YAGT: What would you do if you found out that your significant other found your pr0n collection? Updated Resolution!

[glugglug]

I had a computer that I used to use as a pr0n SERVER -- as you can guess it had a pretty big porn collection, along with tools to automatically thumbnail hundreds of images at once and semi-intelligently categorize them based on metadata because it was too much to actually look through.

My parents sold this old computer. Wonder what the buyers thought....

 

[slackerinabox]

Get an iPod and store all of your porn on it... In a hidden directory! I doubt that she'd even suspect that..

 

[glugglug]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Get an iPod and store all of your porn on it... In a hidden directory! I doubt that she'd even suspect that..

Gives me an idea for a new thread: What would you do if your significant other found your pr0n stashed into your digital camera?

 

[RIGorous1]

updated

 

[Pepsei]

damn, she folded.... amazing...

 

[sxr7171]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: sxr7171

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: sxr7171

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: sxr7171

Originally posted by: Geekbabe I do wonder how guys would feel if they approached their g/friends/wives for sex and they said"thanks but no thanks, I'm good,I rubbed one out this morning to my 40 gig collection of naked guys.

But honestly how many times does a guy say no to sex? One of the reasons guys need porn for a backup is because women can be quite moody when it comes to sex. Whether or not a guy just rubbed one out there's still a 98% chance he'll say yes to sex. So porn doesn't prevent women from getting satisfaction so much as it keeps guys satisfied when women don't want to do it themselves. As for the OP's situation. Move your physical stash to storage (I have a big physical stash that I haven't touched in years - it just serves as my collection). This serves two purposes, one it keeps it away from your wife and two it won't be found in case you die in a car accident etc. If I remember correctly it was the movie Trainspotting where a couple of guys have pact where if one of them died the other would go quickly and remove the porn collection before anybody finds it (please correct me if I have the wrong movie). As for your computer collection, there are so many ways to protect it from prying eyes. First get tweakui and get rid of document history and stupid crap like that. Put all your stuff in a single hidden folder and name the folder "system." Next find some sort of encryption password protection software and just apply it on that one folder. Some programs won't allow the contents to show up in searches either. If you do it right she'll never find it, and you can have access to it whenever she leaves you alone with the computer. Otherwise get a small laptop and make it your personal machine with password protection etc. Say you it got from work or something, and happily view in the bathroom or wherever. Turn on the shower to confuse her more.

Judging from convo's I've had with women who are divorcing in part because they have almost zero sex lives, I'd say lots of guys say "no" to sex with wives and g/friends on a fairly regular basis.

You say "in part because they have amost zero sex lives." There are so many reasons that go way beyond sex itself that cause these divorces. Since you're talking about sex lives as a cause, I have to say that even you must surely understand that the cause of a poor sex life in a relationship is not due to sexual factors but due primarily to emotional factors. When the chemistry isn't there any more it's both partners' fault, and sometimes it takes work to get back into the swing of things. If you think about cause and effect in this situation; the cause is a poor sex life, and the effect is a guy rubbing himself out - it is not that a guy rubbing himself out leads to a poor sex life. There isn't a guy out there who would rather rub himself out instead and making love to a loving GF/Wife.

Let's put it to you this way,not every guy is 16 yrs old and when you get older once or twice a day might be all the going a guy can manage,if an image on a 2D screen gets the action what do you think the wife gets at day's end? exactly nothing.The stories of guys awake at 2am pleasuring themselves in the computer room night after night aren't exactly rare.There are a lot of guys out there who are so pulled into 2D images that their real time relationships suffer and crumble.

Let's take the example of the guy who can manage it only once a day. In the morning he doesn't have time to pull it off before work so he goes to work unspent. Hopefully he doesn't pull out a little mini collection on his PDA to use in the executive men's room during the work day. If he came home to a good, loving relationship, I assure you he would greatly prefer to use his one daily shot in an event of passionate lovemaking instead on his 5 little friends. When you mention "The stories of guys awake at 2am pleasuring themselves in the computer room" the first thing I thought was that he wouldn't need to be doing that if everything was right with the relationship so that he and his wife could have shared in the pleasure. So you see, even if a guy has only one shot everyday the use of pornography to release that shot is a result of a poor relationship and not a cause of.

