You guys have been a great resource of diversified opinions the last week. Another situation. Friend getting married.

[xirtam]

Originally posted by: gopunk
i believe he should get rid of them

before you all flame me, hear me out... would you want your wife keeping pictures of naked men around your house? i sure as hell wouldn't...

I agree.

 

[Electric Amish]

Tell her that if she were a decent wife she'd buy him a lifetime subscription to Playboy

Exactly. That's what my wife did. Not a lifetime, but I had Playboy for awhile, along with Penthouse, Penthouse Letters, Penthouse Forum, and the Playboy channel.


Personally, I think they shouldn't marry and if they do, it will end soon or, depending on his demeanor, it will last a long time and he will just continue to be miserable.

amish

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Personally, I'd want to be with a woman who wasn't so insecure about herself. She sounds like the type who in public will be constantly harping on him, accusing him of checking out the hotties.

I was in a relationship JUST like that.

She wouldn't let me watch any movies with nekedness in them, and blew a gasket if I glanced at another woman.

She convinced me that NO woman would want a guy like that!

11 years later, and I still feel the effects of her nit picking.

I see trouble on the horizon if she is as bad as my ex....

 

[dquan97]

I would ditch the mags...they're airbrushed anyway. Once honeymoon is over, he'd be like "Playboy what?"

 

[purepolly]

was in a relationship JUST like that.

She wouldn't let me watch any movies with nekedness in them, and blew a gasket if I glanced at another woman.

She convinced me that NO woman would want a guy like that!

11 years later, and I still feel the effects of her nit picking.

I see trouble on the horizon if she is as bad as my ex....

Yea, I was in a relationship like that too.

He had a collection of of 100 pornos that he use to leave hanging around the house - didn't care if the kids accidently put them in the VCR - hell it was funny that preschoolers got to see pron. Don't you see the humor in that?

Or that he would spend almost every evening from 10pm-3am surfing the on-line porn sites. And every waking hour bitching that he wasn't getting any to friends. Or making sexual passes to his female coworkers, or compulsively masturbating.

Jep, I was just a prude to him. I even believed it for a while.

Then he went into therapy. Turns out I wasn't a prude, he was just a closet pervert. Diagnosed sex addict.

There are two sides to each coin.









Or

 

It's a collection that could be very valuable some day if he keeps it in perfect conditon like you say.

I'm sure he doesn't jack off with them if they're preserved so well. Some people collect baseball cards, this guy collects Playboys. He shouldn't lose this battle.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: jumpr
It's a collection that could be very valuable some day if he keeps it in perfect conditon like you say.

I'm sure he doesn't jack off with them if they're preserved so well. Some people collect baseball cards, this guy collects Playboys. He shouldn't lose this battle.

i think the question was whether or not the subscription continues. would you be okay with your wife actively collecting pictures of naked guys?

 

[purepolly]

She has made her feelings known about the magazines. The question now is what does he value more - her feelings, or his need for the magazines.

It's really quite that simple.

 

[Electric Amish]

i think the question was whether or not the subscription continues. would you be okay with your wife actively collecting pictures of naked guys?

I've told my wife several times that if she felt that she wanted a subscription to any skin mag, I'd be fine with that.

She has made her feelings known about the magazines. The question now is what does he value more - her feelings, or his need for the magazines.

It's really quite that simple.

I would never want to be with someone that will only love me if I change.

Marriage is about acceptance, not dominance and manipulation.

amish

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: purepolly
She has made her feelings known about the magazines. The question now is what does he value more - her feelings, or his need for the magazines.

It's really quite that simple.

Quite true. Ssadly, i think however, some men would choose the mags to the woman:brokenheart:

 

[purepolly]

Marriage is about acceptance, not dominance and manipulation.

Absolutely! It's great this issue came up prior to the wedding - there are obviously very differing viewpoints for this couple ...

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

i think the question was whether or not the subscription continues. would you be okay with your wife actively collecting pictures of naked guys?

I've told my wife several times that if she felt that she wanted a subscription to any skin mag, I'd be fine with that.

She has made her feelings known about the magazines. The question now is what does he value more - her feelings, or his need for the magazines.

