You ever feel like you're not sure what your body is SUPPOSED to look like?

[phucheneh]

I posted last month about lifting as a beginner. I've been at it for maybe two months now and have seen tremendous increases in all areas.

My general thought was- Okay, for my physical size, my strength is pathetic. I need to get these weeny muscles a bit more developed, and once I can see a more athletic physique start to emerge, maybe THEN I'll think about weight loss.

Well, I found out that working out a lot had the unfortunate effect of me developing a better idea what my body SHOULD look like (which, in turn, makes me want to shed fat NOW).

For example, I've always thought of a 36" waist as being fairly average...little on the heavy side, maybe, but far from what you would expect an obese person to be wearing. But then I start to see my upper body shaping up a bit, and it dawns on me: if I want to get rid of the hourglass shape...you know, trim off the 'love handles' and actually make my waist look like it's in proper proportion to my shoulders...shit, I think I should be shooting for 32" jeans or thereabouts.

It's just an odd thing to notice...like, hell, all these years, I never realized...I wasn't 'average.' I was an obese guy on a skinny guy's frame.:'(

I'm gonna take some pics and try and muster the courage to share them, if anyone would be willing to give their opinion on what seems realistic for me. I'm afraid I'm actually developing a bit of body dysmorphia; luckily, I'm certain I don't have the willpower to be anorexic or anything...

 

[HN]

 

[Riparian]

You're definitely going to be your own biggest critic. Looks like you have an ideal aesthetic that you want to achieve, so at least you have a good goal to work towards. This site has a pretty cool filter of Reddit /progresspics posts where it shows people's transformations within a set criteria (you can adjust sex, height, and weight). It'll give you a nice idea of what others have dealt with with regards to body shape. Here's the link and good luck to you:

http://whatwillilooklike.com/

 

[phucheneh]

That's the thing- everybody is different. The look that one person can obtain is not always realistic for others, IMO.

For reference, I'm 6'3 and at about 205lbs right now. I am exceptionally long in the torso and arms (36/37 sleeves on dress shirts). Here's me today:

http://imgur.com/a/WayMQ

The above pic is actually a really good comparison for what I feel like is 'normal;' straight lines down the sides and down the front of the stomach.

Whereas I've got not only the obvious paunch, but also the weird sucked-in areas at the bottom of my ribcage. It's basically like: My shoulders and upper chest are developing nicely, and a lack of fat in those areas makes progress easy for me to see. But then I've still got the man-boob-fat hanging off the lower chest...then it gets lean again...I can make out my bottom ribs, and the very top ab muscles are trying desperately to escape the fat...then BLAH, massive fat accumulation below that.

I'm wondering how much thinner my waist can really get, though. My abs have always been some of my most developed muscles (referring to size/strength only; never been visible or anything), and they've been continuing to grow...a stiff poke to my belly reveals that there's only about a half-inch of squishy before you hit something hard. There's even less fat covering my hip bones on my sides...

...is my issue maybe just a lack of oblique development? Should I be focusing on filling the low spot instead of worrying about trimming the peaks? Heh.

 

[phucheneh]

You're definitely going to be your own biggest critic. Looks like you have an ideal aesthetic that you want to achieve, so at least you have a good goal to work towards. This site has a pretty cool filter of Reddit /progresspics posts where it shows people's transformations within a set criteria (you can adjust sex, height, and weight). It'll give you a nice idea of what others have dealt with with regards to body shape. Here's the link and good luck to you:

http://whatwillilooklike.com/

Cool site, thanks.

It's hard to find anyone that really fits my situation...most around my height are starting at a lot more weight.

But it seems to reinforce my suspicion- with a shirt on, people just don't quite understand how fat I am/was (am still fat; was fatter). They look at my overall size, hear than I weigh 200lbs, and think that I'm crazy for thinking I can/should drop 20lbs or more. But the pics I'm seeing of other lanky fellas seem to agree- in a more overall 'athletic' form, I should probably weigh more like 175. Some of those dudes have WAY more muscle than me and are still under 200.

 

[Koing]

It's all relative.

When people wear clothes it's very hard/ impossible to see how someone really looks.

