youth sports (soccer) ???

[CPA]

my dad and our neighbor were banned from coaching together because their teams were so dominant. they didn't teach to win - they taught the kids how to play soccer, and won as a result.

That is fucked up on so many levels. The banning, I mean.

 

[waggy]

I agree about letting the coach, coach, but parents aren't always going to be positive if it's a competitive team and the parents are shelling out big bucks, especially if it's a travel squad.

a travel squad is not something i think most are talking about. those are different.

In a Travel team i do understand having kids sit if they are not up to the rest of the team.

What i think the majority are talking about is the normal youth soccer/baseball teams.

 

[MotionMan]

I rue they day they came up with the "participation trophy". A big step towards the pussification of America.

("'Rue the day?' Who talks that way?" )

MotionMan

 

[Slew Foot]

OMFGFGFOMGOFMGOFMGOOGMF. LITTLE MIKEY ISNT GETTING A HARVARD SCHOLARSHIP BECAUSE HE DIDNT GET A FREE KICK IN PEE WEE SOCCORROROROOR!!!!> RaAaAAAAaaAGgGGGGEEGEGEEEE!!!!

 

[mugs]

This is competitive soccer and it is a tournament. The kids are 12 to 13 yo. There is 20 minutes left. I don't know why you guys missed the question.

At that age no coach is going to make a decision that hurts his team, so it would appear that little johnny may have been the best choice to take the PK, and little Mike's parents may think too highly of their child.

Also, it appears that the OP is a douche for insulting people who dared to ask for more information, and an idiot for criticizing little Johnny because the ball went straight to the goalie. The goalie mostly has to guess on a penalty kick in soccer, because they really don't have time to react after the kick. So if the ball went straight to the goalie it's because he guessed correctly.

 

[PowerEngineer]

It's really too bad that the emphasis on winning becomes so strong so early in our children's lives. And even sadder that it's the parents that often push it the hardest.

Mikey's parents could not have been very "discreet" if you and everyone else noticed their display. I'll bet that all the kids, including little Johnny, noticed it too. If that's closer to what really happened, then I'd hope that the coach would have had a talk with them about supporting and cheering for all the kids on the team.

Frankly, I've rubbed shoulders with far too many parents of high school kids who invest too much time (and pride) in their offsprings' prowess (and playing time) in sports, and much too little toward their academic success.

 

[MotionMan]

It's really too bad that the emphasis on winning becomes so strong so early in our children's lives.

When should it start?

Mikey's parents could not have been very "discreet" if you and everyone else noticed their display. I'll bet that all the kids, including little Johnny, noticed it too. If that's closer to what really happened, then I'd hope that the coach would have had a talk with them about supporting and cheering for all the kids on the team.

On the contrary, I got the impression that Johnnie's dad was the only one who saw Mikey's dad.

Honestly, I blame the coach for the situation. Clearly, he has failed to communicate his intentions to the parents ahead of time, setting up this problematic situation.

MotionMan

 

[Gooberlx2]

a travel squad is not something i think most are talking about. those are different.

In a Travel team i do understand having kids sit if they are not up to the rest of the team.

What i think the majority are talking about is the normal youth soccer/baseball teams.

OP did say it was a competitive tournament, so he may actually mean traveling teams, and U13 is about the age where the coach may use a designated PK taker...but it's still his discretion. And, as Mugs mentioned, PKs are a crapshoot. Chances are the goalie simply guessed correctly.

Parents should just STFU and watch.

Anyone who's had to eject asshole parents from the game raise their hand.
<-- raises hand.

 

[Fayd]

All I read was over sensitive parents whose lives only consist of being involved in their children's activities.

this.

 

[biostud]

Coach decides, end of story.

 

[7window]

At that age no coach is going to make a decision that hurts his team, so it would appear that little johnny may have been the best choice to take the PK, and little Mike's parents may think too highly of their child.

