YAGT: Social "S.N.A.F.U" with my Korean girlfriend ?

[WinkOsmosis]

Sounds like your girlfriend is a moron and so are you for dating her.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

i'm korean.....i don't date koreans....

they demand too much, too materialistic, think too much about their own appearance, etc...

 

[Lager]

She just wants you for sex.

 

[BD231]

What a complete b*tch dude..........., sounds like something an old resentful grandmother would do.

 

[Geekbabe]

Your g/friend is a rude POS.

 

[iamme]

your gf should have explained common social courtesies to you. her fault, not yours.

it could have been considered rude to leave without acknowledging the store owner, but she didn't have to bitch about it.

 

[Rainsford]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
sounds like you have a real winner there...

Yeah, no kidding. Her telling you how "delicate" your relationship is is NOT a good thing. It means she accepts whatever problems exist because of your various racial backgrouns as a normal part of the dating process. Unless you are willing to accept that as well, I'd have a nice long talk with her about it.

And personally I don't accept that sort of excuse from anyone. A relationship is, in my mind, between two people. It doesn't matter what her family, my family, her "culture" or mine have to say about it. Letting those factors affect a relationship is a sign of weakness in the relationship if you ask me.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

well another thing is that older koreans don't like their younger korena daughters to date other men outside of their own race...

so for one thing she was protecting you and herself from harassment........but she shouldn't have invited you in the first place, and it's wrong for her not to invite you to her culture...


that said, i still won't date koreans...my xgf was korean, and i'm korean...

but after that forget it. Even though it was comfy for us and our respective parents, ugh...most korean girls are blah...if you want a proper korean girl, go to korea...americanized korean girls = booo

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: Rainsford

Originally posted by: Mwilding
sounds like you have a real winner there...

Yeah, no kidding. Her telling you how "delicate" your relationship is is NOT a good thing. It means she accepts whatever problems exist because of your various racial backgrouns as a normal part of the dating process. Unless you are willing to accept that as well, I'd have a nice long talk with her about it.

And personally I don't accept that sort of excuse from anyone. A relationship is, in my mind, between two people. It doesn't matter what her family, my family, her "culture" or mine have to say about it. Letting those factors affect a relationship is a sign of weakness in the relationship if you ask me.

those factors are a part of who she is. if she was born and raised in Korea, those seemingly insignificant social courtesies are an important part of her culture. just because you don't understand them or they are strange to you, doesn't make them less important. she shouldn't have to forgo them, because they are a part of who she is.

however, she is hurting the relationship by not communicating this to him. imo, they need to figure out a "middle" ground. he can't just say "screw her culture" and she can't expect him to become a Korean expert.

 

[rgreen83]

As someone whose three best friends are a chinese/taiwanese guy, a korean girl, and an indian guy; I would say it is definately her responsibility to inform you of the customs, she needs to do that now or dump her because it will happen again and there are larger cultural no-nos than not saying good-bye. I know I almost lost a friend over crap like that when rex's (chinese/tai guy) parents kicked me out of the house for not taking my shoes off outside! Who the hell would leave their shoes outside in the city?

 

[tantos]

stick to your own kind..it's much easier...

 

[illustri]

Originally posted by: rgreen83
As someone whose three best friends are a chinese/taiwanese guy, a korean girl, and an indian guy; I would say it is definately her responsibility to inform you of the customs, she needs to do that now or dump her because it will happen again and there are larger cultural no-nos than not saying good-bye. I know I almost lost a friend over crap like that when rex's (chinese/tai guy) parents kicked me out of the house for not taking my shoes off outside! Who the hell would leave their shoes outside in the city?

man i hate it when people walk into someone's home w/o ever FIRST considering manners - i mean when you walk in and see a shoerack and shoes lying on the floor adjacent to the doorway, do you proceed to just walk in dirty soles, stepping on my clean carpet, my expensive rug the least i could do is TELL you to take your shoes off, the most i could do is doubt your upbringing and your manners

 

[djplayx714]

Theres a huge honor code amongst Asians that I've realized time again is never understood or known to most non Asian cultures.

I'd say it was your gf's fault for not clueing you in. Each Asian culture has its own system and when I date outside my own culture i have to educate my significant other about all the main traditions so that she may be acceptable to my elders. Otherwise they'll talk mad shiat on her every chance they get and give me all hell for being with "disrespectful trash". I expect to be taught the same traditions of my significant other's culture before meeting her family or coming into any contact with their culture. That's jus know and practiced by Asians so I totally understand your confusion.

Tell your gf you didn't know how to react and to you it seemed like you were being fair and courteous. Tell her if she would take the time to explain her culture and traditions to you then perhaps you two could avoid anymore uncomfortable situations.

Otherwise dump her and get someone who isnt into the whole honor system.

 

[MAME]

Originally posted by: polm
I just went to a Korean store with my Korean girlfriend. She is close with the family that runs the store.

My GF always tells me how delicate our relationship is, due to the fact that I am a White Jewish guy. Her cousin even cussed me out last weekend for dating her.

