You might be a liberal if...

[TastesLikeChicken]

By: Michael Bauman,
Ever since Michael Dukakis suffered a terrible drubbing at the polls for flashing his ACLU card in public and for identifying himself as a liberal without embarrassment, the dreaded ?L? word has fallen into wide disfavor, even disrepute. Some liberal politicians, like Bill Clinton, don?t like to use it all. Nevertheless, it?s still possible to know who?s a liberal and who is not.

You might be a liberal if . . .

You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.

You named your children Moonglow and Arizona.

You think the really alarming violence takes place outside the abortion clinic.

You?ve ever referred to the ?root cause? of something.

You pray to ?The Woman Upstairs.?

You think we never gave peace a chance.

You had to be told that ?Manhattan,? ?menopause? and ?boycott? were not sexist words

You begin sentences with the words ?I feel.?

Your driver?s license has a hyphen because for you one last name just isn?t enough.

You don?t think ?All in the Family? is a very funny program, but watch it anyway because Meathead makes a lot of sense.

You think OJ is out looking for the real killers.

You think Julia Sugarbaker is an astute social commentator.

You think it takes a village.

You think that the words ?to promote the general welfare? in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.

You think that, even though more people voted against him than for him in both the 1992 and the 1996 presidential elections, Bill Clinton had a mandate.

You think that conservatives, like preservatives, ought to be federally regulated.

You ever wore earth shoes.

You have ever wondered out loud, ?Why can?t we all just get along??

You think the New York Times prints all the news that?s fit.

You think that Rush Limbaugh is just an entertainer.

You spent Columbus Day reading Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

You reach the limits of your talent and then complain that you ran into a glass ceiling.

You wear more ribbons on your lapel than in your hair.

You think that the really dangerous McCarthy was Joe, not Eugene.

You blame the Unabomber?s parents.

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand.

 

[Steeplerot]

Oh yeah I remember that one, damn to lazy to even change a few lines.


You Might Be A Republican If...

* You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
* You've named your kids "Deduction One" and "Deduction Two".
* You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
* You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend".
* You've ever tried to prove that Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
* You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
* You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
* The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
* You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
* You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
* You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs".
* You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
* You've ever uttered the phrase,"Why don't we just bomb the sons-of-bitches?"
* You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."
* You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie".
* You answer to "The Man".
* You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
* You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
* You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
* When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
* You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
* You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
* You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
* Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
* You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
* You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.
* You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
* You've ever called education a luxury.
* You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
* You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductible.
* You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
* You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
* You're afraid of the "liberal media."
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
* You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
* You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
* You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

BTW thanks I am sure I lost a few brain cells reading both of them
we need a steaming turd icon

 

[SirStev0]

You think that Rush Limbaugh is just an entertainer.



he is ...

 

[Infohawk]

Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

 

[Vic]

So it takes just one of those instances of crimethink to be branded as a liberal thought criminal?

Just checking, because I do think that Rush Limbaugh is just an entertainer. Of course, I think the same of Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, and Ted Koppel too, but that wouldn't count because I had blasphemed Rush Almighty right?

 

[DealMonkey]

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

Oh yeah? In what parallel universe?

 

[Pliablemoose]

LOL @ both lists...

 

[Tom]

Homeownership is at the highest rate ever. That means there's more people ever in our history are able to say, "I own something. I own my own home." I went to Pearl's home and it was pretty special. Really special, wasn't it? She said, "This is my home." When I walked up the stairs, she didn't say this is anybody else's home, but her home. She said, "Would you come into my home, please."
Ardmore, Pennsylvania, Mar. 15, 2004

DUBYA: Now, Judy is the co-founder of Genesis -- is that an accurate statement?
JUDY MEMBERG: Yes, it is.
DUBYA: She's a social entrepreneur.
JUDY MEMBERG: I've never been called that, but okay.
DUBYA: It's a plus.
Ardmore, Pennsylvania, Mar. 15, 2004

I met with Mark Borovitz and Harold Rothstein and Harriet Rosetta. Harriet is married to Mark. Mark is now a rabbi. He was in prison. He was addicted. He told me the story about how the rabbi in the prison got a hold of Mark, and said, "I'm never going to forget you. I love you. I want to help you." And so Mark runs into Harriet, his wife, who has started a -- she, too, is a social entrepreneur, by the way, at Beit T'Shuvah. It's a program for addicts. She sees him at the prison. He's kind of a -- probably feeling his oats pretty good about that time. She says, fine, why don't you -- if you want to do something constructive, why don't you just show up at our program?
Los Angeles, California, Mar. 3, 2004

dubyaspeak.com

 

[sixone]

Rush Limbaugh IS just an entertainer.

