japan. You guys definately need to talk things out, there seems to be a bigger issue of lack of communication behind all of this.
Remember that love is great and all but in the end you are just a bf and bfs (and gfs) come and go but she has to continue living her community and associating with her family and interacting with the other people she knows. She gains nothing by rebelling against expectations except make it harder on her later on. And if you start alienating yourselves you are just reinforcing the image of the 'bad white American boy' and there's going to be nothing you are going to be able to change it.
In many cultures it's just not acceptable to introduce your bf/gf as bf/gf especially to elders, the only time you would do that is say with a fiancee, someone you were very very seriously involved with.
Another thing you have to realize is that your actions reflect on her. They won't think of you as Y, the white dude who is X's friend, they'll think of you as X's friend, the white dude Y.
And American culture, what is that exactly? Was it something that the native Americans had and when people immigrated here they suddenly picked up? No, it's something that was created from a number of different cultures, not just Western ones. Who knows, with the way people seem to love sushi maybe it will become part of traditional American cuisine in a few decades.
You may not like taking a backseat in an encounter but sometimes the best thing to do is to just stand quietly behind your gf and not look bored or sulky. You don't need to be the center of attention in every conversation and you have to trust your gf to clue you in when they start talking about you. You do trust her to do that, don't you?