Your oddest tech support calls

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

If you find it, please PM me.

 

[dquan97]

Or I can host it

 

[Steve]

I'll add it to my bbzzdd account tonight, if I can find it.


One of my coworkers does support for digital cameras, and often has customers calling to ask about "megapickles." He told me we ought to start providing millions of pickles to customers who ask. I told him the customers would relish the idea

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: virtuamike
Lady: My internet is broken!
Me: What do you mean it's broken?
Lady: I go to the website and I can't type in my account numbers?
Me: So you can go to a website, but you can't type in numbers?
Lady: Yes.
Me: Ok, see that row of numbers at the top of the keyboard? Try using those.
Lady: OK, that worked.
Me: Ok, now press the num lock key.

You talked to my mother-in-law?!

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

 

[SethK28]

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

nice

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: SethK28

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

nice

SFW?

 

[Mookow]

Originally posted by: Jero

Originally posted by: SethK28

Originally posted by: sm8000
Enjoy

nice

SFW?

Yeah, pretty much. No bare T&A.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

How old are they - or rather, how young?

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: Transition
Multiple instances of people sticking a USB cable into the ethernet jack on home computers. Oddly enough, the width of the USB cable fits nice and snug there.

I've done that. I hate mobo manufacturers for putting the eth jacks right on top of the USB's.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

Uhhh. Small note: Those ports are the same.

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

Uhhh. Small note: Those ports are the same.

Yeah but typically they are color-coded.

Green and purple.

But I guess, never under-estimate the knowledge or IQ of folks

 

[lokiju]

I did call center support for Compaq for 1.5 years about 7 years ago now.

I had a bunch of strange ones there.

One lady started asking me if I every tried "cyber sex" and I was like umm, know that I could be monitored there I didn't want to have to much fun but let her keep going, she said "you never have, well this is kind of what its like" and she started talking dirty to me. I had to try my best to not laugh out loud just at the thought of what was happening.

Another was someone screaming at me as soon as I picked up the phone (thats wasn't rare) but this one threatened to sue me and my family personally because their PC hard drive crashed and their "whole business" was on there. Told them they should have back it up if their "whole business" was run from it. Duh!

Another guy called with some common issue so I just repeated the same fix I had done thousands of times before step by step walking him through going to control panel then system etc.. and he yells at me "stop treating me like a god damn idiot!" and I replied "I'm sorry if you feel like and idiot sir", he wasn't very happy, but I could give two sh!ts by that point.

Another person yelled at me because they said I sound like a robot, but hey what do they expect, I was just repeating the same with him that I've done a tons of times with a ton of people, was just mindless at that point.

There are plenty beyond that job but those are still some memorable ones.

 

[Maschulo]

I also worked for compaq.. and i got the Cup holder call..

A) When i received this call i thought it was a joke, but the guy on the phone was as serious as my mother when she told me get the FoCk out of the house... (which am back and paying the dam mortgage and is mine now.. ) i tried to continue the phone call and see if this guy is serious but after 10mins of talking with the guy he was actually being for real, he said to me, i got a CDRW and the one on top you know the Big Gulp cup holder its broken can you pls send me a new one.. and just sent out another cdrom and told him the cup holder is on its way 2-3 days.. have a good day..

B) THE SCANNER!!!! the guy calls me and tells me that he connected the scanner to the computer but its not working.. he says its on but that it won't scan anything.. so after a while I asked the person to tell me excatly what he is doing, and he said: "Well i put the curson on scan first.. (ok) i put the picture i want to scan to the screen and i click on the mouse.. and i see the scanner to my right working.. i see the light and when its done, i remove the picture from the screen, and nothing, its a blank screen...(ok) Sir... try putting the picture in the scanner where the light source is coming out of.. and hang up the phone and called it a day.

 

[EyeMWing]

How bout some stuff from the field-work side of the desk.