Sort your diet out, keep training and you will get to where you are. It's a reasonable/ long grind to get to where you want to be.

I'd say if you dedicate yourself in 1-2yrs you can achieve really good results. You may not be as big as you want but you can sure as hell get to as lean as you want in most cases IMO.

Keep your goals focused and MAKE SURE THE DIET IS GOOD and keep training 2-3x a week or being active.

I would advise you to cut down to about 185 or 180 first and then slowly bulk back up. The cutting stage will be pretty much all down to your diet. The training for you as a beginner you can probably build some muscle mass but that isn't the goal. The goal is to get rid of as much fat as you can to drop down to 180-185lbs.

Keep it up!

Koing

 

[inachu]

leaning over to make a six pack is pure fail. Even Arnold S. would laugh at that picture.

 

[mizzou]

That's the thing- everybody is different. The look that one person can obtain is not always realistic for others, IMO.

For reference, I'm 6'3 and at about 205lbs right now. I am exceptionally long in the torso and arms (36/37 sleeves on dress shirts). Here's me today:

http://imgur.com/a/WayMQ

The above pic is actually a really good comparison for what I feel like is 'normal;' straight lines down the sides and down the front of the stomach.

Whereas I've got not only the obvious paunch, but also the weird sucked-in areas at the bottom of my ribcage. It's basically like: My shoulders and upper chest are developing nicely, and a lack of fat in those areas makes progress easy for me to see. But then I've still got the man-boob-fat hanging off the lower chest...then it gets lean again...I can make out my bottom ribs, and the very top ab muscles are trying desperately to escape the fat...then BLAH, massive fat accumulation below that.

I'm wondering how much thinner my waist can really get, though. My abs have always been some of my most developed muscles (referring to size/strength only; never been visible or anything), and they've been continuing to grow...a stiff poke to my belly reveals that there's only about a half-inch of squishy before you hit something hard. There's even less fat covering my hip bones on my sides...

...is my issue maybe just a lack of oblique development? Should I be focusing on filling the low spot instead of worrying about trimming the peaks? Heh.

You can't pick and choose your genetics. Your body develops and holds fat in certain areas, for no other reason then the way your DNA was created.

You are 6'3 and 205lbs. That's pretty thin honestly, and you are clearly not overweight/obese.

Even when I was at my lowest weight of around 165, I still had a fat pouch on my stomach. I know that I would have to be so overly committed to losing bodyfat that it would be mind-numbing. So what do I do? I just don't care. I'm not going to have a six-pack, ever, and I don't care. You don't need a sick pack to look powerful, strong, or athletic.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives and appreciate the gains.

 

[Zivic]

You can't pick and choose your genetics. Your body develops and holds fat in certain areas, for no other reason then the way your DNA was created.

You are 6'3 and 205lbs. That's pretty thin honestly, and you are clearly not overweight/obese.

Even when I was at my lowest weight of around 165, I still had a fat pouch on my stomach. I know that I would have to be so overly committed to losing bodyfat that it would be mind-numbing. So what do I do? I just don't care. I'm not going to have a six-pack, ever, and I don't care. You don't need a sick pack to look powerful, strong, or athletic.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives and appreciate the gains.

if you look at the numbers, it doesn't seem like he would be overweight/fat (at least not too much)... but seeing pics, he definitely is. He is holding a fair amount of fat regardless of what the numbers are.

I'm 5'8" and ~205 lbs, so am I overweight/fat/obese? The scale doesn't tell the whole the story, which is why you need to look at your composition along with what the scale says.

If you did care, and did what it took, you would have a six-pack. You just chose to "say you don't care, I won't ever have one" rather than say, heck yeah, I can look anyway I want (obviously within reason)

People use cop outs and talk themselves out of things because they aren't willing to do what it takes to achieve them. that's fine and all, but don't say I won't ever have one.... say I am not willing to do what it takes to have one.

 

[deadken]

...
People use cop outs and talk themselves out of things because they aren't willing to do what it takes to achieve them. that's fine and all, but don't say I won't ever have one.... say I am not willing to do what it takes to have one.

