You are single and have $1,000,000 in assets.

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: ahurtt

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: Skoorb
No, if you need one don't get married. Even if you do have a reasonably good chance of divorce (and you do), you're just a fvcking douche if you go around with that hanging over the marriage's head. If you love her enough to marry her now you should love her enough to give her a bunch of money later. And so what if you lose some money, you'll die one day and your net worth won't count for a sh*t in the woods.

From the general world point of view:
I wouldn't want to ever have to for one second think that my spouse was staying with me because of the dramatic lifestyle change they'd have if they left. Pre-nup and the changes of financial status that it brings provides incentive for people to stay by lying and cheating rather than being honest about the end of a relationship.

From my point of view:
I want to commit everything I have in life, including my financials, to this relationship, that's why I'm getting married in the first place. I don't want an out clause or a do-over button.

A prenup brings the thing in bold above to the person who came into the relationship without all the money. For the person who has the assets it is supposed to protect, it can have the opposite effect making it too easy for them to just abandon the marriage because of petty squabbles or difficulties which EVERY MARRIAGE WILL HAVE at some point. Bottom line is, if your spouse is going to lie and cheat on you, they are going to do so regardless of whether there is a prenup. A prenup will not serve as a deterrent to adultery or conflict in an unhappy marriage.

My point was that a prenup will ENCOURAGE adultery and conflict avoidance.

"If I leave, I go from living on $150k a year to $30k a year. I might as well stay, be polite to my spouse and go have my bit on the side. It's not optimum but better than nothing."

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

So for the "if you get a prenup you're marriage is gonna fail/you don't love her/etc" people.

Why do you have a homeowners/renters insurance policy? To insure you against a possible future loss, that may or may not happen (outside of the loan requirement aspect of it)? A prenup is the same, just for your spouse.

Oh, and your spouse can benefit just as much as you can from a prenup. Even if my SO and I are exactly the same as far as our assets at marriage, earning potential is the same, and currently make exactly the same it STILL MAKES SENSE. A prenup can protect either or both people involved, and should be signed because unfortunately people do change. Yeah, my SO and I love one another right now but whose to say in 5 years we still will? Nobody.

A prenup is an insurance policy against one person getting more than their fair share in a divorce. That is all. It's not "setting it up to fail", nor does it mean "you don't love your SO", nor any of that other shit. It's simply protecting yourself against an entirely possible outcome of the marriage.

 

[mchammer187]

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: mchammer187

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: mchammer187
I wouldn't ever ask for a prenup. I also wouldn't propose if there was any doubt in my mind though. Most marriages fail because the two should not have ever gotten married in the first place and there are usually signs of this.

More like most marriages fuck men over because they're ignorant enough to be as naive as you are about womens maliciousness and the inevitable ass-raping you will get when she gets tired of you and wants to move onto a new set of testicles and take half your money with her.

To each his own. I work with a guy who's paid child support for three years on a kid that isn't even his because our state laws consider you a financial dependent if you live with a woman for a year and then decide to leave her - so, sorry, you'll never convince me that getting married period is even worth it let alone will I ever do it without making sure my financial assets are solely mine.

I'm not naive about women. I am approaching (27 now) 30 and have never even been close to getting married. I have been "in love" but that still isn't enough for me.

The simple fact that you think you have any idea how women work, or in fact ever will, makes me weep for the male species. You cannot rationalize that which is not rational. You will never reach any age, barring some mystical immortality and even then I'm dubious of the results of this particular experiment, where you will ever understand the female mind.

Did I say how I know exactly how females work?

You just claimed I am naive about women. I am no more naive than about how women work than can be expected of a man.

I'll just say this. If I am naive so are you and so is every other man on this planet.

 

[nonameo]

Huh? get married?

 

[irishScott]

Um, 1 mil isn't that much. A nice house where I live will cost you about that much, and that's just the house. (I live in Northern VA)

 

[Saga]

Originally posted by: mchammer187
Did I say how I know exactly how females work?

You just claimed I am naive about women. I am no more naive than about how women work than can be expected of a man.

I'll just say this. If I am naive so are you and so is every other man on this planet.

Your statement is absolute truth and I'm glad to see we agree.

 

[TallBill]

After already being divorced once, I'd sign a prenup this time around.