I'm minding my own business, ransacking a stack of P2-era Gateway boxen (Decided to ditch them because the MB's are incredibly bitchy about RAM) for their HD's, CPU's, PSU's, CDROM's, floppy drives, RAM, and any removable plastic parts that will fit any of our other computers, peeling off identifying marks, applying red "DISPOSAL" tape and initialing the front panel of each, before placing them in a pile marked "FOR DISPOSAL."

Naturally I'm doing this in a classroom because god forbid they allow me into the computer storage area. It's SO much easier to haul them down the elevator on push carts, outside, up a loading ramp and into the only other room where I'm equipped to do such work. Some kid moseys up and goes "You're gonna get in trouble for writing on the computers!"


Another one it just... stupid on Gateway's part. This computer's power button is stuck in. I pop off the front panel and un-stick it, and proceed to press it again. It sticks in again. After careful examination, I determine that IT WAS DESIGNED THAT WAY. No plastic has been chipped off, nothing is worn down, IT CAME FROM THE FACTORY THAT WAY. I permanently removed the front panel (I attempted to fashion a crude fix out of a mobo standoff and some e-tape, and it worked, but it was too easy to knock out of place and jammed the button even worse when that happened)


Teacher with new mac complaining that an icon had dissapeared from the dock. Solution: Drag program onto dock.


A conversation between me and the "The Falcon". She's technically the librarian and IT manager, but all she does is unpack new purchases, tell people to call the helpdesk for help and keep track of our software licensing. I don't work under her, though.
<Me> I need to go install Photoshop upstairs
<Her> We're out of licenses. I can get another one from the county for $100 if you really need it.
<Me> Okay, I need Microsoft Office, then.
<Her> We're out of licenses.
<Me> It was already installed on this computer, but some diptard student uninstalled it somehow (I didn't bother explaining exactly how our entire system has been compromised because some tard found the password reset disk)
<Her> We're out of licenses.
<Me> Bah, fine.
I excused myself, and while walking out of her office, snatched the folder marked "MICROSOFT OFFICE" She didn't notice.


A conversation between myself and the IT kids that actually work under her, later that day when I returned the Office folder.
<Me> So, do you guys actually DO anything? Every time I'm here you're watching Jeopardy on tape or somthing.
<Kid 1> Nope. We aren't actually allowed to touch anything.
<Kid 2> Yeah, we just install printers for some teachers every once in awhile
<Kid 3> And move new computers around
<Kid 2> So, what exactly do YOU do?
<Me> I've written custom software, manage three of four of the labs, actually CARE FOR those labs (These guys admin the fourth lab, and the spyware and games just pile up), and about a billion and a half other things. I'm always busy.
<Kid 2> Ohmygod, do they pay you?
<Me> In a way.
<Kid 4> (This is some big whale of a nerd-chick-thing that's wanted to jump me since she found out how much I pwn) So why havn't you joined the tech club (That's what they call themselves)?
<Me> Because I do work. You don't. You guys get the credit, your names posted in the yearbook, hell, some dweeb even credited you guys for MY SOFTWARE in the school paper. I just do the work.
<Kid 4> But you should still join, for the perks
I shuddered and departed at best speed, terrible mental images creeping into my mind.

 

[TTM77]

Originally posted by: SethK28

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

nice

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: TTM77

Originally posted by: SethK28

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

nice

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Nice!

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: JeroSFW?

Read my description above and decide for yourself, especially the part where I say:

his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera

SagaLore - no idea, never met them. I'm guessing 18 or 19 at the time since I think they were in college too (but not at my school).

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: flexy

Originally posted by: Gurck
This is scary stuff... I can barely handle tech support for family &amp; friends without blowing up (and do occasionally), and couldn't handle doing it as my job...

same here...i think i would go insane...

The irony is...there are tech-support people who are *at least* as dumb as the dumb people calling in there.....

That's so fvcking true... would you like me to start posting the worst calls our h-desk receives?