Or, he can just say: I'm not going to have a six-pack, ever, and I don't care. Mostly because I don't care to put in all of the effort required.

Hey OP, I think that it is really hard to figure out what you / your body is 'supposed' to look like. Obviously, there are tons of people out there that make a living suggesting what you should look like. And, there are even more making a living 'helping' you achieve what the other guy suggested you should look like. I used to think that having a distorted self-image of ones own body was something that was prevalent amongst teenagers (perhaps even more so amongst teenage girls). At this point in my life I'm realizing just how many people are totally distorting how they really look. Please don't think that I believe myself immune. At age 46 I was around 185lbs (5' 11") and I thought that my 35"/36" waist was 'normal'. Perhaps it was average (maybe even better than average), but I really don't think it was how I was meant to look. By comparison, now that I'm down around 160lbs (age 48) I feel that my chest looks small. It took me a while to realize that I couldn't have lost 8" off of my waist without losing at least a few inches off my chest. But, that still doesn't make me feel 'normal'.

All I can say is that I'm typically happy with how I look and feel. I'm likely in some of the best shape of my life. I just finished my first marathon last month (I also ran a little bit more than 26.2 during my training), and I'm now focusing on my biking (I've signed up for a 100 mile race in May). I feel great even when I'm wiped out from an event. Endorphins are really, really powerful!

IOW: stop worrying about how you think you should look and whenever you can please start being happy with how you do look. I'm honestly impressed by those people who can be comfortable in their own skin. I find that no matter what anyone else thinks about how you look, once you are comfortable / happy with how you look it just doesn't matter what anyone else thinks you should look like.

 

[mizzou]

dont assume you cant get a sixpack from lack of trying. Thats akin to saying girls who cant acheive a thigh-gap, not because of genetics, but because they arent making enough effort.

For whatever reason, my stomach is the last alamo of fat storage on my body. To get that low would be very unhealthy. I can increase the size of the muscles behind it and look relatively strong, but ill never look "cut".

I just say be happy with what you got and celebrate the things you appreciate

 

[Zivic]

dont assume you cant get a sixpack from lack of trying. Thats akin to saying girls who cant acheive a thigh-gap, not because of genetics, but because they arent making enough effort.

For whatever reason, my stomach is the last alamo of fat storage on my body. To get that low would be very unhealthy. I can increase the size of the muscles behind it and look relatively strong, but ill never look "cut".

I just say be happy with what you got and celebrate the things you appreciate

Anyone can look cut.... I doubt you have 'really' tried to. Further, I doubt it would be "very unhealthy"

what's unhealthy is society's acceptance of fat. You think back to the 70/80's; 200+ lbs was BIG. if you were a non athlete and topped 200, you were FAT. Now days, it seems we have adopted 300 lbs as that big/fat threshold. I hit almost 270 at one point; @ 5'8" to boot... I was fat, but when I looked around at others, I never was the fattest guy in the room. I thought like everyone else; I thought it would be too much work, and that it was darn near impossible to get the body that I wanted. Guess what, it was a lot of work, but was far from impossible with proper diet, and is plenty achievable for the VAST majority of people. Too bad they are too lazy to do it

 

[deadken]

Have any of you ever seen 'David' by Michelangelo? I think he has a pretty great physique. I'm NOT getting into a discussion about the size of his manhood. But, instead, I'd like to offer a possibility that Michelangelo based David off of a perception of how a man ideally should look like. Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps in those days without an abundance of food (or cheap food) people had a thinner physique? I could imagine a time without plentiful cheap food and an abundance of labor saving devices that the general population might have a much thinner more physically fit appearance. Who knows?

 

[Zivic]

Have any of you ever seen 'David' by Michelangelo? I think he has a pretty great physique. I'm NOT getting into a discussion about the size of his manhood. But, instead, I'd like to offer a possibility that Michelangelo based David off of a perception of how a man ideally should look like. Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps in those days without an abundance of food (or cheap food) people had a thinner physique? I could imagine a time without plentiful cheap food and an abundance of labor saving devices that the general population might have a much thinner more physically fit appearance. Who knows?