 

[jonks]

Originally posted by: mchammer187
i'm pretty sure if you have a prenup for assets earned during a marriage you have a 99% chance of getting it thrown out

utter nonsense

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: irishScott
Um, 1 mil isn't that much. A nice house where I live will cost you about that much, and that's just the house. (I live in Northern VA)

lol newsflash most ppl dont own their home.

 

[FelixDeCat]

Originally posted by: irishScott
Um, 1 mil isn't that much. A nice house where I live will cost you about that much, and that's just the house. (I live in Northern VA)

Thats true. But lose that $1M and you realize what you had....and what you lost. Thunder only happens when its raining. Players only love you while they are playing. Say women they will come and they will go-oh. When the rain washes clean, youll know what you lost.

 

[sutahz]

Yes I'm single.
No I'm not worth $1M
If marriage ever comes up for me, I'll be getting a prenup to protect her and me.

 

[Miramonti]

It may not be worth committing to spousal support/payout early on when the money and/or income may not be there later. $1m is not a lot of money.

 

[sao123]

if I feel the need to have a prenump, then I wouldnt be marrying her.
trust is everything.
divorce is not an option.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: jonks

Originally posted by: mchammer187
I wouldn't ever ask for a prenup. I also wouldn't propose if there was any doubt in my mind though. Most marriages fail because the two should not have ever gotten married in the first place and there are usually signs of this.

fail. prenups aren't because you think the marriage will fail anymore than you put liferafts on a cruiseship because you think it will sink. it's precaution, and given divorce rates, if you have sizeable pre-marital assets it's idiotic to not consider one.

in the heat of the moment you or your partner can do some crazy things... which leads to more crazy things which leads to vindictiveness... no matter how good you guys were at one point, it can get ugly quick. If you're worth a lot, or at least worth a lot more than the other, do the prenup.

 

[Triumph]

Remember what Chris Rock said. "If you have 20 million and she takes half, so what? You ain't starvin! Now if you make 30,000, and she takes half? You might have to kill her!"

 

[AstroManLuca]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: ahurtt

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: Skoorb
No, if you need one don't get married. Even if you do have a reasonably good chance of divorce (and you do), you're just a fvcking douche if you go around with that hanging over the marriage's head. If you love her enough to marry her now you should love her enough to give her a bunch of money later. And so what if you lose some money, you'll die one day and your net worth won't count for a sh*t in the woods.

From the general world point of view:
I wouldn't want to ever have to for one second think that my spouse was staying with me because of the dramatic lifestyle change they'd have if they left. Pre-nup and the changes of financial status that it brings provides incentive for people to stay by lying and cheating rather than being honest about the end of a relationship.

From my point of view:
I want to commit everything I have in life, including my financials, to this relationship, that's why I'm getting married in the first place. I don't want an out clause or a do-over button.

A prenup brings the thing in bold above to the person who came into the relationship without all the money. For the person who has the assets it is supposed to protect, it can have the opposite effect making it too easy for them to just abandon the marriage because of petty squabbles or difficulties which EVERY MARRIAGE WILL HAVE at some point. Bottom line is, if your spouse is going to lie and cheat on you, they are going to do so regardless of whether there is a prenup. A prenup will not serve as a deterrent to adultery or conflict in an unhappy marriage.

My point was that a prenup will ENCOURAGE adultery and conflict avoidance.

"If I leave, I go from living on $150k a year to $30k a year. I might as well stay, be polite to my spouse and go have my bit on the side. It's not optimum but better than nothing."

"My spouse sucks to be with/is cheating on me. If I get a divorce, he/she will take half my money, so I guess I'll just put up with it and live with an unhappy marriage. Damn, it's too bad I didn't get a prenup."

Works both ways.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: sao123
if I feel the need to have a prenump, then I wouldnt be marrying her.
trust is everything.
divorce is not an option.

Noun 1. delusions of grandeur - a delusion (common in paranoia) that you are much greater and more powerful and influential than you really are
delusion, psychotic belief - (psychology) an erroneous belief that is held in the face of evidence to the contrary
megalomania - a psychological state characterized by delusions of grandeur

 

[ahurtt]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: ahurtt

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: Skoorb
No, if you need one don't get married. Even if you do have a reasonably good chance of divorce (and you do), you're just a fvcking douche if you go around with that hanging over the marriage's head. If you love her enough to marry her now you should love her enough to give her a bunch of money later. And so what if you lose some money, you'll die one day and your net worth won't count for a sh*t in the woods.

