Yard Sale Ethics Question

hoyaguru

Senior member
Jun 9, 2003
893
3
81
My wife and I had a yard sale back on May 1st. Included in our "treasures" were two items, a portable dish washer, and a home made wishing well. The wishing well is huge, it stands about 6 1/2 feet high, and is heavy enough that it would take three strong men to move it. I used to build them to sell, and had one in my front yard to show people what they would be getting, it had been out there for about 6 years, but was still in perfect shape. The dish washer is on wheels, you hook it up to your sink, do your dishes, disconnect it and roll it onto the closet.

Within an hour of the start of the sale, a woman showed up and purchased the dish washer and wishing well for $125 ($75 for the dish washer, $50 for the well). She paid with a check, and said she would send someone to pick both items up within a week. We had already had a couple of people who were interested in the dish washer, but they didn't have the money on them and said they would come back, so we could have sold it easily. We also had two other people ask about the well throughout the day, but I told them it was already sold.

Weeks went by, and we never heard back from the woman who bought the items. I cashed the check and waited. After two weeks, I called the number she had given and left a message. A full month after the sale, she showed up at my door, told me she had had surgery, and that's why she hadn't been able to pick the items up. She said she would come back within a few weeks. Again, we waited, and did not hear from her.

Today I received a letter in the mail from her, that said she was now unable to pick up the items, as her friends couldn't do it, and it would cost her $300 to have a company come and get them. She asked me if I would send her back the money.

Now, we could have easily sold both items to other people back on May 1st, but because she had given us money for them, we had to tell everyone who was interested that they were no longer for sale. We're not planning on having any more yard sales, so we're not going to have the chance to sell them again. What should we do? Should I send her a letter telling her that we're keeping the money, the items are hers, and they'll be here for her to pick them up? Or should I send her back the money? In her letter, she states that she lives on disability ($800 a month) and can't afford to lose the $125. On our end, I was laid off last February (which is one of the reasons we had the yard sale, we needed the money), am living on unemployment, and the $125 has been spent.

So, what's the right thing to do? Personally, I think if she is living on $800 per month disability, she shouldn't have bought the items in the first place, but there was no way for me to know that when she bought them, and it's really none of my business. I was thinking of telling her that we could try to sell both items again (through Craig's List or maybe a friend's yard sale), and if we can sell them for the same price, we can send her the money.
 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
you'd be justified keeping the money and telling the woman that the items are hers to pick up whenever she wants to... but that's kind of a douche move.

if it were me, I'd take my lumps, return the money to her, and attempt to resell the items on craigslist. but I'd rather be nice than right.
 

AndroidVageta

Banned
Mar 22, 2008
2,421
0
0
If you have a truck deliver the items, if not get a friend to help. Problem solved.

This or tell her tough shit. She paid for the items and you cashed the check. The money is yours, the items are hers. Period. She shouldnt have bought them if she was living off disability and shouldnt have bought them unless she could move them.

Consider it a life lesson for her benefit...I see no reason why you should have to refund her money.
 

M0oG0oGaiPan

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2000
7,858
2
0
digitalgamedeals.com
I think the onus is on her. She made a purchase without thinking it through. Now she has buyers remorse. Shouldn't be your problem. Holding it for her to pick up later would be more than enough. Or maybe you can offer to sell it to someone else and you would pay her back like $100?
 

hoyaguru

Senior member
Jun 9, 2003
893
3
81
If you have a truck deliver the items, if not get a friend to help. Problem solved.

I don't have a truck, plus I've got a ruptured disc in my back, so no lifting for me. Even if I had a truck, I would have to rent a trailer to move the well, it weighs about 500 to 600 pounds. Getting it up on the back of a truck would be very hard without a fork lift, and I don't want to have to get my friends over here to load it up, deliver it, and put it where the woman wants it. I wouldn't feel right doing that without giving them all something ($20 - $40) for the labor. After all that, I'd be out all the money she paid me.
 

AndroidVageta

Banned
Mar 22, 2008
2,421
0
0
Obviously to return the money.


But the smart thing to do would be to keep the money it and sell the items again.

I wouldnt even come close to say that the "obvious" choice is to return the money...she made a purchase and didnt think it through. Im not an asshole by any means, but the OP shouldnt have to do anything here. Its not his fault she couldnt take care of her side of things.
 

Lifted

Diamond Member
Nov 30, 2004
5,748
2
0
I was thinking of telling her that we could try to sell both items again (through Craig's List or maybe a friend's yard sale), and if we can sell them for the same price, we can send her the money.

This.