It's really quite that simple.

I would never want to be with someone that will only love me if I change.

Marriage is about acceptance, not dominance and manipulation.

amish

I agree completely. How can you expect to have a good relationship when she places demands on things as silly as a subscription to Playboy.

I've had a subscription for five years now. My girlfriend (now wife) picked one up one day way back when and has been reading them ever since. If she wanted to get a subscription to whatever naked male skin mag then that would be her business. I trust her enough to not worry about the chance that she's gonna run off with some centerfold and vice versa.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

i think the question was whether or not the subscription continues. would you be okay with your wife actively collecting pictures of naked guys?

I've told my wife several times that if she felt that she wanted a subscription to any skin mag, I'd be fine with that.

well, in that case, i think it only fair that you be allowed to have the mags....

but personally, and i think this is true for many guys, i abhor the thought of a bunch of pictrues of naked guys sitting around my house.

 

[gopunk]

I trust her enough to not worry about the chance that she's gonna run off with some centerfold and vice versa.

i don't think anybody is worried about that. but dont' you thikn it is disgusting to have pictures of naked men sitting around your house? jesus christ, it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: gopunk

I trust her enough to not worry about the chance that she's gonna run off with some centerfold and vice versa.

i don't think anybody is worried about that. but dont' you thikn it is disgusting to have pictures of naked men sitting around your house? jesus christ, it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Well, I don't leave my Playboys just lying around the house, so I would expect her to not leave her mags lying around. And it's not like I would be flipping through them to view the centerfold. Hell, they might even have some good articles. I certainly have learned a lot from Playboy.

And the cartoons are hilarious.

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: purepolly
was in a relationship JUST like that.

She wouldn't let me watch any movies with nekedness in them, and blew a gasket if I glanced at another woman.

She convinced me that NO woman would want a guy like that!

11 years later, and I still feel the effects of her nit picking.

I see trouble on the horizon if she is as bad as my ex....

Yea, I was in a relationship like that too.

He had a collection of of 100 pornos that he use to leave hanging around the house - didn't care if the kids accidently put them in the VCR - hell it was funny that preschoolers got to see pron. Don't you see the humor in that?

Or that he would spend almost every evening from 10pm-3am surfing the on-line porn sites. And every waking hour bitching that he wasn't getting any to friends. Or making sexual passes to his female coworkers, or compulsively masturbating.

Jep, I was just a prude to him. I even believed it for a while.

Then he went into therapy. Turns out I wasn't a prude, he was just a closet pervert. Diagnosed sex addict.

There are two sides to each coin.









Or

Your right there are two sides.

I wasn't talking PORN, I was talking ANY movie with ANY sex or nudity.

I have NO mag. collection.

I have NO porn videos.

I don't frequent strip clubs.

And she admitted that she KNEW I would never cheat on her.

She had poor self image and my looking at other women made it worse.

I understood that about her, though I don't know if SHE understood it about herself. I loved her anyway. We broke up and her judgment of ME effects me to this day. 11 years later. I have had no women friends since her because she damaged MY self image because of her low esteem. Funny how that works huh?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: purepolly
was in a relationship JUST like that.

She wouldn't let me watch any movies with nekedness in them, and blew a gasket if I glanced at another woman.

She convinced me that NO woman would want a guy like that!

11 years later, and I still feel the effects of her nit picking.

I see trouble on the horizon if she is as bad as my ex....

Yea, I was in a relationship like that too.

He had a collection of of 100 pornos that he use to leave hanging around the house - didn't care if the kids accidently put them in the VCR - hell it was funny that preschoolers got to see pron. Don't you see the humor in that?

Or that he would spend almost every evening from 10pm-3am surfing the on-line porn sites. And every waking hour bitching that he wasn't getting any to friends. Or making sexual passes to his female coworkers, or compulsively masturbating.

Jep, I was just a prude to him. I even believed it for a while.

Then he went into therapy. Turns out I wasn't a prude, he was just a closet pervert. Diagnosed sex addict.

There are two sides to each coin.









Or

That sucks but what are you going to do,treat every other dude you come across as if they were the jerk who hurt you?