From the general world point of view:
I wouldn't want to ever have to for one second think that my spouse was staying with me because of the dramatic lifestyle change they'd have if they left. Pre-nup and the changes of financial status that it brings provides incentive for people to stay by lying and cheating rather than being honest about the end of a relationship.

From my point of view:
I want to commit everything I have in life, including my financials, to this relationship, that's why I'm getting married in the first place. I don't want an out clause or a do-over button.

A prenup brings the thing in bold above to the person who came into the relationship without all the money. For the person who has the assets it is supposed to protect, it can have the opposite effect making it too easy for them to just abandon the marriage because of petty squabbles or difficulties which EVERY MARRIAGE WILL HAVE at some point. Bottom line is, if your spouse is going to lie and cheat on you, they are going to do so regardless of whether there is a prenup. A prenup will not serve as a deterrent to adultery or conflict in an unhappy marriage.

My point was that a prenup will ENCOURAGE adultery and conflict avoidance.

"If I leave, I go from living on $150k a year to $30k a year. I might as well stay, be polite to my spouse and go have my bit on the side. It's not optimum but better than nothing."

So then if I may presume, you are implying that in the absence of a prenup an unhappy spouse (the one who entered the marriage with lesser assets) would be more likely to just leave and happily take half of what you have rather than go out and have a discreet fling on the side? The absence of the prenup makes this scenario just as likely as the scenario of having a prenup causing the unhappy spouse to cheat and hide it. Either way you're screwed from where I'm sitting. Which was basically my point that prenup or no, the prenup has basically no bearing on whether or not the marriage will be happy/successful. Having it or not can only alter the course of events that are the outcome of an unhappy marriage. Adultery and conflict don't arise BECAUSE there either is or isn't a prenup.

But in general I see what you are saying. . .the prenup can act as a trap in an unhappy marriage for the person with lesser assets and it can act also as an "easy out" for the person with the majority of the assets in the event something goes a little bumpy and they overreact. The minute the person with the majority of the assets ever tries to use that prenup as a threat or means of control over their spouse though. . .well that marriage is basically over. And by the same token, the minute the person with lesser assets ever uses it as an excuse not to leave. . .that marriage is basically over too.

 

[TruePaige]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige
No way...if you aren't sure enough to trust your spouse completely you shouldn't be married.

statistically only what 30% of ppl should marry then ? lol

and this has nothing to do with trust. ITs about covering your ass in the event she goes ntus. Unless your a fortune teller nobody can tell if or when that will happen.

At least half the marriages in this country probably shouldn't happen, or people should at least wait longer to know they are with the one they want to be with for the rest of their lives.

Honestly, this topic is endemic of the systematic decline of quality unions. You shouldn't marry for lust, passion, looks or money. All those things should be present but should not be driving factors. You should marry someone because you LOVE them and you can live with them for the rest of your life, tolerating the bad and embracing the good.

If you don't think you could survive a year of the worst day you've ever had with someone to make it work, I don't think you are ready to be married, because you don't love the other person enough to have "bounce back".

lol ok but again this has nothing to do with you or me. I can only 100% be sure that I can control my own choices and actions. She can flip out and leave whenever she wants....thats what the pre-nup is for.

Maybe you don't think so...and I'm not going to force my thoughts on you...have a pre nup if you want.

I just think that you should know your partner better than that after the courting period to be able to make a decision to marry or not that requires no pre nup.

Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly, and implements that make divorce easier aren't very helpful to that ends.

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: sao123
if I feel the need to have a prenump, then I wouldnt be marrying her.
trust is everything.
divorce is not an option.

Noun 1. delusions of grandeur - a delusion (common in paranoia) that you are much greater and more powerful and influential than you really are
delusion, psychotic belief - (psychology) an erroneous belief that is held in the face of evidence to the contrary
megalomania - a psychological state characterized by delusions of grandeur

Dude, just stop.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I think those who swear by a pre-nup are deathly afraid of finding someone who is exactly like themselves.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige
No way...if you aren't sure enough to trust your spouse completely you shouldn't be married.

statistically only what 30% of ppl should marry then ? lol

and this has nothing to do with trust. ITs about covering your ass in the event she goes ntus. Unless your a fortune teller nobody can tell if or when that will happen.