 

[DaveJ]

Originally posted by: SagaLore
We had a lady that had trouble connect her keyboard to her computer. She couldn't get it lined up right to push it in. One of the techs suggested to her over the phone to push and turn the connector until it was able to push in. Next day she comes into the store and shows us the keyboard, the pins were completely bent around in a circle. We gave her a new keyboard. Then she came in again the next day with same problem.

Oh man, this reminds me of another one... A few years ago we had a user who got a new laptop. Except this one wasn't the standard model we installed, it was white (she demanded this model because it matched the decor in her office. :roll: ) Anyway, the power connector for this model was square on three sides but rounded on the top so you could only plug it one way. Or so it seemed.

She had the laptop for about a week, took it out of town, and when she came back complained that it wasn't working. Somehow she'd managed to jam the power connector in the wrong way, and when she yanked it out the connector on the board broke off. Compaq replaced the board under warranty and all was well... for about two weeks. We get a call again, and behold, *another* broken power connector. Compaq replaced the board *again*, and this time we sent a tech out to show her how to plug the connector in. Two weeks after that we get a *third* call... yep, another broken connector. After that she got a new laptop, one of our standard models with a round power connector, so she couldn't screw that one up...

Dave

 

[phonemonkey]

I think almost all of my calls would qualify for this thread (I do tech support for Safeway stores and corporate facilities).

So far this month, I've had a store in southern cali that was confused about what to do when the printer was asking for paper in a tray (I dunno, maybe put paper in it???). I've also had a store that thought it would be fun to turn off the UPS (she said that the button looked "neat" and wanted to touch it).

I think our best store calls have been people with the gas leak in the store and didn't know what to do (calling the gas company and/or fire dept hadn't crossed their minds). The best part was that they wanted to email it to us, but couldn't find the password to email us and decided to call instead. They honestly were surprised when we told them to evacuate and call the gas company.

I think my best call I've had here was some poor soul in the Phoenix area that had literally no idea what he was doing. The call basically went like this:

Him: I can't get into ______
Me: Ok, what does it say when you try to access it?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Can you try to access it so you can read the message to me?
Him: That's the thing, I don't remember how to get back into it.
Me: Do you know what you use the application for?
Him: No, I was just told to use this and so I use it.
Me: Do you have any inkling of how you get to it (ie: any icons, commands, etc that you use)?
Him: No.

Pretty much at this point, I told him to call his manager and to have the manager give him the directions. I should note that the call started off with him not knowing what building he was in, nor his dept. I should be amazed that he knew his id.

It's actually a very common problem for people to not know what building they're in, but everyonce in a while, you get some poor soul that doesn't know what dept they work in (and no, they've got very clear names).

I decided a long time ago that it wasn't worth buying my medicine in our pharmacies, given their extremely poor problem description abilities, and lack of ability to follow even basic instructions.

 

[kyparrish]

Originally posted by: blazert40

Originally posted by: TTM77

Originally posted by: SethK28

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

nice

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Nice!

 

[jtusa]

Originally posted by: kyparrish

Originally posted by: blazert40

Originally posted by: TTM77

Originally posted by: SethK28

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

Enjoy

nice

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Nice!

I bet those girls never in a million years thought that picture would end up on the internet with thousands of people looking at it.

 

[petejk]

i told this guy i work in southern california...and he told me he used to live in so cal...

UNDER A BRIDGE!!.... he told me he was a street person

then...he told me one time he was looking for work...this guy took him to a job ....and then transported his ass somewhere either deep in mexico / south america for some SLAVE LABOR job in the 1980s for a while.

anyway..he hitchhiked back to the US

read the newspaper and saw a job advertisement for a driving school.

after a couple years...he has 6 locations for this driving school and i think its the largest in the state of Michigan.

He had no formal education...and he had questions about using some Autodesk software

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: jtusa4I bet those girls never in a million years thought that picture would end up on the internet with thousands of people looking at it.

That is true, and that pic won't be staying up much longer....