 

[Infohawk]

Originally posted by: DealMonkey

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

Oh yeah? In what parallel universe?

I'm glad you asked.

Here and other places too
Search for "I'm a liberal myself."

 

[alchemize]

My faves from both lists:

You don?t think ?All in the Family? is a very funny program, but watch it anyway because Meathead makes a lot of sense

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

But the liberal ones were more funny

 

[Todd33]

Originally posted by: Infohawk

Originally posted by: DealMonkey

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

Oh yeah? In what parallel universe?

I'm glad you asked.

Here and other places too
Search for "I'm a liberal myself."

TastesLikeChicken: First, let me say, once again, that I do not support Bush, I voted for Gore previously and will probably waste my vote on Badnarik this time around

That's rich considering he goes from thread to thread apologizing and defending Bush. Liars support liars I guess.

 

[TastesLikeChicken]

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

I'm a liberal that can laugh at myself, unlike some in here, apparently.

The other list is funny too. Hadn't seen that one before. Thanks for posting it.

 

[Infohawk]

Originally posted by: TastesLikeChicken
I'm a liberal that can laugh at myself, unlike some in here, apparently.

:roll: (It's definitely a good troll concept you got going there).

 

[TastesLikeChicken]

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

:lips:

You know what you can do with them.

 

[Infohawk]

Originally posted by: TastesLikeChicken

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

:lips:

You know what you can do with them.

Please mention you're a liberal as often as you can... it leads to hiliarious hi-jinxs. If not, I'll remind everyone for you.

 

[TastesLikeChicken]

Originally posted by: Infohawk

Originally posted by: TastesLikeChicken

Originally posted by: Infohawk
Don't forget tasteslikechicken is a liberal guys. Yes, he's actually said, "I'm a liberal."

:lips:

You know what you can do with them.

Please mention you're a liberal as often as you can... it leads to hiliarious hi-jinxs. If not, I'll remind everyone for you.

As promised in another thread for every time you address personal comments to me:

:lips:

And you know what you can do with them.

 

[FelixDeCat]

Originally posted by: TastesLikeChicken
By: Michael Bauman,
Ever since Michael Dukakis suffered a terrible drubbing at the polls for flashing his ACLU card in public and for identifying himself as a liberal without embarrassment, the dreaded ?L? word has fallen into wide disfavor, even disrepute. Some liberal politicians, like Bill Clinton, don?t like to use it all. Nevertheless, it?s still possible to know who?s a liberal and who is not.

You might be a liberal if . . .

You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.

You named your children Moonglow and Arizona.

You think the really alarming violence takes place outside the abortion clinic.

You?ve ever referred to the ?root cause? of something.

You pray to ?The Woman Upstairs.?

You think we never gave peace a chance.

You had to be told that ?Manhattan,? ?menopause? and ?boycott? were not sexist words

You begin sentences with the words ?I feel.?

Your driver?s license has a hyphen because for you one last name just isn?t enough.

You don?t think ?All in the Family? is a very funny program, but watch it anyway because Meathead makes a lot of sense.

You think OJ is out looking for the real killers.

You think Julia Sugarbaker is an astute social commentator.

You think it takes a village.

You think that the words ?to promote the general welfare? in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.

You think that, even though more people voted against him than for him in both the 1992 and the 1996 presidential elections, Bill Clinton had a mandate.

You think that conservatives, like preservatives, ought to be federally regulated.

You ever wore earth shoes.

You have ever wondered out loud, ?Why can?t we all just get along??

You think the New York Times prints all the news that?s fit.

You think that Rush Limbaugh is just an entertainer.

You spent Columbus Day reading Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

You reach the limits of your talent and then complain that you ran into a glass ceiling.

You wear more ribbons on your lapel than in your hair.

You think that the really dangerous McCarthy was Joe, not Eugene.

You blame the Unabomber?s parents.

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand.

:laugh: