Originally posted by: Aberforth
At least this thread will be worth a click so here's my favorite joke.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. ?Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.?
?I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes? replies Watson.
?And what do you deduce from that??
Watson ponders for a minute. ?Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Homologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes??
Holmes is silent for a moment.
?Watson, you idiot!? he says. ?Someone has stolen our tent!?
Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
Originally posted by: Kev
"A man goes into a bar, he has a dog with him. The dog is wearing an eye patch. The man says to the bartender, 'Ask me about my dog'. Unfortunately the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the end of the bar. When he comes around to the man with the dog again, the man orders an imported beer. He forgets what he was going to say about the dog."
WTF? that makes no sense.
That's the point of the joke. It's a joke wherein the joke is on the listener for getting interested only to shatter expectations. Generally they are longer (like Better Nate than Lever as an extreme example, although that one does actually have a punch line). The most common one involves a child who performs a certain action repeatedly over a long period of time but refuses to tell anyone why. The joke consists of expanding out the description of several years worth of performing this unknown activity, making it as detailed as possible, and making the listener keenly interested in seeing where it is all leading. The joke ends with a line about the boy finally telling people he will reveal his secret the next day, then crossing the street only to be hit by a bus and dying. The audience will never know what the secret was because there was no secret; your interest is piqued and never satisfied.
Originally posted by: skace
What game is that NuclearNed?
Originally posted by: digiram
Originally posted by: OCfreakley
This guy loves going hunting.
Every year he asks his wife to go with him and she always says no.
One year, fed up with the no's, he tells her he is sick of her no's and she has 3 choices.
She can either go hunting with him, give him head, or take it up the ass.
She instantly tells him she definitely won't take the third choice, but to give her a few minutes to decide.
He says fine and goes outside to finish packing for the hunting trip.
Upon his return she tells him she will not go hunting, so she begins giving him head.
She almost immediately pulls him out of her mouth and in disgust tells him it tastes like shit.
This is when he informs her that the dog didn't want to go hunting either.
hahaha...that's a good one.
Originally posted by: DangerAardvark
An armless, legless girl is laying on the beach crying. A man comes along and he says what are you crying about? She says I'm crying because in my whole life I've never been kissed. So he bends down and kisses her. He starts walking away, and she starts crying twice as hard. So he comes back and says what are you crying about now? She says I'm crying because in my whole life I've never been fucked. So he picks her up, tosses her in the ocean, and says you're fucked now!