You know you're playing a computer game when...

[StinkyPinky]

1 - Exploding barrels are just lying around, and enemies use them for cover. These barrels are so explosive that a single bullet can set them off. Clearly there is no worker safety in PC Game world.

2 - You can carry an RPG, shotgun, sniper rifle, three asault rifles, a couple of pistols, 20 grenades, a portable nuke, and a crowbar without breaking a sweat.

3 -You can slay dragons with a butter knife, but jumping over a foot high fence is beyond you.

4 - Three rounds of 9mm are usually stored in a massive wooden crate. Plastic crates do not exist.

5 - Armies consistis of clones.

6 - Males outnumber females by 50 to 1.

7 - Children do not exist.

 

[DangerAardvark]

You know you're playing a computer game when...

1)you click the shortcut on your desktop.
2)If you forget, the 5 splash screens before the starting menu will remind you.

 

[IronWing]

The female character that just got blown to bits by a rocket retains perky breasts in death.

 

[brxndxn]

Arbitrary boundaries separate you from where you are attempting to go.. but don't worry.. there's always a tunnel that will get you there. If you try to go a different way, you will be stopped by a force field in mid air.

 

[Maximilian]

It crashes and you end up back at the windows desktop.

 

[Dumac]

You have to connect to the internet in order to install the game.

 

[TridenT]

When you get hit by a ton of bullets and your outer vision is flashing red.

 

[thecrecarc]

Despite driving a huge 100 ton tank, you get stopped in the tracks by a bush, lamp post, or small tree.

 

[Molondo]

You start the game and the game insists you are using a burnt copy of the game.

 

[slugg]

You're seconds away from setting a world record... and then the Windows Update nag screen comes up and minimizes your game.

 

[Zenoth]

You don't sleep to play.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

These jokes lack subtlety.

 

[Extelleron]

you have to install several hundred megabytes of driver updates, game patches, and DX updates in order for the game to work.

 

[foghorn67]

You can jump 10 ft. in the air, but can't sprint more than 15 ft.

 

[Fenixgoon]

despite having a super-advanced piece of armor, the enemy can take more bullets than you can wearing what appears to be kevlar, if anything at all.

 

[brblx]

this thread fails in the humorous observations category in the way a 'you know you're washing the dishes when...' thread would.

e.g. 'you might be a redneck if you have a southern accent and live in the woods' isn't exactly comedy gold, because it's just stating something true. whereas an actual 'you might be a redneck' joke...well, isn't funny either. but at least it fits a loose definition of comedy.

but anyway, legitimate contribution part- [thread title] you pay a hooker for sex, then murder her and take your money back. most of the time.

 

[EnzoLT]

when you have to empty a whole clip on these africans (who are wearing nothing but a tank top) just to kill them.

 

[DangerAardvark]

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer
These jokes lack subtlety.

You know you're playing a computer game when you're sitting at your computer and controlling your character on your screen with your mouse and keyboard.

 

[Kromis]

When you can magically replenish the ammunition in your magazine