Why should you suffer any financial hardship (however small) because she can't manage her money? She waited months, now she can wait a bit longer until you sell the items for whatever you can get.
 

AlienCraft

Lifer
Nov 23, 2002
10,539
0
0
This.

Why should you suffer any financial hardship (however small) because she can't manage her money? She waited months, now she can wait a bit longer until you sell the items for whatever you can get.
This x2
Actually heard a story on a call-in radio show that was remarkably similar.
This is what the lawyer said the person should do.

After the check was cashed and notice was given, responsibility moves to the hands of the purchaser to recover the goods.
Abandoned Sale/ Purchase is what we're talking about.
 

ScottSwing

Banned
Jun 13, 2010
447
0
0
I wouldnt even come close to say that the "obvious" choice is to return the money...she made a purchase and didnt think it through. Im not an asshole by any means, but the OP shouldnt have to do anything here. Its not his fault she couldnt take care of her side of things.
I said that would be the right thing to do. "Fair" and "convenient" are different matters.
 

hoyaguru

Senior member
Jun 9, 2003
893
3
81
I said that would be the right thing to do. "Fair" and "convenient" are different matters.

It's tempting to just give the money back and be done with it, but the way I see it, I did nothing wrong here. She bought the items, and by giving me the money for them immediately, stopped me from selling them to other people who would have bought them. It's not my fault that she made a bad decision, she actually ended up with a hell of a deal. I've seen similar dish washers (it is in perfect condition, only used 5 times) sell for $175, and when I was building and selling the wishing wells, I was selling them for $375 (it cost over $200 for the wood, and took several days to build, these things are HUGE). So it's not like I was ripping her off. The only thing I'm worried about is if she turns out to be a psycho and makes my life hell over this. I don't want to have to go to court, though I have no doubt I would win, it would be a pain in the neck to have to go through. If I were working, I might not even care, but after 4 months on unemployment, and the job market the way it is, every penny counts
 

DaveSimmons

Elite Member
Aug 12, 2001
40,730
670
126
Are you planning any more garage sales? You could say you'll try to sell them for her and give her the proceeds of the sales (once the checks clear).

I'm Lawful Good with Light Side Mastery but I would not feel obligated to refund the money after six weeks.
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
81
I said that would be the right thing to do. "Fair" and "convenient" are different matters.

Why is it the right thing to do? The "right thing to do" stopped when this woman left her items that she paid for on his property for months and now asked for her money back.

It might be the nice thing to do to give her back her money, but "right" doesn't come into the equation. He is perfectly right if he wants to keep the money.
 

ScottSwing

Banned
Jun 13, 2010
447
0
0
It's tempting to just give the money back and be done with it, but the way I see it, I did nothing wrong here. She bought the items, and by giving me the money for them immediately, stopped me from selling them to other people who would have bought them. It's not my fault that she made a bad decision, she actually ended up with a hell of a deal. I've seen similar dish washers (it is in perfect condition, only used 5 times) sell for $175, and when I was building and selling the wishing wells, I was selling them for $375 (it cost over $200 for the wood, and took several days to build, these things are HUGE). So it's not like I was ripping her off. The only thing I'm worried about is if she turns out to be a psycho and makes my life hell over this. I don't want to have to go to court, though I have no doubt I would win, it would be a pain in the neck to have to go through. If I were working, I might not even care, but after 4 months on unemployment, and the job market the way it is, every penny counts

Personally, I would reluctantly return the money and sell the stuff on Craigslist for whatever price. That way everyone's happy.
She did screw up, but I would appreciate the empathy if I were in her situation.

But like I said, the smart thing would be to keep the money and sell the items again.

Have you already spent the money?
 

Gigantopithecus

Diamond Member
Dec 14, 2004
7,664
0
71
I don't know if enough time has elapsed for the items to be legally considered abandoned, but the items became hers the moment she paid for them. It would be wrong for you to keep the money and the items, but it's wrong for her to ask for a refund because she can't get her shit together. Tell her the items are hers and if she wishes to sell them, she can have the buyer pick them up from you. Tell her you will also advertise the items, and if they sell, you will send her the money then.
 
Last edited:

ScottSwing

Banned
Jun 13, 2010
447
0
0
Why is it the right thing to do? The "right thing to do" stopped when this woman left her items that she paid for on his property for months and now asked for her money back.

It might be the nice thing to do to give her back her money, but "right" doesn't come into the equation. He is perfectly right if he wants to keep the money.