At least half the marriages in this country probably shouldn't happen, or people should at least wait longer to know they are with the one they want to be with for the rest of their lives.

Honestly, this topic is endemic of the systematic decline of quality unions. You shouldn't marry for lust, passion, looks or money. All those things should be present but should not be driving factors. You should marry someone because you LOVE them and you can live with them for the rest of your life, tolerating the bad and embracing the good.

If you don't think you could survive a year of the worst day you've ever had with someone to make it work, I don't think you are ready to be married, because you don't love the other person enough to have "bounce back".

lol ok but again this has nothing to do with you or me. I can only 100% be sure that I can control my own choices and actions. She can flip out and leave whenever she wants....thats what the pre-nup is for.

Maybe you don't think so...and I'm not going to force my thoughts on you...have a pre nup if you want.

I just think that you should know your partner better than that after the courting period to be able to make a decision to marry or not that requires no pre nup.

Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly, and implements that make divorce easier aren't very helpful to that ends.

change is the only constant in the universe and it doesn't exclude people.

 

[holden j caufield]

As a guy I see how it makes sense but to a girl it probably seems like you've got doubts already. Bad start if the roles were reversed I have no problems signing one.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige
No way...if you aren't sure enough to trust your spouse completely you shouldn't be married.

statistically only what 30% of ppl should marry then ? lol

and this has nothing to do with trust. ITs about covering your ass in the event she goes ntus. Unless your a fortune teller nobody can tell if or when that will happen.

At least half the marriages in this country probably shouldn't happen, or people should at least wait longer to know they are with the one they want to be with for the rest of their lives.

Honestly, this topic is endemic of the systematic decline of quality unions. You shouldn't marry for lust, passion, looks or money. All those things should be present but should not be driving factors. You should marry someone because you LOVE them and you can live with them for the rest of your life, tolerating the bad and embracing the good.

If you don't think you could survive a year of the worst day you've ever had with someone to make it work, I don't think you are ready to be married, because you don't love the other person enough to have "bounce back".

lol ok but again this has nothing to do with you or me. I can only 100% be sure that I can control my own choices and actions. She can flip out and leave whenever she wants....thats what the pre-nup is for.

Maybe you don't think so...and I'm not going to force my thoughts on you...have a pre nup if you want.

I just think that you should know your partner better than that after the courting period to be able to make a decision to marry or not that requires no pre nup.

Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly, and implements that make divorce easier aren't very helpful to that ends.

Since you can so confidently and accurately predict the future behaviors of your partner you should probably start a consulting firm to help others do the same.

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: TruePaige
No way...if you aren't sure enough to trust your spouse completely you shouldn't be married.

statistically only what 30% of ppl should marry then ? lol

and this has nothing to do with trust. ITs about covering your ass in the event she goes ntus. Unless your a fortune teller nobody can tell if or when that will happen.

At least half the marriages in this country probably shouldn't happen, or people should at least wait longer to know they are with the one they want to be with for the rest of their lives.

Honestly, this topic is endemic of the systematic decline of quality unions. You shouldn't marry for lust, passion, looks or money. All those things should be present but should not be driving factors. You should marry someone because you LOVE them and you can live with them for the rest of your life, tolerating the bad and embracing the good.

If you don't think you could survive a year of the worst day you've ever had with someone to make it work, I don't think you are ready to be married, because you don't love the other person enough to have "bounce back".

lol ok but again this has nothing to do with you or me. I can only 100% be sure that I can control my own choices and actions. She can flip out and leave whenever she wants....thats what the pre-nup is for.

Maybe you don't think so...and I'm not going to force my thoughts on you...have a pre nup if you want.

I just think that you should know your partner better than that after the courting period to be able to make a decision to marry or not that requires no pre nup.

Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly, and implements that make divorce easier aren't very helpful to that ends.

change is the only constant in the universe and it doesn't exclude people.

Change != divorce or spouse going crazy. It is perfectly possible for two people to remain happily married for life, while changing.