Originally posted by: mjuszczak
The Boston ex girlfriend (the one that caused me ALL that heartache) called me today to tell me:
1) I am sleeping with someone as a " hook up " since last week.
2) I now realize "How well you treated me and how lucky I was to have you"
3) "No one will ever hold me like you did"
I asked her about the new guy. She says its just a fling. I asked her if she finally wants to get together one day and say hi. She says she doesn't know because she will always love me and it hurts too much, but she wants to try being friends. We then went on to have a conversation like we used to and I even gave her sex tips! And she laughed.
What hurts is is that she kept talking about how nice this new guy is, even though they are just hooking up. I told her I still love her and hope to one day try again, and her respnose was somewhat positive but wasn't perfectly what I would have wanted.
Is this one of those famous "I realized what I lost and moved on and I want to be friends now but just letting you know that I appreciate all you did" conversations? Or is she actually realizing what she lost and keeping her "hook up" going but I might one day have a chance again if I keep being her friend and keep being there for her?
For a recap of all I've gone through with her:
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.aspx?catid=38&threadid=1873902
typical. girl breaks up with guy to see what else is out there (this is the case, doesn't matter what she convinced you her reasons were). girl hooks up, has wild and exciting sex for awhile.
2 directions this can go:
if new guy is smart --
he isn't showing her ridiculous amounts of attention, or feeding her compliments left and right. he sees it as a temporary circumstance with her, and treats it as such. this upsets her, so she turns to you, who did manage to feed her ego. in other areas, she found you lacking, which is why she left you in the first place. at this juncture, however, her ego needs more tending than her vagina, so she's calling you up.
this will lead to you trying something again, but once you've outlived your usefulness (which you've already done once), she will go out on the prowl (so to speak) again and find a way to fulfill herself again (since you probably didn't become some woman-conquistador over night). repeat cycle xinfinity, or until you have a breakdown and slash your wrists.
if new guy is stupid --
he's dedicated himself completely to her, even if if she hasn't to him. he's basically playing the role you previously held, and now she's grown tired of him, and enjoys the freshness that you supposedly bring, since you haven't been in each other's face for awhile. you may start a relationship with her again. but she will, as with the aforementioned alternate situation, grow tired of you again because you're still the same guy she left originally. you just don't do it for her. and she will leave you again, either for the current heart-broken new guy who will take her back just as readily as you would now, or for yet another hapless, clueless idiot who is tired of cleaning out the jaccuzzi jetspouts everyday.
either way -- you're in a for a world of hurt. of course, you could get over her, and look elsewhere instead of being stupidly convinced that she was the greatest thing that ever happened to you, thus wallowing in misery and longing. in which case you would avoid both scenarios completely, but hey -- that'd be too easy, right?