A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a 9 iron golf club wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.”
“We went to look for them and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white stuck in its rear end.
"I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was the golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.
"That’s when I made my big mistake.”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!”
"That's when she attack me with her 9 iron."
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me', she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and then asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!"