I would guess there were people that looked that way back then... quite a few actually. People were much more physical in those days and I could see a build like that being easily achievable without any training -> given they had a physical job. now days you could find plenty of highschool/college age/early twenties with a build like that with little to no time in the gym -... basically all genetic.

IMO, that is what a semi active person, that has control over their diet would look like. They aren't overly lean to suggest they have done a ton of cardio work, or crazy strict diet.... nor are they overly muscular which would indicate a substantial caloric intake and weight training. A build like that is a baseline athletic build by my standards, but hey, I'm out where the air is rare.

 

[slashbinslashbash]

Yeah you've got a ways to go. I'm mostly in the same boat. I'm 6'1" and within the past 3 months have dropped from ~225 to ~195, mostly from diet but also adding some exercise (along with a bout of sickness that really helped with maybe 1/3rd of that loss). I still have a paunch / spare tire that goes around my waist, but I have lost almost all the fat in my face/neck, legs and butt. If I "suck it in" I look pretty damn good. But standing normally, no, I can poke/feel a good 1/2" to 1" of fat around my midsection and there's a visible spare tire. I thought that the 190 area would be a good target weight, but now I'm setting my sights more in the 175 range. (Again this is with no lifting or trying to grow muscle.)

I have been wearing 34" jeans for many years, but they are substantially too big now; I feel that 32" would fit well. My everyday belt could be tightened another 2 notches, if they existed.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Hey OP - forget what people think is "normal." Being able to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself is where its at, at least IMO. Remember the whole point of why you started. I doubt it was to become obsessed with your body. It was probably more along the lines of you wanted to be healthier and look better. Accomplish that and be happy. Strive for more if you want. But don't beat yourself up over it.

FWIW - Like you I recently started taking fitness seriously. I've lost a little over 30lbs (6' 3" - 218# now, was 250#) doing crossfit and olympic lifting and I cannot believe the difference. I would like to get down to 195# if I can, but I'm not sure it is possible as I have not been under 200lbs since my freshman year of high school (some 22 years ago).

Good luck!

 

[slashbinslashbash]

Yes, "normal" doesn't exist, you have to pick a goal for what you want your body to look like. I'm sure you're already looking a lot better naked and in street clothes. Any further progress beyond this point won't do much to make you look better in street clothes, but it will make you look a lot better naked / in swimsuit / in revealing clothes.

Google "body fat percentage images men" and look at what you think looks good / healthy. I am targeting ~15% body fat. I am positive that I am already less than 20% body fat, which is probably around where I was a few months ago. In my opinion the "look" that you're going for is a better goal than the weight, since your weight can be hugely impacted by how much muscle you have.

I just found this image:

I am targeting the 2B-3B range ("lesser ottermode" to "semi-athletic"). I probably fall closer to a 2C-3C (between "chubby" and "builtfat") right now.

 

[z1ggy]

Let me just say this though- you may set out to just look "decent" but if you really become entrenched in fitness... You'll never stop. You'll want to be more muscular, you'll want to be leaner.. Stronger. Hell, if you DO actually say "This is good enough" then something is very wrong.

Obviously one needs to be realistic... But mentally "stopping" the quest to the best you'll ever be, shouldn't end.

 

[Zivic]

I'm working my way down column 4... Im Somewhere between C-B

 

[Zivic]

Let me just say this though- you may set out to just look "decent" but if you really become entrenched in fitness... You'll never stop. You'll want to be more muscular, you'll want to be leaner.. Stronger. Hell, if you DO actually say "This is good enough" then something is very wrong.

Obviously one needs to be realistic... But mentally "stopping" the quest to the best you'll ever be, shouldn't end.

This is so true... When you start you have an end goal. Once you get going down the road you realize its a lifelong commitment

 

[slashbinslashbash]

Let me just say this though- you may set out to just look "decent" but if you really become entrenched in fitness... You'll never stop. You'll want to be more muscular, you'll want to be leaner.. Stronger. Hell, if you DO actually say "This is good enough" then something is very wrong.

Obviously one needs to be realistic... But mentally "stopping" the quest to the best you'll ever be, shouldn't end.