Back in the good old day if you wanted porn you had to make a trip to a store for it,now all you've got to do is log onto your computer or turn on the tv to view an ever changing array of every sort of sexual imaging in the world .This stuff is like eating candy a little is great and satisfies the appetite but like sweets,you eat too many everyday and it spoils your appetite for plain old meat and potato's. Good relationship or not for some people the stuff is addictive and does cause problems for them in their relationships.

Any guy here will vouch the 2D stuff does not make guys lose their appetite for the real thing (and some already have; consult flexy's post).

We have gone from "this stuff is causing divorces" to "for some people the stuff is addictive and does cause problems for them in their relationships." Besides being a tremendous weakening of your original argument, you could say that about anything from alcohol to television to internet forums to hobbies.

 

[sxr7171]

Originally posted by: RIGorous1
updated

Good job! It's nice to see you could reason with her and could go the honest route. Give her a little extra action for her understanding.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: RIGorous1
Just wondering because my wife just found my stash from college days and she blew up saying she didn't know I was such a pervert and all. It was nothing weird like beastiality or anything, just stuff from jenna, lexus, etc. Anyways I retorted that every guy does it, and that at least it was controlled and not real like with a prostitute or anything. Am I right?

Nevertheless she is pissed and wants me to throw it all away... everything, and anything with a girl on it. Is she over-reacting? Should I toss it?

Thanks for your serious comments

Edit update: So I put my foot down on the issue, but ofcourse with a few concessions. I can't watch it around her, talk about the girls, or come to her with a preheated oven ... she admits that she is insecure with her sexuality, and by me not doing the above things she can hopefully get over it. I admit that I'm addicted to sex, but that I don't consider women to be objects. To me its like art (some might say its not unlike collecting stamps ). Nevertheless, its something that I enjoy, and that enjoyment is a part of who I am. Therefore, she's decide to accept me for who and what I am and we'll work things out.

Thanks for all your help in this discussion, and all the funny/clever/personal posts that got us through this.

Rig

So what does she get out of this?

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: Wingznut
If you are a mature person ready for a committed relationship, this is an EASY fix... Toss it.

It obviously bothers her and causes her angst. Is porn really that important to you???

So free to throw away your independence, are you? There are ways to fix a relationship without giving things up.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: RIGorous1
Just wondering because my wife just found my stash from college days and she blew up saying she didn't know I was such a pervert and all. It was nothing weird like beastiality or anything, just stuff from jenna, lexus, etc. Anyways I retorted that every guy does it, and that at least it was controlled and not real like with a prostitute or anything. Am I right?

Nevertheless she is pissed and wants me to throw it all away... everything, and anything with a girl on it. Is she over-reacting? Should I toss it?

Thanks for your serious comments

Edit update: So I put my foot down on the issue, but ofcourse with a few concessions. I can't watch it around her, talk about the girls, or come to her with a preheated oven ... she admits that she is insecure with her sexuality, and by me not doing the above things she can hopefully get over it. I admit that I'm addicted to sex, but that I don't consider women to be objects. To me its like art (some might say its not unlike collecting stamps ). Nevertheless, its something that I enjoy, and that enjoyment is a part of who I am. Therefore, she's decide to accept me for who and what I am and we'll work things out.

Thanks for all your help in this discussion, and all the funny/clever/personal posts that got us through this.

Rig

So what does she get out of this?

Sounds like she gets to stay in the relationship. Remember that he undoubtedly has some excellent qualities that are unrelated to the discussion at hand, and remember that both parties have significant emotional investment in this (not to mention financial and other possible investments). A breakup might have been disastrous for her as well, you know.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: RIGorous1
Just wondering because my wife just found my stash from college days and she blew up saying she didn't know I was such a pervert and all. It was nothing weird like beastiality or anything, just stuff from jenna, lexus, etc. Anyways I retorted that every guy does it, and that at least it was controlled and not real like with a prostitute or anything. Am I right?