It isn't right for the buyer, who's done nothing explicitly wrong. She said she'd return in a week, but didn't. That was acceptable for the seller, who was being courteous. This went on for a while and patience grew thin.

Of course it's her responsibility to claim the merchandise, but we aren't in a court of law and there are other factors in play. They're both in dire financial situations and the seller would certainly be appreciative if he were no longer able to pay for an item he bought.

If it were a retail store or if something were in writing, you'd be right. But obviously, there's room for leniency in this case.
 

Bl0cks

Golden Member
Oct 9, 2008
1,336
0
0
Tell her to sell them herself? If you know you can make more for them, I would give her the money back and profit from getting more for them.

I understand you don't have the money at hand, but maybe reach a compromise?
 

sjwaste

Diamond Member
Aug 2, 2000
8,757
12
81
If you have the means to move that stuff, just deliver it. Otherwise, refund her money. Sounds like she has it a little harder than you and it's only $125. Probably means more to her than you.

I'm a lawyer, but this is one of those situations where it really shouldn't have to come to those kinds of remedies. Do what makes you a decent person and refund or deliver, unless you're in a similar situation financially.
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
81
It isn't right for the buyer, who's done nothing explicitly wrong. She said she'd return in a week, but didn't. That was acceptable for the seller, who was being courteous. This went on for a while and patience grew thin.

Of course it's her responsibility to claim the merchandise, but we aren't in a court of law and there are other factors in play. They're both in dire financial situations and the seller would certainly be appreciative if he were no longer able to pay for an item he bought.

If it were a retail store or if something were in writing, you'd be right. But obviously, there's room for leniency in this case.

When you say the "right thing to do" would be to return the money, I still disagree. It would be the "nice thing to do", but it would also be right if he kept the money. He is under no obligation to return the money. He sold accepted the money on good faith that the buyer wanted the items. He was already nice by allowing them to be stored on his property for a week.

Nice thing to do does not = right thing to do. I'm not saying it would be explicitly wrong for him to return the money. I just take exception to saying that returning the money is THE right thing to do, as if he is morally obligated to return the money.

I'm talking morally here. If you are speaking to lawfully or something else then we are talking on different issues . Though I think even lawfully he isn't under an obligation to return the money.
 

hoyaguru

Senior member
Jun 9, 2003
893
3
81
If you have the means to move that stuff, just deliver it. Otherwise, refund her money. Sounds like she has it a little harder than you and it's only $125. Probably means more to her than you.

I'm a lawyer, but this is one of those situations where it really shouldn't have to come to those kinds of remedies. Do what makes you a decent person and refund or deliver, unless you're in a similar situation financially.

Well, although at the moment she might have it a little harder than me, in about a month I'm going in for surgery for the ruptured disc in my back. Getting a complete disc replacement, spinal fusion, the whole nine yards. Once this happens, I'll be on disability myself for about 5 months, and once THAT is over, from what I understand, I can't go back on unemployment, so I'll be making zero dollars per month until I can find a job, which could take god knows how long. So if it comes down to who is worse off, it's a toss up. Again, this is the reason we were selling stuff in the first place, to get money for the lean times ahead. Also, for all I know, she might have just had buyers remorse or something, and the whole disability thing is just a story, it's impossible to say. I think I'm just going to write her a letter and tell her that the items are here for her if she can get them, and if I can sell them for the same amount, I'll send her the money. I'm not going to try to make more money off of them, I feel that THAT would be unethical, but I'd be more than happy to sell the items for her.
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Fvck her if for no reason other than hanging you out like that for two months.

Tell her it's her stuff, the money is spent. She can pick it up by the end of the week or else you're having a dump company pick it up and that you've not yet decided whether you'll bill her for that, too.

These things are not yours. She owns them. They are simply on your property. Imagine if you bought furniture from a store, said you'd pick it up in a week, and two months later say sorry I'm not coming anymore can I have my money back, what do you think the store would say?

I feel strongly about this because people are idiots. I hate people acting like stupid asses over stuff like this, she should at the very least eat the loss and chalk it up as a learning lesson. If she's that hard up for money why is she buying a well. the hell?

Give her a time limit or else she'll keep dicking you around.
 

hoyaguru

Senior member
Jun 9, 2003
893
3
81
Deliver them for free.

As I posted before, it would cost me money to deliver them. With my back, I wouldn't be able to help with the dishwasher, let alone the wishing well. Renting a trailer would probably be at least $20, the labor for at least three guys to put the items on the trailer, deliver them, and set them up where the lady wants them, she would end up with the items and I'd end up with a couple of dollars left over. Doesn't seem too fair to me.
 
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