Eh, I don't know. Everything needs balance in life, and at some point along the curve, incremental gains start to require exponential time commitments. I have goals in my family and financial and work lives that also require a certain amount of time.

I don't aim to be "the best I'll ever be" in everything, but if I can hit a high degree of "comfort" and "this is where I want to be" then I will stop putting forth as much effort. Like if/when I hit the point where I have several $million invested in real estate and other investments, and it's throwing off an income of $100k/yr then I will stop putting so much time and effort into my day job and start taking more time off to do stuff that I enjoy like traveling and skiing and golfing. Stop trying to get more; just maintain what I have and be happy with it. Similarly, if/when I reach the 2B/3B level then I will stop putting as much time and effort into my fitness and go into maintenance mode.

Then again, some people do get addicted to the game and stay driven for every last dollar until their dying day. Some people do the same with fitness. I am pretty sure I am not one of those people, but until I get there, I guess I won't know.

 

[z1ggy]

Eh, I don't know. Everything needs balance in life, and at some point along the curve, incremental gains start to require exponential time commitments. I have goals in my family and financial and work lives that also require a certain amount of time.

I don't aim to be "the best I'll ever be" in everything, but if I can hit a high degree of "comfort" and "this is where I want to be" then I will stop putting forth as much effort.

Complacency breeds failure. When you feel as if just "good enough" cuts it, that's when the tables turn in life. It's a mindset I refuse to partake in - but if you can, and it works, then all the power to you.

 

[Zivic]

Eh, I don't know. Everything needs balance in life, and at some point along the curve, incremental gains start to require exponential time commitments. I have goals in my family and financial and work lives that also require a certain amount of time.

I don't aim to be "the best I'll ever be" in everything, but if I can hit a high degree of "comfort" and "this is where I want to be" then I will stop putting forth as much effort. Like if/when I hit the point where I have several $million invested in real estate and other investments, and it's throwing off an income of $100k/yr then I will stop putting so much time and effort into my day job and start taking more time off to do stuff that I enjoy like traveling and skiing and golfing. Stop trying to get more; just maintain what I have and be happy with it. Similarly, if/when I reach the 2B/3B level then I will stop putting as much time and effort into my fitness and go into maintenance mode.

Then again, some people do get addicted to the game and stay driven for every last dollar until their dying day. Some people do the same with fitness. I am pretty sure I am not one of those people, but until I get there, I guess I won't know.

it isn't necessarily about "being the best I'll ever be"... more so that you constantly strive to get better than you were yesterday

 

[Koing]

Complacency breeds failure. When you feel as if just "good enough" cuts it, that's when the tables turn in life. It's a mindset I refuse to partake in - but if you can, and it works, then all the power to you.

After 16yrs I'm feeling more complacent. I'll always have the drive to train and compete but it's less important for me now a days. I'm focusing more on my career at the moment.

OP focus on being happy with yourself.

Put down a good 4-6 weeks of good eating and training and you can make a reasonable difference.

There is no I can't get a 6 pack. There is only you didn't eat clean this day or blew up a bit. If a person eats clean for 4-6 weeks they should definitely be able to lose at least 2-3kg easily. It's the will power and self control to do it. Very few people actually have medical conditions that prevents them losing weight.

People just eat too much coupled with not great metabolisms.

OP cheer up and tidy your eating

Koing

 

[Koing]

Hey OP - forget what people think is "normal." Being able to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself is where its at, at least IMO. Remember the whole point of why you started. I doubt it was to become obsessed with your body. It was probably more along the lines of you wanted to be healthier and look better. Accomplish that and be happy. Strive for more if you want. But don't beat yourself up over it.

FWIW - Like you I recently started taking fitness seriously. I've lost a little over 30lbs (6' 3" - 218# now, was 250#) doing crossfit and olympic lifting and I cannot believe the difference. I would like to get down to 195# if I can, but I'm not sure it is possible as I have not been under 200lbs since my freshman year of high school (some 22 years ago).

Good luck!

In 2013 in my cut I weighed 83.3kg. I hadn't weighed that low since 2007!

Koing