The only one who gets hurt then is you...

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: gopunk

I trust her enough to not worry about the chance that she's gonna run off with some centerfold and vice versa.

i don't think anybody is worried about that. but dont' you thikn it is disgusting to have pictures of naked men sitting around your house? jesus christ, it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Well, I don't leave my Playboys just lying around the house, so I would expect her to not leave her mags lying around. And it's not like I would be flipping through them to view the centerfold. Hell, they might even have some good articles. I certainly have learned a lot from Playboy.

And the cartoons are hilarious.

oh ok, i thought these were just lying around the house.

in any event, the question to ask the friend is, would you let your wife do the same? if yes, then somebody will have to compromise, or they break up. otherwise, he should get rid of them.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: gopunk

I trust her enough to not worry about the chance that she's gonna run off with some centerfold and vice versa.

i don't think anybody is worried about that. but dont' you thikn it is disgusting to have pictures of naked men sitting around your house? jesus christ, it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Well, I don't leave my Playboys just lying around the house, so I would expect her to not leave her mags lying around. And it's not like I would be flipping through them to view the centerfold. Hell, they might even have some good articles. I certainly have learned a lot from Playboy.

And the cartoons are hilarious.

oh ok, i thought these were just lying around the house.

Well, they used to be. But then we got married and I had to clean myself up a little. You know, become respectable and all.

 

[AmerDoux]

"My friends have all told him that it's BS since Playboy is no big deal. It's not like barely legal or some other crapola.
He's going to cancel with sorrow heart.
I told him that's a battle he shouldn't lose, since he's probably going to have to cater to all her whims.
What do you think?"


She was asking her future husband to respect her. You boys turned this into a win or lose battle.

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: RalphKramden
And he has a subscription to Playboy for the last 7 years. Every issue has been kept immaculate and he treasures them. His future wife has summarily forbidden him to continue the subscription when they move in together after the wedding. They will be wed in August. My friends have all told him that it's BS since Playboy is no big deal. It's not like barely legal or some other crapola. He's going to cancel with sorrow heart. I told him that's a battle he shouldn't lose, since he's probably going to have to cater to all her whims. What do you think?

Box them up and ship them to me......I will PM you my addy :beer:


Ausm

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: AmerDoux
"My friends have all told him that it's BS since Playboy is no big deal. It's not like barely legal or some other crapola.
He's going to cancel with sorrow heart.
I told him that's a battle he shouldn't lose, since he's probably going to have to cater to all her whims.
What do you think?"


She was asking her future husband to respect her. You boys turned this into a win or lose battle.

wth? you turned this into something about respect... this is just an issue of whether the magazines stay or go...

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: AmerDoux
"My friends have all told him that it's BS since Playboy is no big deal. It's not like barely legal or some other crapola.
He's going to cancel with sorrow heart.
I told him that's a battle he shouldn't lose, since he's probably going to have to cater to all her whims.
What do you think?"


She was asking her future husband to respect her. You boys turned this into a win or lose battle.

The problem is she wouldn't even compromise. She demanded that the Playboys have to go. I don't take well to demands.

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: AmerDoux
"My friends have all told him that it's BS since Playboy is no big deal. It's not like barely legal or some other crapola.
He's going to cancel with sorrow heart.
I told him that's a battle he shouldn't lose, since he's probably going to have to cater to all her whims.
What do you think?"


She was asking her future husband to respect her. You boys turned this into a win or lose battle.

It's not a "win or lose" battle. There should be NO BATTLE when marriage is concerned. They obviously are mis-matched and shouldn't be wedded in the first place.

Nothing good can come of this.

amish

 

[purepolly]

'I agree completely. How can you expect to have a good relationship when she places demands on things as silly as a subscription to Playboy."

To you it might be a silly thing. To her it is not.

When I first met the ex, I would have agreed with you. I didn't care either way if he had porn. But in retrospect, his reaction to porn should have been a huge red flag for me. It was just one of many ways to get his fix.

What matters is in a relationship is compatibility. I think the girl is pretty cool because she is being upfront about what she needs and expects in the relationship. Whether or not you think it is silly is irrelevant.