YAGT: What is worse, coming on strong or slow?

[Jugernot]

I'm in new territory here. All my previous relationships I've jumped headfirst 100% into without thinking and it NEVER turned out good. I never had patience and would quickly get infatuated with my date.... we'd get too close too quickly and things would go bad within a few months time.

This time around, I'm going at it a bit different. I'm letting my date set the schedule. We went on a date Tuesday night and we both had a great time. I wrote her an email Wed. asking if she'd like to go for dinner and bowling sometime later this week and she said "Absolutely, I think that would be fun! I had a great time last night. Thank you for the nice night. "

So, she's willing to go, but here in the problem. My work schedule is the same everyday and doesn't vary... her work schedule does. For this reason, I've been asking her what time works for her and she doesn't seem to like picking a time/day. She asked yesterday if Monday would work for me... which does work for me, but to be honest, I'd like to see her again before Monday.

Here is my question, do you guys think I would be coming on too strong if I called her up tonight and asked her to go out with me for dinner tonight (if she doesn't have plans, of course.)? Yesterday I got home around 9pm and her YIM said "Call me, I'm bored." but I had Anthropoly homework that needed to be done, so I couldn't call her. To me that means she has time where she'd like someone around. It seems like a elementary question, but over the last year I've had to question EVERYTHING I know about relationships because of my previous mistakes in relationships and it's really putting all my thoughts into doubt.

I adore her and she seems to really like me, but I don't want to drive her away by coming on too strong.

In the beginning of a relationship, how often do you guys usually go out with a date? Once a week?

Thanks guys!

Jugs

btw, Yah, this is yet another YAGT. I know most of you guys think you are "players" and will probably say "Just call her up and say "Yo, biatch, wanna go out?", but I'm looking for some more mature responses here. Please....

 

[conjur]

<--- points at sig!

:beer:

 

[EvilYoda]

<----Points at Conjur's sig! ^^^

:beer:

 

[fs5]

<--- points at EvilYoda's post!
:beer:





it's like a linked list!

 

[Spoooon]

I think you should know what you want to do and when to do it, but be ready to adjust in case of her schedule. It seems like some girls don't like making the decision on what to do or whatever.

Call her up and talk. If she's free, take her out to dinner.

 

[chilisupra]

Here's my thoughts, you can take them or leave them.

I think it's good to kind of wait in the beginning, it builds anticipation and you don't seem too desperate. ... but

Being spontaneous is also great. If i get a call from a guy who i've been dating, just out of the blue to go out. It feels great, like eating dessert before dinner (stupid analogy, but its how i feel). .. but

Too many of those and all of a sudden there is this air of desperation in there and it makes me kind of on my guard (unless I REALLY like him, then it doesn't matter at all)

Okay, so is that confusing enough? Anyway, what I would do in the situation is make plans for Monday and then just call randomly between then and say hey I know we made plans for Monday, but how bout we sneak something quick in now?

And now my dork advice is done.

 

[Jugernot]

Originally posted by: conjur
<--- points at sig!

:beer:

Kewl, didn't even know it existed.

 

[Kadarin]

I agree with chilisupra, spontanaity can be a very good thing... Just don't push too hard.