Nevertheless she is pissed and wants me to throw it all away... everything, and anything with a girl on it. Is she over-reacting? Should I toss it?

Thanks for your serious comments

Edit update: So I put my foot down on the issue, but ofcourse with a few concessions. I can't watch it around her, talk about the girls, or come to her with a preheated oven ... she admits that she is insecure with her sexuality, and by me not doing the above things she can hopefully get over it. I admit that I'm addicted to sex, but that I don't consider women to be objects. To me its like art (some might say its not unlike collecting stamps ). Nevertheless, its something that I enjoy, and that enjoyment is a part of who I am. Therefore, she's decide to accept me for who and what I am and we'll work things out.

Thanks for all your help in this discussion, and all the funny/clever/personal posts that got us through this.

Rig

So what does she get out of this?

Sounds like she gets to stay in the relationship. Remember that he undoubtedly has some excellent qualities that are unrelated to the discussion at hand, and remember that both parties have significant emotional investment in this (not to mention financial and other possible investments). A breakup might have been disastrous for her as well, you know.

Well I'm not hearing anything about a "significant emotional investment" on either side ,if both parties are happy with the resolution though that's all that matters.The OP does describes himself as "an addict" though and I'm curious as to what behaviors that includes and what effect that might have on things.

 

[imported_Papi]

I thiink its only geeks that store porn and stuff because my SO doesnt look at pron on the PC he HATES the pc, he doesnt buy it either because thats a waste of money. If him and the guys want to go to a stirp club Im down with that, but thats rarely because he works so much. So basically long story short Im his porn star and I have to deal with the repercusions of him not being an internet nerd who downloads unlimited amounts of porn or being a greay slim ball who buys it.

sucks to be me huh.

 

[Fraggster]

Originally posted by: Maleficus
C O M P U T E R

all the pr0n u need + she won't find it

:beer:

 

[Fraggster]

Originally posted by: ohtwell
My hubby doesn't have to hide his stash, because I don't care about him looking at pr0n.

Oh, and your wife is def. overreacting!


: ) Amanda

 

[eviltoon]

When I got married my wife insisted that I get rid of my pet tarantula. I had the damn thing for 10 years! And I got rid of it. We've been married 17 years...I never should have gotten rid of it. She should not have asked. We both know this now. She says this to me on occasion.

As for pron, when married you should share. If that doesn't work...don't get rid of the spider. If your hording and secretive,then you are wrong. If you are open, then she is wrong to demand.
Also,
Is your wife Asian? Mine is and she has the worst time accepting the simple fact that I work with and talk to women. And I haven't screwed around in 17 years...go figure! Life is weird. I don't get it.

 

[RIGorous1]

Originally posted by: eviltoon
When I got married my wife insisted that I get rid of my pet tarantula. I had the damn thing for 10 years! And I got rid of it. We've been married 17 years...I never should have gotten rid of it. She should not have asked. We both know this now. She says this to me on occasion.

As for pron, when married you should share. If that doesn't work...don't get rid of the spider. If your hording and secretive,then you are wrong. If you are open, then she is wrong to demand.
Also,
Is your wife Asian? Mine is and she has the worst time accepting the simple fact that I work with and talk to women. And I haven't screwed around in 17 years...go figure! Life is weird. I don't get it.

Yes my wife is asian and was born in her respective country, in which case my story is not unique. I on the other hand, was born here and grew up in LA. She's been in the US for over 10 years now, but issues like victoria secret poster girls (don't even get started on porn) are still part of her culture shock.

In response to Geekbabe, I call myself and "addict" because its something I like to do very very much. I don't know if it is in-born or social, but I like it and its something I've always liked since I entered adolescence. Ofcourse, I adhere to social norms such as serial monogamy and would not cheat on her. I don't watch the weird abusive p0rn or beastiality or anything, just the "normal" stuff. nan0bug mentioned that for most guys watching the p0rn is just a physical thing, and that the true emotional stuff comes from being in a relationship. Physically not unlike the adrenaline rush that some athletes push hard to achieve; however, an emotional relationship is most important... This fact is something that we all must deal with.