Also, it appears that the OP is a douche for insulting people who dared to ask for more information, and an idiot for criticizing little Johnny because the ball went straight to the goalie. The goalie mostly has to guess on a penalty kick in soccer, because they really don't have time to react after the kick. So if the ball went straight to the goalie it's because he guessed correctly.

No it wasn't guess correctly but was kicked slow and to the goalie.

 

[7window]

OP did say it was a competitive tournament, so he may actually mean traveling teams, and U13 is about the age where the coach may use a designated PK taker...but it's still his discretion. And, as Mugs mentioned, PKs are a crapshoot. Chances are the goalie simply guessed correctly.

Parents should just STFU and watch.

Anyone who's had to eject asshole parents from the game raise their hand.
<-- raises hand.

Parents didn't say anything but looked at each other and gestured. The other parents saw them.

 

[wischeez]

Are you the butt-hurt parent here?

 

[slsmnaz]

No it wasn't guess correctly but was kicked slow and to the goalie.

then how competitive can it truly be if one of the players has trouble kicking the ball 12yds? I'm thinking you oversold the league and that would make both parents idiots

 

[GotIssues]

When I played, we usually went with "Whoever took the penalty takes the penalty shot." It probably helped that the team I was on was 10x more athletic and talented than nearly every team we played. Missing out on 1 goal in a 7-0 game asn't that big of deal. However, if it was a close game, he used the "good" player. It's the best of both worlds. Both kids get their opportunities to shine - crappy kid gets to take some p-kicks, but knows that if there is a lot on the line, he gives it up to the one that is good. The good player knows that everyone gets an opportunity, but if he's needed, to be ready.

There are two teachable lessons in this scenario:

1) Sucky kid will get a shot. Sure, he may not beas good as the other kid, as long as the parents/coach isn't letting him off with excuses - "It's ok, the ball took a bad bounce" and the like are not acceptable. A simple "Well, you tried your best, but what you could have done better is . . ." will let the kid know that he can improve.

2) Good kid won't think he's automatically entitled to every kick. Unfortunately, when I was growing up, I WAS this kid. I was always first picked, first string, etc, etc. When a situation arose, I assumed it was for me. It actually was detrimental as I got older and the talent levels reached where I was. It was difficult to adjust to not being "the man" after being "the man" for virtually my entire life. Teaching the good kid that every shot isn't his is a good thing.

However, both parents are in the wrong. Getting their undies in a wad over sports teaches their children to take it way too seriously. Have a fire to win, but put that fire into the game, not into getting in fights.

 

[robphelan]

I have 2 girls in soccer at the Y right now (8 and 5). my 8yr old is very good (soccer isn't my 5yro's sport). At this age, its great to win(we're 18 & 2 over the past 2 seasons) and it does get competetive, but it's more about teaching the basics of positions and passing (passing, passing, passing and more passing).

However, as I see her and her team progress, by the time she's 10, I fully expect the 'A' kids to get the key plays.

As for everyone-gets-a-trophy, that's important as a young child to encourage them to get out and play.. as they get older, this should phase out.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Parents didn't say anything but looked at each other and gestured. The other parents saw them.

I went a bit off on a ranting tangent.

Both sets of parents got all butt hurt for the wrong reasons. They're all idiots.

 

[MotionMan]

The pussification of youth sports has been going on for 20+ years now. How are American teenagers' self-esteem as a whole? They are a bunch of entitled, self-absorbed pussies who don't know what it takes to win or how to lose.

How well is USA soccer doing? 4-0.

How is the USA fairing in international competition in the typical youth sports (soccer, basketball, baseball). Seems to me we are generally getting our asses handed to us (except in basketball where we use to beat the crap out of the world with college players but now need pros who don't have nearly the advantage they use to).

Is there a one-to-one correlation? Probably not. But I think there must be connection.

When I coach, I coach like a coach and not like a babysitter/wet nurse. I have had nothing but positive results and positive feedback from parents (even the wimpiest moms. Most parents are tired of their kids being babied) and the kids (who also love the results). BTW, everyone plays the same amount on my team, I just know how to put the right kids in the right positions so that everyone gets the feeling that when the team succeeds, they were a part of that success.