I know absolutely no Korean, and my GF never clues me in to the social intricacies of Korean culture.

But when we went into the store she bowed and spoke exclusively in Korean the entire time. She never introduced me. Never even motioned towards me.

The store owners brought us some candy flavored yogurt which I drank and said thank you twice for.

Then I bought about 20 dollars worth of stuff, and said thank you again.


Then my GF bowed and they shared more Korean with each other.

I started to walk out the door because I thought the conversation was ending with my GF's bow and final exchange of words.

But as I am opening the door to leave, she sais , in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, "say Good-Bye". I know it doesn't sound like much, but her tone was very demeaning.

I stuttered a "Good-Bye" and ducked out feeling kinda embarrased.

I told my GF that I didnt appreciate the way she handled that situation. That I was uncomfortable to begin with ,and her ignoring me and then talking to me like a child just made it even worse.

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.

To be fair, you did mess up. She was doing the right thing as far as her culture was concerned and she probably didn't want to mess up anything but you dropped the ball there.

 

[Renob]

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.


I would have told her if she ever does anything like that again its OVER.

I would give her one and only one chance.

BTW were are the PICS.

To be fair, you did mess up. She was doing the right thing as far as her culture was concerned and she probably didn't want to mess up anything but you dropped the ball there.

Dude she did not even introduce him, did you read the whole post???

 

[thatmaguy]

Dump Her - No one who is seriously interested in you behaves that way.

 

[Pepsi90919]

it's not 'snaffoo' it's SNAFU - situation normal all fukced up

 

[Jfrag Teh Foul]

Originally posted by: anxi80

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
What is a "snaffoo"?

i was gonna correct with: "snafu", but i figured perhaps it was done on purpose, adding like a kung fu twist to it or something, i dont know, kinda reaching there...

 

[SherEPunjab]

Originally posted by: MAME

Originally posted by: polm
I just went to a Korean store with my Korean girlfriend. She is close with the family that runs the store.

My GF always tells me how delicate our relationship is, due to the fact that I am a White Jewish guy. Her cousin even cussed me out last weekend for dating her.

I know absolutely no Korean, and my GF never clues me in to the social intricacies of Korean culture.

But when we went into the store she bowed and spoke exclusively in Korean the entire time. She never introduced me. Never even motioned towards me.

The store owners brought us some candy flavored yogurt which I drank and said thank you twice for.

Then I bought about 20 dollars worth of stuff, and said thank you again.


Then my GF bowed and they shared more Korean with each other.

I started to walk out the door because I thought the conversation was ending with my GF's bow and final exchange of words.

But as I am opening the door to leave, she sais , in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear, "say Good-Bye". I know it doesn't sound like much, but her tone was very demeaning.

I stuttered a "Good-Bye" and ducked out feeling kinda embarrased.

I told my GF that I didnt appreciate the way she handled that situation. That I was uncomfortable to begin with ,and her ignoring me and then talking to me like a child just made it even worse.

She got mad and now she wont talk to me.

To be fair, you did mess up. She was doing the right thing as far as her culture was concerned and she probably didn't want to mess up anything but you dropped the ball there.

totally ignoring him and completely talking in Korean when he probably doesn't understand one word is the right thing? sure she showed respect to the elders and the family that ran the store, but she also has at least a little obligation to him dont ya think? maybe she didn't have to introduce him as her b/f, but she could at least say, this is my friend, Sal Weinerberger [or whatever].

Also, i think its a bit rude to talk entirely in Korean. Fair enough, maybe the family didn't speak English well, but she could have at least talked to him directly even if just for a minute. from what he says it looks like she totally dis'd him and didn't even acknowledge him.

 

[Dragnov]

You didn't say goodbye to Korean adults?! Strike one for you.

 

[Gunther]

your gf sounds like a b!tch... and a typical american born korean parents girl... Everything Dan said is true. In this situation I believe its her fault because she should have explained to you a long time ago the proper greeting procedures for the korean culture. Also don't say anything about the korean speaking because if you are dating with her its going to be there no matter what, its considered rude to speak to older koreans in english unless you are like me and can't speak korean

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Kick + Curb = Her

And oh yeah, pics? She'd better be at least an 8.5/10 for you to put up with that bitchy attitude.

- M4H

 

[iamme]

in the end, just buy her a nice, fake Louis Vuitton/Gucci/Burberry/Prada purse and she'll be happy.

 

[SherEPunjab]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Kick + Curb = Her

And oh yeah, pics? She'd better be at least an 8.5/10 for you to put up with that bitchy attitude.

- M4H

8.5 or 10. Theres no excuse for putting up with crap if he has ANY sort of manlihood.

 

[FuZoR]

Originally posted by: iamme
in the end, just buy her a nice, fake Louis Vuitton/Gucci/Burberry/Prada purse and she'll be happy.

ROTFLMAO ;-)

*edit*ontopic.

Korean Pride!! its a culture thing moreso then other asians..even some of the americanized ones.

last korean girl i met was adopted (white parents) so didnt have to deal with that hahahaha.