There is no reason to purposely put a poor player in a position where he is likely to fail. It frustrates the kid, his teammates and all the parents and adversely affects the result of the game. Sounds like a lose-lose-lose-lose proposition to me. Why do that?

MotionMan

 

[purbeast0]

at ages 12-13, they are playing to win IMO. it's not about "having fun" at that age, or "playing with the team" ... it's about winning that is right before highschool where players are starting to stand out a lot more than those who suck. my 7th and 8th grade bball team won the championship and you can bet your ass that the 12th man was not getting the same amount of game time as the starters.

but if they were like 7-8 years old, i'd say who cares.

 

[edro]

A major problem with youth sports is that parents with competitive kids put them on the non-competitive teams.

If you are a psycho parent who thinks your kid is god's gift, you need to put them on a traveling team.
If they didn't make the traveling team and you put them on the rec league, understand that many other parents put their kids into recreational leagues to have fun and teach them benefits of fitness and team building.

I play soccer 2-3 times a week, as an adult. I see it all the time, even with adults.
Psychos don't understand that some people play for the fun and fitness of it.
99&#37; of the people at pick up or adult rec leagues understand that.
Every now and then, a new guy comes along and plays recklessly and extremely aggressively.
Generally, they get handled with by veterans who know how to deal with their type.
A nicely timed elbow, hip check, trip, face aimed free kick, etc. does the trick.

None of this matters for the OP story though. The coach is the one who picked him to take the free kick.
Mike's parents are dicks for making a comment, so I understand why John's dad said something.
I would have said something like "F-U, this is a rec league." if it really made me mad.

If this is a school league or a traveling team, Mike's parents are justified.

 

[waggy]

OP did say it was a competitive tournament, so he may actually mean traveling teams, and U13 is about the age where the coach may use a designated PK taker...but it's still his discretion. And, as Mugs mentioned, PKs are a crapshoot. Chances are the goalie simply guessed correctly.

Parents should just STFU and watch.

Anyone who's had to eject asshole parents from the game raise their hand.
<-- raises hand.

didn't see it in the OP. i see he did it latter and insulted people because he was a idiot and didn't give all the information.

Also i have my doubts it was a actual travel team. why take a kid that can't kick the fucking ball 12 yards? was he the goalie? wtf really it does nto make sense.

 

[CPA]

a travel squad is not something i think most are talking about. those are different.

In a Travel team i do understand having kids sit if they are not up to the rest of the team.

What i think the majority are talking about is the normal youth soccer/baseball teams.

hmm, where I live there are as many travel (select) squads as "regular" leagues, in every conceivable sport - football, baseball, softball, basketball (AAU), volleyball, soccer, lacrosse, etc.

 

[classy]

My little one plays youth soccer. I have seen some doozies. Little mikes' dad is an a-hole. You root for all the kids to do well. And at times the so called lesser ones need a chance to show what they can do. Little johnnys dad should not have said anything, but I understand his frustration.

 

[Sentrosi2121]

Anyone who's had to eject asshole parents from the game raise their hand.
<-- raises hand.

I coached soccer when I was in the Navy and had to eject a Marine colonel from the field. His son was a dominant player on my team, but I elected to have him sit out for a while. He would intercept passes to team mates and elect to go his own route. So I sat him down. His father comes over in full uniform, adjusts his hat and proceeds to dress me down. I inform him, as kindly as I could, that he had zero chance on MY field with MY team in winning any arguement. He pulls back to take a swing at me, I duck then ask him to leave. The ref sees this and informs the colonel to take a walk.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Also i have my doubts it was a actual travel team. why take a kid that can't kick the fucking ball 12 yards? was he the goalie? wtf really it does nto make sense.

Yeah I didn't see the OP's post right above mine. I no longer think it was a travel team either, for the same reason you mention.

In this case, it really should be about the fun then. Fact is that at U13, if the kid's not already on a travel/club team, then he won't be making it through tryouts for his HS team...unless they really suck.